Some "kids' father" advice...(kinda long)...?

Question

I'm 22, I have a job as a 911 Operator for the city of N.O., and I'm 35 wks pregnant with twins, with the goal of returning to class in Janurary. My kids' father is 24 and in the academy for the NOPD. I ended up pregnant while on birth control (which explains the twins) and at the same time found out he was living a "double life" with another female and their child. Not wanting to have an abortion I kept the pregnancy.

After finding out it was twins I had a bout of depression and thought everything was going downhill. Months later, I discovered it's not as bad as it seems, but it could be much better.

Anyway... as I stated I'm thisclose to having my twins and there are a few things I still don't have yet the things I seriously need. I told the "father" and he is complaining about not having money. So far I've been the one buying extras and getting everything together for the babies, and he hasn't even purchased a binky, diaper, anything...

What should I do? Should I be on his case more so, or just do what I have to do on my own, and after the kids are born place him on child support? Mind you he hasn't said anything to his mother about her future grand kids yet...

Answer 1

I would say so....

Child support is the way to go on this because the money is not for you its for the kids and he needs to be helping out and doing his part sooo i would get his *** as soon as they pop!

Congrats BTW and stay strong being a single mom is hard i did it for 3 years then found a good man and married him but dont try on your own it takes two hunny!

Answer 2

As inconvenient as it sounds, I think you'll have to take him to court to get child support. He could have a sudden change of heart once the babies are born, but you won't be able to count on that.

Answer 3

Congratulations on your blessings!  You didn't mention any family you may have there to help you...?  Regardless, do not depend on their father for emotional support, nor should you expect him 'to do the right thing'.  Believe me, 'the right thing' is open to interpretation when finances and other women get involved.  So, do what you have to do on your own and don't wait until they're born to start support proceedings.  It takes a while to get the legal stuff done and waiting will only delay any assistance you are eligible to receive from him.  

Also, please feel free to let his mom know, mothers are often more helpful than their sons.  Also, if she is a good mother she will want to help you and your kids just so that she could have a relationship with them as they grow.  

Remember, being sweet and kind to your kids' grandmother will benefit you and them, so when you let her know, do it nicely.  Good luck and enjoy your babies, they certainly are lucky to get you for a mom.

Answer 4

try the child support. you'll need it.

if you want revenge, go ahead and involve his mom. that is if you are 1) pressed for money, and 2) close with her.

as for the father, well he isn't and won't be a father so don't count on him. at all. don't even keep him updated. he obviously does not care about the kids nor you. sorry to be so harsh, but why should you care about that piece of s***? he's nothing. you will have 2 beautiful babies that you are bringing to life and despite all the money problems, THEY will be your pride and joy. small comfort, but HE won't. focus on the kids and getting whatever money you can from him. other than that, he should be kept out.

i admire you for keeping the twins. if i were in your situation i would have aborted. good luck.