Someone who gives good advice, please help.

Question

Yahoo! Answers is my last resort. Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been going out about 8 months now and things seemed to be fine until about last month. For the first 7 months, yeah, we had a couple petty disagreements but nothing we couldn't get over in a day. I mean everyone disagrees, right ? Anyway, after our 7th month, things seemed to go downhill. We'd have good weeks and bad weeks, but it seemed more bad days than good. We argue and sometimes I don't even know what's wrong. Other times, it's just dumb stuff. We both agree all the time that the fighting sucks & we hate it & want it to go away, but it won't. I mean, we will have a good few days & things seem much better but the next day things just drop and go downhill again, then a day or two later, things perk right up again. We both agree we want to make things better and make this relationship last, but how ? What types of things could we do to patch up the rough spots ? Is this just a phase in a relationship that people normally go through ?

Answer 1

okay so most likely he is wanting something and just hasnt told you. like if you havent had s*x maybe thats it. or he wants you to send him flowers. maybe its the other way around too. like you cant communicate that you want him to be romanitc. or that you want him to touch you. that type of thing. you should just ask him what has been on his mind. or tell him what is on your mind

you too could just be wrong for eachother. im not saying you are. but be careful guys are a**es

Answer 2

Every relationship has its ups and downs so get used to them. Every couple argues over something, sometimes small or large. An argument does not signal that a relationship is over although it is a good signal that there are underlying problems if a couple argues constantly and over everything. Take your arguments as friendly discussions used to make ones point and leave it at that. Leaving or storming out are only theatrics used when someone doesnt get their way. Ive even known couples who argue just so they can make up afterwards. Arguing in a relationship is healthy so long as it doesnt get out of control

Answer 3

I don't know what your problem is but have you thought of splitting up for a few days and thinking it through?  I don't mean for a month, but just for a few days.  Go visit someone.  Then think why it is you argue, figure out if this is something that can be fixed or not.  If not, then you need to think about making the parting permanent.  You will have a long life of fighting if you don't.  Believe me, I've been married nearly 39 years now.  

Answer 4

no, it's no phase although your far from alone.

    I think your dealing with the "real relationship", when everyone starts showing their real selves.

    The "honeymoon" period, when you first met and were on your best behaviors is over. Reality is kicking in, this happens in every relationship.

     One would have to know a whole lot more about the both of you to give advice on this situation, they would have to see the relationship in the works.

      Like, if the problem is, one is in a bad mood and takes it out on the other or the other doesn't know when to keep their mouth shut, thing like that. One needs more than a one sided point of view.

      Get some books on relationships, as your the one who's best at judging the problems here.

       I suggest the books because of the different idea's it can give, you need more than just advice, you need to see the "whole picture".

       But it is at this point in a relationship, that tests whether a couple will survive as a couple or not, whether one or both can and will make the effort to go the distance.

Answer 5

the possible problems and possible resolutions:

you guys might be spending too much time together and its catching up with you.. if you spend too much time around anyone or anything you need a break sometimes. normally when you find yourself arguing with someone alot more than you're used to; thats the issue.

avoid saying things/ doing things that will start up a fight and redirect the conversation when something might come up

try going out and doing something new and exciting instead of the same old things you normally do.. that could bring excitement and more things to talk about

if i think of more i'll post again

but in the mean time i hope that helps.

good luck

Answer 6

I think you need to figure out why you're fighting. You should know because you're both doing it and you know you're doing it. What happens before a fight? When do things get heated? It might be a certain topic that sets you two off or something else.

It is possible that this is the end of the relationship. It happens. They don't all last forever.

Answer 7

maybe theres other things worrying you both. like money or a house or something

Answer 8

I don't know about good advice,, but what you are going through is some thing that all couples go through sooner or later,,,, Most probable cause is the lack of communication  and not wanting to lose the arguement,,,,,, You both want to have the last word and settle the arguement on your terms and not your partners,,,,,  My solution to the problem is to smile and walk away for a while,,, then after we both calm down ,, try,, to sit down and discuss what the real problem is,,, It is a complete suprise when you discover that what you are argueing about has nothing to do with want the reall problem is,,,, Problems at work,, lack of self esteem,  . Being put down by others and then come home and try to put your spouse down trying to make them feel as badly as you do,,,   So many reasons,,,, And the only way to resolve the problem is to talk about them    I said TALK  ,, not argue,,   Do not accuse the other of what they are always doing wrong,,,,, DO talk about what YOU do wrong and how you feel       All I got for you    Good Luck  and hope this helps