Someone help me with this friends issue?

Question

alright there are two different friends im having problems with.

one of them my best female friend.one week before school ended she started back on drugs and i tried to make her quit. she did for awhile. but no its been three and half months since we have spoken. everyone even her own boyfriend now ex doesnt even like her anymore. shes becoming a loner except her little follower. and the only reason she keeps him around is for her drugs and alcohol...i really want her friendship back but i dont think i can get it back after i had ratted her out about beign with this guy that was totally too old for her.. shes gotten fat..from drugs and such.shes gonna end up losing everything and everyone at the rate shes going.ive tried to save her several times yet she doesnt want my help anymore. She says its all my fault and i didnt even do anything to her...My family has done so much for her in our past six years of friendship. we have taken her to california for easter.once for a summer. to the beach and six flags. and even to hawaii. we have spent alot of money on her and. the way she repays me and my family is she doesnt even speak to me for no apparent reason and tells her little pet my friend and her follower to get off her property. She just has turned into a complete ***** and everyone in my family hates it. even my friends notice the way shes actiing..i really dont know how to face her when school starts back up in two days... one she wants to fight me two im not sure how the energy will be...you know?

well answer this portion and my next please..

--------------------------------------...

Now my male best friend.

i had a friend all the way out from virginia ive known her for lets see twelve years now. and i wanted her to meet all my california friends so i planned a day filled with everyone comign to my house three of my guy friends and us girls. Now my guy friend he said he didnt want to go there because of his moms back was hurting so i said alright i understand is it alright if we come over there he said yea thats fine. (by the way he is completely and obsessively in love with me and i turn him down everytime and its been like that for eight years) So the day comes up and i said well did you get ahold of chad and nick he said ohh umm they arent able to come over... this is at like midnight we are texting and i told him you didnt even ask them dumbass.. and he started to get all defensive then he started to say you change too much bal bla bla and then he called me a stuck up ***** and my best friend that was with me she didnt tolerate that so she cussed him out. the next day he went cryin to his mommy and daddy. like the mommys boy he is. and his mom freakin emailed my mom sayin your daughter is so irrsponsible and such. it was totally g*y. but she acted like her son did nothing wrong whatsoever. Im really not sure what to do with him i have not spoken with him since and its been since around july...15th or so. but i did see him once around a week and half ago when i was working out with my cousin and brother. he came into the place as i bent down to tie my shoe stopping the treadmill. i get up and my cousin looks at me and says look!! point at them walking past us. i nearly screamed. she asked what i was gonna do. i just said ignore him. i put on my music and kept workin out ( by the way the only thing they could be there for is for drug test and working out and he wasnt working out so i dont know exactly has been goin on with him)The reason the whole thing started is he didnt want his/mine guy friends to be around when im there because he feels like he wont get attention. because hes only a friend to me. & he doesnt get that. its irratating...before i even saw him again i sent his mom an email explaining everything and then i told him that i didnt want him speaking to me unless i spoke first. so now i dont know what to do should i talk to him again or just leave it alone? ive known him for eight years.

sorry took forever.

thanks to those who take their time to reply

Answer 1

Sounds like our friends are losers, try to avoid them. They bring you down.

Answer 2

about the first one i think the best thing to do is just keep on tlkin to her. well tryin. dont give up on her and pray for her! shell make it. tell her hw yu feel about wat she is doing. scream yur heart out. NO MATTER WAT...( AS LONG AS YU LUV HER AS A REAL GUD FRND) NVR GIVE UP ON HER!! SHE NEEDS SOMEBODY THERE!

about the second one...tlk to him...text him..sumtin...yuve known each other for 8 years! i have a guy frnd like that to. been turin him dwn fr the past two years.lol. but ya tlk to him!!!!!!!

gud luck with evrything. and i wish yur female best frnd the best of luck! shell be in my prayers ;)  

Answer 3

friend #1:

there is only so much you can do as a friend to help her you know its the drugs that are making her this way and if you honestly did nothing wrong then the only thing you can do is confront her, when she says she wants to fight you ask why? then tell her you dont care if she doesnt see you as a friend right now she is still yours and you wont fight your friend, walk away if things dont get any better get her family involved if you have solid proof she does all these drugs use it against her i mean yeah you dont want to be a rat but in the long run you will have helped maybe that means losing her as a friend completely for now but later she will thank you.

hope that helped:)

friend #2:

do talk to him tell him you arent goign to let him get all jealous because he is only a friend nothing more,

tell him he is being crazy by crying ot his mom about it and hope he comes around!

hope that helped too!

Answer 4

Well for your friend with the drinking problem,I think that you should tell her all the things that you just wrote i think that she will understand and say that doing drugs are very dangerous and she could get hurt by them...and you don't want her to get hurt because you love her and she's your friend

Know for your guy friend...I think that you shouldn't of called him a "dumbass" even is you were just playing,because you might of thought that you were just playing,but some people take it serious...But tell him that the way he took things with you calling you a b**** was over the top...Also tell him that that was so disrespectful what he did to you while you where tying your shoe and if you knew that that he disrespected you, you would of slapped him,and that's what he deserves,but you do forgive him if he forgives you about the dumbass part.

Answer 5

1)  ( Long answer.. )

There is only so much you can do for someone.. I kno the same exactly feeling. I did everything for my friend, I was always there for her, all her problems and everything, let her move in to my house for awhile when she got kicked out of hers, and so much stuff... but when it came down to like me not agreeing on something she was doing, and trying to get her to see it for the best, because she is dumb and doesnt think about whats going to happen until it does, and its always turns out bad.. So i try telling her not to do it, but she doesnt listen and we get into a fight.. and it not over dumb things. it was over her letting some random guy she meet like 2 or 3 weeks before move in, and I just had this bad feeling cause he was into drugs and all that.. so i mean she was being so stupid... anyways turned out bad.. tried helping her, and I get blammed for it, and blah blah blah.. so its like no matter what you do even if you are always there for them, she is the type that is just like my friend and everything is you fault no matter how much you have helped them, and they dont even try to make things better, its always left to you. Im sure she is not even trying to get in contact with you.. its up to you to help her and try to be friends..  but i think you just need to let her figure things out, and let he realize what a great friend you are and how much you have done for her, otherwise she will keep using you like my friend did! She needs to be the 1st one to actually try and make things work between you two!

2)

I think you should try and talk to this guy.. you guys got into a stupid fight over nothing, so you shouldnt let your friendship go to waste. Im sure you both are being stubborn and dont want to be the 1st to say sorry but you should. You should talk directly to him and not his mom... like his mom doesnt have anything to do with your guys friendship. So you for sure need to work this one out!!

Answer 6

Hmm. For your friend that is on drugs, you'll have to proceed with caution on that.  I had a family member with a similar problem and she just drifted into her own world.  But I do think you should try and speak with her, let her know that you do care for her. A lot of times people like that think they're alone and no one cares about them so they don't care what they do with their life or what happens to them. Find out why she wants to fight you and what prompted this whole drug relapse. It had to be something.

And the guy, well, this one is rocky. I would stay away from him for a little while longer. Eight years is a long time but when a friendship goes bad it goes bad. And you must know the reason he's been around that long is because of his attraction for you. From what you describe of this guy he doesn't seem like he is trustworthy and a bit too jealous there. It seems like you've made it clear that you only want to be friends with him but he has an issue accepting that which is very unhealthy. Give it more time and then try to speak with him about the whole situation and perhaps you both can come to an understanding, but when you do that have your brother somewhere near.