Someone who drinks too much?!

Question

I have a new friend who has had an aorta surgery at one point. He has a VERY stressful job (fireman) and he drinks like a fish after work about 5-6 times a week. I mean like a whole pitcher of beer. Is that bad for his already crappy heart? Did the surgery correct it for good? I want to stuff broccoli down his throat and throw him on a treadmill. I am so worried about him but don't have the guts to tell him that I worry yet. We've only been seeing each other for a month. What do you think?

Answer 1

The fact that he had surgery doesn't mean he is safe from unhealthy habits but it's impossible to change someone if they don't want to change. You might try dropping some hints, like giving him a related article to read. Perhaps you can also influence him by example.

Answer 2

Well it is bad. But you need to ask this question on the Algoll board and not on the non alcohol board.

Answer 3

Yeah it's bad for his heart - but you can't change him if he doesn't wanna be changed. Sorry!!

Answer 4

No, thats not good. The surgery didn't fix him for good. My uncle had to have heart sugery, and after he had to quit drinking like he used to. I mean, a glass of wine or a bottle of beer isn't bad. But going out and getting drunk, like with the whole pitcher of beer, thats not good.

Best I can tell you is try to make his life less stressful, that way he doesn't have to turn to the alcohol. But also, consider the work involved in this relationship. It's not your responsibility to be someone's savior, so think about how much you really like this guy, and if you really wanna put in the work for this. I mean, after only a month, this is kindof a big hit.

Maybe introduce him to AA. But if all else fails, just go on walks with him after work.

Trust me, my sister knows about this kind of thing. Her husband is a fireman too, and they have 5 kids (quadruplets a year ago). Now they are having all kinds of stress with remodeling the house, not enough space, not enough money, theres all kinds of things. So yeah, they'll each have a beer at the end of the day after the kids are down. But before that, they just go on a walk. They pay the neighbor's 14 yr old daughter $10 to watch the kids for an hour, and they just go on a walk together. Enjoy everything. Very relaxing, and it gives them a chance to really get to know eachother better, talk about everything.

So that would be my best advice to you. Try and get him to go on walks with you when he's off work, just in the evenings so its a bit cooler. Great time to really get to know each other. And it keeps him away from the beer.

Answer 5

Tell him how you feel and that you are concerned about his health. My mother had a corroded artery in her neck and had to get surgery then she had a small heart attack then we found out she had Cirrhosis of the liver and she passed away 2 years ago. Please tell him before it gets really bad.

Answer 6

Well, he has to be the one to make the changes. I sounds like he is drinking like that to temporarily relax and not think about the stress of his job and his heart.....I would want to stuff broccoli in his mouth too. Alcohol in that quantity every night isn't good for anyone, especially someone with a history of heart problems. Alas, all you can do is lead by example and maybe lure him away from the pitcher of beer in favor or something with a more positive return?

Answer 7

Yes that would be pretty bad

but if you want to keep him alive

then you should tell him to limit it

down and that would be better