Someone help please?! I am going crazy...?

Question

I have been in a 4 year relationship with this so called "woman of my dreams" , we have a three year old son together and lived together and shared our dreams and hopes together. Back in april, she acted ambivelent and nasty and eventually led a breakup in the end of april. She told she wanted freedom and explore New York City. I was devastated, upset, confused and everything else. She moved out pretty quickly and was just cruel and heartless. After friends have told me that by the speed of her move, you might wanna consider a third party. two weeks later, i went through her t-mobile plan, and i found out she was talking to a japanese guy since March, this guy she has met since Feb. I was upset, i was shocked and could'nt believe it. There were period of time when i was comparing myself to him and why she choose him and i guess she thinks he's more ïnteresting" That's unfair, i am younger and i wanted a stable life for all of us, i could've travel the world and played guitar and dance if i wanted to, but we had a kid. I went through so much pain and it is so unbearable. She showed up with him a couple of weeks ago to pick up my son. How can someone do this and hurt people like this? I've been in my house taking care of my son almost the entire summer. Cried and thought A LOT about what happened. It's as if our relationship never existed for her. My son and me don't deserve this, this is not the way my family should've went. I don't think i'll ever forget this. Now i am just trying to live everyday knowing this, how things have changed. It'll never be the same again :(. Can someone just help with a few words on moving on and advices on how to live life and hope again?

Another thing, what if she gets married to this kid, i would be so heartbroken, or am i just paranoid, i have a feeling she'll do that but why, im so confused. What a nightmare?!

Answer 1

You need to let go of what you lost, and build on what you could have.

I would definitely go set up child support and visitation NOW, before she gets married and decides to involve the other man into her decision making regarding the child.

Then I would start taking the child places, because there is no reason why you are supposed to be confined in the house when you have visitation.

When you are alone start going more places and doing more things.

Start meeting people and moving on.

Your depression has held you captive for too long.

It is not healthy to be this sad for this long.

Talk to a professional if you have to, but do not let her actions direct how you live.

Best wishes on a happier future.

Answer 2

Calm down...i know it's really hard, but time will heal everything...that is unfair what she did...u do not deserve that d**n! just think about you ur kid for right now...let her do whatever she wants obviously she didn't love u anymore...she is stupid...oh well life goes on! trust me you will find someone better than her!

GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 3

I’m very sorry to hear that. Like I say to everyone “things happen for a reason”. Just take it day by day, don’t rush into anything. And remember anyone can be your brand new love you just need to let them into your heart. I want to wish you and your son the best of luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

I was engaged and she left me for a convict that got out of prison in April. There are no words to help you I wish there were. The thing that I have discovered is young people (20-27 ish) dont know who they are. There is nothing wrong with you. You sound like a MAN a man that gave his all to his woman. She sounds like a scared little girl that has no idea what she wants in life. So as soon as a free, exciting and "dangerous" little boy caught her fancy she left. Its hard, its mind numbing and it leaves a horrible taste in your mouth. The only thing I can suggest is take it one day at a time. Concentrate everything you have on your son. He's the most important thing right now.

I dont think you should worry yourself about her marring. Chances are in a half year / year shes going to realize how stupid shes acting and try to come back. The only question then will be, do you except or not?

Good luck man

God the more I think about your situation the more it hurts my stomach. You have to hang in there for your boy. Do thing to occupy your brain. Read, ski, draw, do fun little projects with your son. I live with my nephew and we just starting watching the x-files so at work I made some FBI badges for us and we play x-files. Good times. Just have fun and raise your son. If your going to go on dates just do it for fun. Dont look for a "replacement" You'll just end up hurting you, your son and the other girl.

Im so sorry she did this. You'll find someone.