Someone in my life has changed and it upsets me. Help please?

Question

I dont know what's wrong with me I feel like I'm going crazy!! I basicly feel like I'm just pulling away from her. I almost feel like she's trying to get rid of me, but I know that's not the case...it just couldn't be...I know it's not. But like...should I try talking to her one day about, or nah? I almost feel scared because she seems to...not friendly. I dont know the word...

Answer 1

Having babies changes you.  They take all your time and energy.  But if you're away from them for a couple of hours, you miss them terribly and feel guilty for leaving them in someone else's care.  They're just taking up all her thoughts.

Answer 2

You can tell her whats wrong, or if you're too afraid you could possibly distance yourself from her and see what its like without her. You're going to have to leave the nest sometime, and a freshman in high school is a good time to start with new things, like new mentors, new friends, new life pretty much. If you don't want to give up on her just yet, keep trying to get her to realize that you're hurting. You can send her an e-mail saying that you couldn't resist, you missed her too much or something. It's not like she banned you from e-mails forever.

Answer 3

She might seem different face to face because she's busier than when she has time to sit down at a computer to write to you. After all she's raising twin toddlers and balancing it with a job at a high school. I'm sure it's nothing personal. She's most likely just stressed. If she's said she wants to continue your mentor/mentee relationship in person then I'm sure she values your company! Maybe if it's not too late you could tell her you want to go ahead and do the audition for her. It could be nice to have a person to practice in front of without it being a big deal if you mess up :)

Answer 4

Could you provide more details?  Just a few more paragraphs?

Answer 5

I wouldn't take it to heart. The woman just had twin babies, and believe me, that takes a lot out of you. I don't blame her for not being as "fun and funny" as she used to be. She's probably tired a lot. The babies demand all of her attention, which is probably why she wanted to stay home and raise them. Do you know how difficult it is to find a babysitter who will watch twins? So give her a break, and be understanding of what she is going through. Things and priorities have changed for her since having these babies. It is not something against you, so don't take it personally. Be understanding and supportive.

Answer 6

Well if she's not being as friendly to everyone that tells you it's not you.

Sounds to me like she's having personal problems; none of which you need to get involved in.  I know how you feel.  Just pray for her, that's  really all you can do.  Pray for yourself too: Jesus is our comforter.

Answer 7

When peoples lives change ,sometimes,so do they. Perhaps she is trying to pull away from you because she feels that she can't give you the attention she used to.Having twins is a huge responsibliity.  Having babies also affects your mood and behavoir (baby blues). Maybe she doesn't know how to communicate her feelings because she is equally as dissapointed as you are by not being able to have the same life as she had before the twins were born. Admitting to that out loud would mean she is "defeated" by her situation. Give her some time to get her feelings, emotions, and new life in order.Speak to her in a kind way when you see her and always smile. This will give her one less thing to worry about and she will be proud of you.

  Besides you are growing up and high school relationships with teachers are much different than middle school ones. She is really protecting both of you from the lies and deceptions of the grown up world. Give her time to get over the baby blues and move on . There are so many wonderful things to experience in life. Don't miss them worrying about what's not happening,look at all thats going on around you and try something new. You won't die if you don't succeed, just try something else.

   One thing i know about you is that you have courage - Asking a question like this on this site can leave you open for all kinds of abuse. lol. Don't put your trust in people. They may let you down. If you belive in God ask for help, if not search within yourself for strength and ability. I recommend doing both. I wish you the best.

Answer 8

First of all, you're not "going crazy".  What's happening here are a number of things ... first, hormones.  She's just had twins and her hormones are all over the place --- her life is incredibly stressful now and the fact that she intended to take a few years off work to care for the children but is now back working only adds to her stress.  She has many, many hours of work to put into preparing for her classes - then there are meetings with other teachers and the principal - and there is the school schedule ... on top of her relationship with her husband and her children and likely her parents and of course, she's got a life with friends and family.  Trying to balance all of that is an almost-impossible task.  Your friends say she "seems different and not so friendly".  

That will hopefully help you realize that it's not you --- she's not different just with you.  But, she is different.   And you know what - so are you!   I'm a high school teacher who has taught all grades and there can be a huge difference in students between elementary/middle school and high school.  There are a lot of reasons for that and hormones which can cause a lot of tears and anxiety and introspection (which seems to be happening to you) is a primary reason.

Here's what I'd suggest --- that you go and speak with the school counsellor about all of this (in confidence) and listen to the wisdom that is already within you.  I think you know deep down that the birth of her children has caused a change within her - and I also think you know that her response to you is because she's an excellent teacher who is trying to help you "come out of my shell... and need to learn to communicate in other ways than just on a keyboard."  

Be grateful she was in your life the way she was in your past - and now move on.  Let her be your teacher - and don't have expectations of a relationship beyond that ... or have thoughts that her response to you is personal.  It's not.  

You need to focus on being the best student you can be, on your schoolwork, your family and friends and she needs to focus on being the best teacher she can be, her family and friends.  

She's helping you grow up ... and while it may be painful, she's giving you an incredible gift.  I hope you accept that gift and move on into adulthood.  ;-)   Good luck!