Some practical, non emotion advice needed, please?

Question

Im trying to sort out my boyfriend's funeral, and I've hit a massive dead end. I know for a fact that my boyfriend would've wanted (although we very rarely spoke of funeral type matters - we didn't have any reason to) the priest that presided over his church (he was an alter boy) to do the funeral, but after talking to the priest, he refused on the grounds that my boyfriend was g*y.

I have no idea what to try and do now. Do I continue persisting with the priest and try to persuade him? Or do I try to come up with something else, knowing I'm going against my boyfriend's wishes?

Any response (not blithe or sarcastic) would be welcome.

thanks,

Jason

Answer 1

find another church if you want a church burial AND DONT SAY IT WAS YOUR BF say it was your best friend.  not exactly a lie maybe?

Answer 2

Asking the priest fulfilled your boyfriend's wishes. You can't force the priest to go along with his wishes. So come up with something else.

P.S. My condolences.

Answer 3

Just have the funeral at the funeral home's chapel, and get a chaplain to do it

Answer 4

Why would you wish to continue to deal with such a judgemental @rsehole.  I seem to remember a teaching which stated "judge not lest you be judged" Sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

I agree w/ my2cents.

Answer 6

You tried.

By trying you fulfilled your boyfriends wishes as already said above. Get some opinions from the other mourners as to what they would do in this situation.

If the priest has said no, he is unlikely to change his mind - don't pursue this any further.

Good luck anyway

Answer 7

firstly sorry for your loss ...its sad when we lose anyone in our lives and worse when we are close to them

ok ...[i have faith but believe we love all as we were all made the way we are -just to clarify before i suggest] ......reason with the priest ...explain how you know he always wanted to patch up ill feelings with priest and that he felt if  god loved him then forgiveness was one of gods ways to love back ....

do you want him to just attend or be the officiator of the service ?

if the latter ..i think just getting him to attend may be easier and still respectful to your bf ....as i said reason ,use logic and discuss his faith [am assuming he was still a follower of god,if he wants his priest present ?]

hope i havent assumed wrongly and goodluck

again my condolences

Answer 8

what someone wishes before they die and what actually happens doesnt always work out...

at the end of the day how many are going to remember the funneral service or what the person really wanted .. not to be sarcastic but at the end of the day.. once the person is dead and buried who is going to make a fuss over it.. and what fuss you make is it all worth it as you cannot consult your friend over the issue..  

Answer 9

This seems a rather long time after the death.   You could contact the Diocesan 0ffice.   They will be able to offer support and help.