Someone stole my dong. Where do I go to file a complaint?

Question

Someone stole my dong. Where do I go to file a complaint?

Answer 1

You have to lodge a formal complaint with the Ministry of Dong Protection which is next to the American Embassy.

They will then launch an investigation to see which one of the villagers is using your lost dong as a lawn ornament.  Dongs are a very precious commodity in this town.

Answer 2

Punky's straddling it and screeching at it to go faster. She thinks it's a rickshaw driver. And she's nekkid.

Answer 3

I think you mean "dog."

PS Are you coming to the barbecue?

Answer 4

I don't think complaining will do you any good, but you can check the roadside meat cart if you really want it back...

Answer 5

I thought you said someone stole your bong.

I am opening up a small head shop downtown.  There will be heads (shrunken.  Traded from the village upstream for real authentic made in mexico bongs) and bong supplies.  

The locals KNOW a thing or two about growing mean green.