Something is very wrong... please help...?

Question

I am so lonely. So sad. People constantly ignore me. There is always someone better... someone called their "best friend". I am always merely a friend. When I am around friends, I am very kind and trustworthy. They don't know how broken I am to hear "thanks for being a friend, but here is my best friend.".

Every summer, I am forgotten since school isn't in. No visits, no phone calls... nothing. It always seems like they are with someone though. Always making plans, but why am I never part of them? Now I am SO angry. I am so angry that I was the best person that I could be, and I was taken advantage of. I am so broken now, but they see through it.

Sometimes I just want to kill them. I just want to kill these people to let them know that I exist, and this is what they have done to me. They have killed me. I am numb.

I am going to college in a few days, and I'm worried that this will happen again. I have lost all confidence and happiness that people probably will not see me as worthy anymore.

Help.

Answer 1

I feel exactly the same as you.  I'm not actually my best friend's best friend...  It's my summer holiday now and I've been trying to arrange things for weeks with 'friends' but they just let me down every time and so I haven't actually done anything yet.  I always put other people before me and when I want one thing in return it's too much to ask.

So anyway, we need to try more people I guess.  Try ignoring everyone who has let you down and talk to different people at your college who you haven't made an effort with before.  That's what I'm going to do.

PM me if you want.

Answer 2

My best friend is going away to college and i am  very afraid of being alone that ill make friends but not good friends and i realized im going to have to make an effort to keep up with them

Answer 3

everything will change in college...don't focus on it so much. trust me, my friends in school were all douchebags and I have a whole set of friends that didnt go to my school. some of my friends are from other states that i met here in new jersey. Just relax and stop with the killing people bullshit talk. That is dumb and not cool to say...don't sweat it...trust me, you'll do just fine...if you ever have just 1 good friend in your life that you can call a true friend, feel lucky....sometimes we can have dozens of friends but out of that dozen, we're lucky if there is 1 good one out of that crowd that won't s***w you over or do you dirty or talk bad about you and will be there for you no matter what...so just chill and relax and stop obsessing over this nonsense...trust me, as you get older, you'll realize how un important your issue is right now...I know it sounds cold hearted of me but I am trying to give you an honest answer and I am trying to be straight up with you....don't worry about it..you'll find a good person you can call your best friend...stop looking for this person..just let it happen as it may....

Answer 4

If it makes you feel any better, I haven't contacted my friends all summer (although I chose not too :\).  You can't let people get to you like that.  Don't let other human beings be such a big deal to you.  Don't let yourself be forgotton, be the one that everyone wants to be with.  You can't achieve that by being so desperate to be someone's 'best friend'.

Answer 5

Honey, you sound like you are really depressed.  You need to tell your parents how you are feeling.  I've been there, I know.  You need to let your parents know now, because with the big change you have coming up, starting college, it may make things worse.  Please tell someone...medication can sometimes make a world of difference.

Answer 6

My main concern is that you are already anticipating that your situation will be the same at college. That is self-defeating behavior. People can get better as the years go by, so can you.

   I'm only guessing, but I wonder if you're too serious and just no relaxed and "fun" enough.

   Is there someone you know who could use you as their best friend? I'm sure there is, reach out to them.