Someone asks you to invite them out, but you can't stand them...?

Question

what would you tell them?

ok, so theres this guy who i hate. in my old 'section', he had a lot of friends, and i had none. he is political, manipulative, and he ignored me to the max, and used to talk nonsense about me. however, he gave me a small lift to the station on 3 occassions (so saved me like 2 minutes of walking). he is the type of guy who does things only to expect something in return (thats how he treats me anyway).

now, we are temporarily in a new 'section' (after this, we will return to the old one), and now im the one with a lot of friends, and him with none. he is begging me to take him out to lunch in my car along with my friends and stuff. as expected, he was nice in the last one 1-2 weeks of my old section, as he knew he was coming here.

now, i know he is fake, and i don't want to have anything to do with him, so i dont want to call him along. the problem is...we will return to the old section. is it best to just ignore this guy, and not accept anything from him in the future?

Answer 1

I would tell him... "Sure come along!" It's not going to kill you to be friends with this guy. It's important that we go beyond ourselves and do something for somebody else even if we don't want to. There are always going to be people like this in your life and may be you can lead by example on how to treat others. You can do it!

Answer 2

if you don't like someone don't talk to them.... so don't bother.  

Answer 3

Just my two-cents worth:  Take the high road and invite him along one day.  You're better than him, so don't stoop to his level by repaying evil with evil.  Besides, it's always good to do a little something for someone else -- the day may come when you need help and he's the only one around who can...

Answer 4

I agree with Kimbo's suggestion that you say "Sure, come along" when you're going out with a group. It's not fake to have different sorts of relationships with people. We have close friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and strategic alliances - these boundaries are healthy and normal.

You work with this guy, so it doesn't hurt to try to rebuild good, cordial working relationships. You're not pretending to be best buddies.

You do say you "hate" him but you accepted those lifts, so he must think that things are OK between you. That may not be  bad thing.

If you think inviting him out with your friends just wouldn't sit well with you, then don't. But I would still try to avoid antagonism. Ignoring him could seem like a bit of a power trip and may have unnecessary and nasty repercussions when the balance tips back.

Lunch with the crowd isn't such a big deal unless he puts you down, acts like a jerk & it'd embarrass you.  

Answer 5

first  of all I don't think that it is fair that you say that you hate this guy or what ever but yet you except help from him. So what if he only saved you two mins. of walking time he still did something nice for you. I think that you need to return the favor once and then don't talk to him at all. I think that will bring good karma back to you. The cardanial rule is if somene does something nice for you then you should give a favor back in return if not that is not fair thing to be acting like.

Answer 6

Yes, ignore him and don't invite him.