Someone please read and answer!!!?

Question

ok well first of all my dad just passed away may of this year and i am fifteen years of age.....my grandparents are fighting a lot and hate each others guts.....my aunts mom is like a drug addict and an alcoholic and my aunt has my two year old cousin while my aunts mom is staying with her....i havent seen my dads family since the funeral....it is possible that my former step mom killed my dad by switching pills in who knows how many pill bottles.....i am so depressed from my dad dieing i cant eat i cant sleep and when i have fun or something i feel guilty for doing so.....even after 5 months all of this is still going on and ppl said it would get better after a while but it hasnt and i am having suicidal thoughts ever since my dad died and i just dont know wat to do anymore i am filling out forms that a grief counsiling place has givin me but all the questions just bring back bad memories and it makes me even more depressed than i am.....i have asked some questions like this before but i still dont know how to deal with all of it and me and my dad were as close as father daughter can get.....it makes me wonder how much my family actually care about me because if they really cared they would stop fighting and try to help me......by the way my mom and dad are divorced and they hatd each other and i have a ten year old sister to look out for and i just cant be strong for her much longer.....please help i need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

you need to get those forms filled out that the councillor gave you and get some grief councilling ASAP

Don't worry about the other's around you - they are adults and can figure out their own problems.  Ask the councillor if your little sister can have councilling as well

Answer 2

Families who get all of this kind of craziness going on are not making normal rational decisions and they are not doing the things good/normal families do to give young people the things they need to grow up well.  You should at least know it's not intentional, it's just not possible under all of the conditions you describe.  Now the question is, are you going to use all of this to make you a better person and stronger by reacting against the tone the family has set, by reversing the trends and behavior in your own life so that your own future life is not like this, OR are you going to just let it defeat you and drag you down?  It's up to you.

Answer 3

Where is your mother dear? You did not mention her except in the divorce. Is she not a part of your life now or are you living with your extended family?

As sad as death is, it is final. It does hurt and you can hold onto the hurt of the loss or you can let the good of the person you lost live within you and help make you a better person for having had the chance to love him and be a part of his life.

It has onlt been 5 months. I think it took me a little longer to relaize that by me holding onto the hurt of my father's passing was making me sick. It was making me walk backwards instead of forwards. I realized how I was affecting those around me because I was angry and miserable.

Then I realized that he left me too much to work with in my own life to let his passing stop me from moving on with my life and becoming a better person for loving him as long as I did.

There is good in all bad.

Answer 4

its ok to still feel like this even after 5 months. there are a whole series of different stages after a death that usually lasts a year varying from person to person. its ok to grieve but just think about how sad your dad would be if he knew you felt this way because of him. you know he loved you and always will but you cant change the past. the best you can do for now is talk to your family, tell them how you feel and ask if they could put aside their problems to help you because of the way you have been feeling. if they loved you then they would help you. if they dont help you then try to contact your dads side of the family and see if you can stay with them

Answer 5

Take a breath.  Your father dying is horrible.  Those other people were wrong, you will never get over this.  Here is my advice: live for your dad.  You see my dad also dyed when I was 17 years old.  We were very close and I was devistated.  I am now 24.  I still cry when I remember certain things, I still miss him.  Try to remember the things that are important to your dad and do them.  An example is I go to my grandparents house many times during the winter and shuvle there driveway for free.  I tell them it is a gift from my dad, because I know if he were alive he would do it.  I went to collage and got a good job as a nurse, because I know how bad he wanted me to succeed.  Your dad would not want you to harm yourself.  I know that things seem difficult in your family right now, but my advice is to focus on school, and advise your sis to do the same.  Get an education so you can get a good job you love and be more successful than your family.  Things are tuff now, you need to grow thick skin and take these challanges head on.