Someone who has watched BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

we had to write an analytical essay at home about bend it like beckham by gurinder chadha and here it is:

Introduction

The movie Bend it like Beckham by Gurinder Chadha is a great way of providing the audience to see religion, stereotypes, and even soccer in a whole different way. This essay will explain how Gurinder Chadha encourages the audience to cheer for Jess in this film. This topic is a great way of delivering a clear message about each character, for instance, Mrs. Bhamra. We learn that Mrs. Bhamra is a lady that sticks to her religion and will do anything for her daughters to get married. When Jess decides that she wants to play soccer instead, she gets angry. The first paragraph in this essay will be about how the dialogues and expression for each character makes the listeners want to immediately take Jess’s side.

i havent finished yet. if so if you could tell me what needs fixing up and what you think about it and what grade you would give me that would be great!

Answer 1

personally i think ur first paragraph is a bit too detailed. Your intro needs to be generalized. My first line would be : "The movie Bend it......bla bla bla.........  is a great way of showing public perception of religion and stereotypes towards the game of soccer"   The general bit would be something like "the movie focuses on an Asian girl who comes from a family with such and such a religion and believes she can be successful playing footie, however her mom/family etc have strong religious belief and would rather see her daughter get married as a direct result of her cultural.religious background"

Later on you go on to explain what impact this has etc on her and how she is split between the two (family and her ambitions). In your next paragraph you then start picking out specific characters in the movie to further explain the stuff u mentioned in ur first paragraph. To conclude ur essay:evaluate what you think the purpose of the movie is and what was done good together with what was rubbish.

hopefully that helps

Got to say in my English lessons we learn't about Shakespear, give it a few more years people will be writting about Shrek !!

Answer 2

The introduction should tell the reader what the paper is going to be about.  You sort of did that, but you've started to explain too much of whats in the movie in the introductory paragraph.  Perhaps you should describe what the movie is about starting in the second paragraph.  In the introduction tell the reader what they will be reading about without going into all the details yet.