Somebody please help me?

Question

I am a 21 year old male living in calgary, canada. My family is about 3,000 km away in ottawa. I am currently living in a condo with a roomate who is kicking me out. I am dating a 23 year old with 2 children, one is 4 and the other 1. We have been seeing each other about 4 months, we started seeing each other while she was living with her previous boyfriend. She was in an abusive relationship, and she moved into her mothers for 2 months. Then her mother kicked her out, and her only option was to find a place to live or move back in with her abusive boyfriend. She has a friend that wanted to move in with her, but she wasnt in town at the time when she was being kicked out, so she couldnt afford the damage deposit. So i lent her the money and put my name on the lease, because they wouldnt let her move in because of her income. Her friend assured her she was going to move in the next month. Now her friend is backing out, she cant afford this months rent by herself, and my name is on the lease. Her boyfriend is offering to move in and help her out, otherwise shes on the street. Should i move in with her? Should i try to work things out with my roomate? Should i go back home?

Answer 1

Since your name is on the lease, your credit will be severely damaged if she defaults on the lease.

I suppose you could move in with her, but that is probably going to make things even worse. Plus if those kids get attached to you and you leave, well that will be a bad thing as well. Can you patch things up with your existing room mate? Only you and he can figure that out.

I would insist that your girlfriend find another female room mate as quickly as possible, and you're probably going to have to pay part of the rent for a month or two. Obviously you don't want to have her abusive ex move in with her. Running home is an option but it's the cowards way out. I don't recommend it. No character building there!

There are two things you need to learn from this. NEVER co-sign anything for anybody unless you can give that money as a gift because that's more than likely what you're going to end up doing. Secondly, you need to think things through and think about the possible consequences. Basically, can you handle the worst case scenario? If the answer is no, don't do it. Good luck.

Answer 2

its nice that youre helping her but my gut is telling me that shes going to be extremely dependent in the near future. and especially with kids, shes gonna start to want you to take care of them too (financialy) GO HOME. this happened to my friends husband before and it was nightmarish. she was so nice in the beginning but became SO DEPENDENT once she knew she had him hooked

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