Sometimes I feel as if I just can't take my kids in public!?

Question

I have an 8-year old girl and an *active* 6-year old boy. When we are in public, they have total disregard for my warnings, because they know that Mommy won't spank them in public.

We were at a sports store the other day, and my 6-year old was running down the isle. I told him to WALK here, and he ran - into the clothing racks!!! So when I finally got my hands on him (everyone is staring at this point), I grabbed the hair behind his ear and escorted him out of the store. I was deathly afraid that someone would call the police on me.

I don't hit my children. If they REALLY mess up, they have a talk with Dad in the bathroom about what they did wrong, what they could have done better, and then they get a spanking. After the spanking, they talk some more about reprocussions and that they aren't BAD kids, they just make BAD decisions.

I don't know what to do when we're in public. I've left entire grocery carts in the isle, because "when it's time to go, it's time to GO".

Answer 1

One idea I've heard of when going grocery shopping is to make like a bingo card for them with items to find in the store so it keeps them occupied.  They are probably just bored going shopping, as most kids are, but there is still no excuse.  If you are with your husband in the store, take them to the car if they are being naughty and sit in the car with no radio and no talking.  Obviously it is not right to hit any child, I don't disagree with spanking as long as it's just a light tap, but you can't do it in a store.  Yes it may make a scene but who cares?  you'll never see those people again.  They need to learn somehow.

Answer 2

i don't create a safe place for my boy i will spank him no matter what we are doing or where we are  in the store in the library    if you take them out  and away from public view then you tell them that it is OK to act like that in public  and will continue to act that way  don't give the a safe place  spank there butts  right there  no matter where you are they'll learn

Answer 3

why dont you wait on shopping until dad gets home or drop them off at a relatives while you run your errands

Answer 4

Honey I could tell you a story on that one , but I won't. My children are the same way. I never take them out in public because they always(never fails) embarrass me. Mine don't care wheher or not you scream ,threaten or even choke them J/K, they still keep running. We can go inside a store and they strike out to running all around the store, then when you find them, they think you are playing hide and go seek! I have 5 kids so you can just imagine that one! WhatI do is I wait until we get home and I take away anything favorite of theirs until they learn that they can't run around inthe store. But I'm gonna tell you this, they  are kids and no matter how much we tell them to do something, they have to learn it on their own. your best bet is to do what I do: leave them at home. If you can't then start setting rules before you leave the house, put them inside of the buggy, kind of like prison; (that's what my 5 year old calls it) When I put them down off in the buggy , they have less chance to get away. If you don't hae access to a buggy, then bring somebody along with you to help. Kids don't like it when there are 2 people glaring at them, they are bound to break at any moment like that. If all this doesn't work, maybe you should try spanking them as soon as they get home and forget the talking; sometimes it's not what we say but rather what we do that makes an impact on our children. Good Luck, hope this helps!

Answer 5

Don't go shopping with the 6 year old till he's 8.

Offer a reward if he is good.  Give him tons and tons of positive attention.  I do something called kiss attack where I pin him down and kiss the heck out of him.  

I laughed out loud to the diciplining in the bathroom.  That is kind of weird.  Does your husband say--now take a dump!  lol just kidding.

Answer 6

They are testing you and pushing you to the limit. Keep doing what you're doing. I think all parents have left groceries in the middle of the store before :) I know I have.

My son is 4 and he's done some of the same stuff to me. Before we leave the house I remind him that I expect him to behave and do as I ask. I remind him that he likes going out to dinner, shopping, etc and then I ask him what will happen if he doesn't follow my rules. I want to hear him say it so I know he gets it. He understands that I will not hesitate to drop everything and drive home.

I used to be more wishy washy on this one because if I planned a trip out of the house the last thing I want to do is go home before I'm ready. You've got to let it go and use it as a teaching experience for your kids. My son gets one warning and that's it. If I threaten to leave but never do then I'm teaching him that my rules don't really matter.

Be consistent and they'll get come around.

Answer 7

Give them Punishments like make them clean the house or next time they want to go somewhere say NO!

Answer 8

It sounds like you're at least on the right track.  You have consequences which is good.  Many parent's forget this part.  They will give threats but never follow through.

While you're still in the car tell them what you expect of them.  Once you enter the store, ask them to repeat your expectations to you.  Keep a lollipop or something in the car.  Tell them that once you leave the store everyone will get a lollipop IF everyone is happy once the shopping experience is over and if they both behave up to your expectations.  

Remember to tell them what to do.  It sounds like you're doing that too, which is good. "...I told him to walk"  Always remember to tell the kids what you want them to do.  If they are always hearing 'no, don't, not' they don't quite grasp what it is they are supposed to do.

Anyway, I hope I've been able to help a bit.  Good Luck.

Answer 9

I know you've already gotten a lot of advice, but I figured I'd answer anyway. First thing I'd do is stop taking them to the store. If that's the only way you can go to the store, try waiting for your husband to get home and then go. Not taking them is like them losing a privilege. They probably love acting up and tantalizing you in the store because they know you wont do anything about it. Taking that away from them is something they wont be happy about. Give it a while and let them know why you aren't taking them anymore and maybe they'll stop acting up. If they do act up, take them to the car and spank them there. If you feel uncomfortable about that, wait until you get home, but don't just leave the disciplining to your husband.

I haven't gotten to the problem you're having yet, my two kids are only 2, but hopefully everything works out, and don't be afraid to discipline, even if it may seem too harsh.

Answer 10

sorry but they sound bad. my daughter got one spanking in the last year and has not needed one since. i talk to her, i show her respect, i dont yell over every little thing (it looses the effect after a while), i explain why she cant do things, and i ground her when she is bad. i dont wait for my husband to have the talk, i can have a talk with her and then she'll have another talk when he gets home. she's 8, i hope this helps.

Answer 11

The age old dilemma.

Don't worry about what people will think...grab something heavy and sharp and hit them hard with it...only joking...

We always try to keep our occupied, games, I-spy, even bribe them with treats if they're good...but seriously, anyone that has had kids knows the pain you're in, only a total b*****d would call the cops on you.

Answer 12

I have never agreed with the " just  ait until your father get's home!" method you seem to employ. It just teaches the kids that the father is deserving of a respect that you are not. Obviously they have learned that you are not going to punish them, but Dad will. I am willing to bet, that when you and Daddy are together with the kids, they are more well behaved.

You need to show your kids that you mean business also!!

Good luck.

Answer 13

You need to make sure that when your kids act up in public like that they do get disciplined when you get home by you, not just your husband. I agree that isn't appropriate in public, but it does need to be done. It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Just make sure that you are consistent with your discipline. That's the only way to teach them proper behavior. Good luck to you. I wish there was a simpler answer to help.

Answer 14

By the ages 8 and 6, they really should know better.

You need to give them something to do. Give them a list of things they need and when they find it, place it in the trolly and tick it off.

I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old, and I used to do the list (with pics as they couldnt read) and now they dont need the list and even crack it if I dont hold their hands

Answer 15

Don't you just wish they came with manuels!! Something that might help...Tell them before you leave that you will get them an ice cream cone or whatever you choose for a treat, if they behave in the store or where ever you are going...if they behave they get the ice cream..if not. Eat one in front of them.  This does work.  They realize mom means it.  I have done this to my kids. It works.  At the age of 6 & 8.  It will work...whatever they cherish...candy, ice cream, a toy.  But choose something you can do in front of them if they misbehave.  Also letting them know that they will get in trouble once you get home too. Then, follow thru.  If you don't they know you don't mean it.

Answer 16

I would tackle it from another tact.  I am sure that you take them fun places too like the park or for ice cream, etc.  By 6 and 8, you are certainly old enough to understand proper behavior in public.  

I would tell them that for place that you have to leave due to their behavior, that's one less place that they will go.  For example, if you plan to go to water park on Tuesday but they are wild in the grocery store on Monday, there's no trip to the water park.  And not delayed for a few days or something.  No trip.  Period.

My guess is that once they start feeling the pain of denied pleasures, their behavior will improve.

In truth, right now you are giving them what they want - to leave the store and not be there.

Answer 17

Kids need SOME spanking these days! I'm not talking about beating them up but spanking and the ear thing you did...I mean they were acting up because they knew you couldn't do anything! Did you try threatening them like saying, "No TV if you do this blah blah!" or taking away their most favorite thing?

My niece is pretty naughty, she's 6. Her mom doesn't spank her, she just gets time out and she doesn't care for that. My other niece gets spanked a little when she's being really bad or yelled at and she behaves good. Of course, I know this isn't always the outcome.

LMAO go ahead and thumbs down me that's why all your guys' kids run around crazy  not listening! (not talkin to the poster)

Answer 18

no offense, but discipline is not child abuse. my sisters kids are out of control nad when i watch them, they behave because i dont take no for an answer. you cant give in too much. start putting your foot down. no means no. obviously your little talks arent very effective. i dont doubt that your a great parent, but you need to get control of your kids. start with little things. maybe try an award system. if they dont do what theyre told the first time stick them in the corner for 5 minutes. but discipline them the first time... dont crack. they get used to you saying dont do it again and putting off or avoiding punishment... and so on..

discipline is key. its not abuse.

hope this helps!!! :)

Answer 19

The only reason they do this a lot in public is because they know that they cannot do it at home, otherwise they will get a 'spanking'- my advice would be to stop spanking them at home so they may calm it down a bit in public ;]