Someone Please Help Me :'(?

Question

My Father and Mother are Split up as soon as I was Born, and have been living separately ever since. I used to go around my Father's every Friday... We used to have some good times and memories that I will treasure forever. I idolized my Father, I looked up to him... Recently my Father moved to Holland around Christmas time... He wanted to get away from everything for a while, the first few months was quite easy to handle, but now I have realized just how much I need him in my life... My current Parents (Mother and New Husband) always talk about how useless my he was, whenever they talk about my Father it is always in a bad way... Today my Father rang my Mother for the first time since he left and he was talking about how much he regrets his past, my Mother didn't listen instead she just Insulted him even more...

I feel like this is all my fault... I cant help but blame myself for all this... I cant handle this anymore.

Someone, please tell me what to do... :'(

Answer 1

Dude, your parents differences are NEVER a child's fault! Though, a child or children feel as though they are the reason for the marriage to fail between parents, it is simply not the case. Your parents have to think of you and from the looks of it, your mother needs to learn that he is your father no matter the case, and she should have more respect for your feelings and to discontinue belittling him in front of you. Do not blame yourself for the way your mom feels, you can't change her feelings but you can ask the she stop for the sake of hurting you. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

i basically went through the same thing except my dad didnt move and my evil stepmother treats me like im just a s***w up and im never going to amount to anything but trust me its not your fault i promise it isnt but if you need to talk email me anytime at [e-mail]

Answer 3

I'm in the same situation as you. Don't try to blame yourself okay? you have nothing to do with it. I spent so much time wondering "what did i do?" but now, i know i couldn't of done anything at all. Don't make that mistake okay?

E-mail me if you need anything=]

Good Luck♥

Answer 4

this is not your fault at all.

your mom is handling the situation very poorly.

for her to down talk him in front of you...is very immature.

you love your father and your mother.

but they obviously have some unresolved issues.

your mom should not involve you in those issue if any thing. she should be encouraging you to keep a relation ship with your father.

mabe you should sit down and have a talk with your mom and step dad.

and tell them how you feel.

then mabe call your father. and see if you can arrange to spend a month with him or somthing.

please dont feel as though this is your fault.

it really isnt.

it is common for the children of dvorced parents to feel the fault.

but

you are not at fault.

xoxo

best of luck.

Answer 5

Yeah. I understand your feeling. I myself felt it before. I feel like breaking down. Well, in perfect opposite of yours, it's my mum who went away instead of my dad. Well, my story and yours are the same, except for my mum is the one who ran away and my dad who yelled at mum.

You just have to live with it. I've gotten used to it. Although the first few days are painful....

Answer 6

Seriously Dude, you cannot believe that it's YOUR fault.  Do you?  I mean after all the ABC Movies of the Week and Pop psychology out there, the child of a divorced couple feeling responsible is nothing if not cliche.  Fact is, your parents love you as much as they possibly could.  Any failing of their love for each other is a result of their failing to accept themselves.  Not a result of ANYTHING that YOU did.  You are not to blame here.  PERIOD.  Do not even give in to the temptation to even think you are to blame.  Your parents may have made and may continue to make poor decisions.  At least in regard to your needs.  You have a right to loved by two parents.  But another fact is you are very lucky because many children do not get the opportunity to be raised and loved by a single parent.  Count your blessings my friend and stop feeling sorry for yourself.  Take stock of the man you are destined to be and resolve yourself to be a better man for your children when you get to be a parent.  

Answer 7

NOT YOUR FAULT AND NEVER WILL BE! Your mom is still bitter about the breakup but it isn't right to talk bad about him to you. You have seen first hand what kind of dad that he is and you know what he is capable while you are with him. His relationship with your mother is totally different and things may have happened that you don't know about. Call him whenever you can and want to and don't listen to your mother. That's her opinion of him but not your. She still has so much anger/bitterness that it's making him look bad and you know the opposite to be true. Just tell you that you don't care to hear her talk about him like that and that may be her opinion of him but let me form my own opinon for myself. Maybe one day, I will see things your way but for right now I think he is great.

Answer 8

i feel really sorry for you. I think you should show your parents lots of love and let them figure ti out. Maybe he really hurt your mom and he needs to do a lot more than just call. Maybe you could tell your mom how sorry he is. Just give them both lots of love.  

Answer 9

don't blame yourself for your parents splitting up its not your fault. you have to know that not all marriages last long its just that maybe the flame that was burning just kinda burnt out. maybe just for your mom or your dad or both of them. just tell them how you feel. trust they will tell you its not your fault. just have a talk with them maybe it can rekindle the flame and bring them back together again if they talk about their differences.

Answer 10

Calm down.

Tell your mum how you feel about it.

Talking will hopefully help, if not: she'll at least think about what you said.

Answer 11

i kno this sounds wierd but talk to a TEACHER they will always help u no matter wat

Answer 12

Wow, that's awful. I feel bad for people wit corrupt families, it must be awful. But anyway, you should talk to your mom about it. Tell her how you feel and that your dad means a lot to you. That's all I can say, Dude. Good luck!

Answer 13

its not your falt just some people arent ment to be to geather my parents split up when i was 3 and i understand how it feels! dont think its your falt!