Sometimes I feel like a bad parent/mother to my newborn? I get irritated w/her?

Question

but never ever would I act upon it its just when she cries so loud or jerks her head when Im feeding her or holding her as one of her reflexes (not bc she doesn't want 2 eat) I try to steady her head and I don't know sometimes I just feel so tired and then irritated with her then really guilty about it after ward. does this mean I'm a bad mother/ I love her VERY much but I am the main one taking care of her her daddy works all day and my family only comes 2 visit now and then. she is a month old.

Answer 1

Honey what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Any mother that tells you that they have never felt that way must not take care of there children themselves.  Don't worry you are not a bad mom.

Answer 2

No, it means you are tired and you need a break. The first month I had my son, I had a postpartum doula come to the house twice a week and watch my son so I could take naps.  

Answer 3

We all feel that way sometimes as a parent. You are not a bad parent. You are just going through the beginning stages of her life which are very demanding. She is learning how to eat sleep, grow,cry and learning it all from you and your husband. What a joy and honor. Try to focus on the good even it is something small like her smile, the flowers outside, a friend who calls that day, the nap you got. Even keeping a journal is helpful. Try to connect with other parents of young children where you live or see if your hubby or family can give you a small break. Take care. Congrats on your new one. I've been there and back. You'll do fine.

p.s. they grow up fast. soon, she'll be driving a car and it seems like you just blinked. someone told me a great idea to record on a calendar your child's milestones and just keep the calendars over the years. take care.

Answer 4

I hope that doesn't make you a bad mom, because then I would be one too!  My husband works, and I'm home with my son all day.  I'm the one that gets up with him overnight and sometimes I really truly honestly feel like I can't handle it.  I don't have any help other than my husband.  What family I have has not once offered to come over to give me a break, and I haven't asked anyone.  He's 8 weeks old, and it is better than it was in the beginning, but still very tough.  

Just try to get a break when you can!  Good luck, you'll get through it.  

Answer 5

NO you are not a bad mother but a tired on& lonely and scared one- Take it easy, ask a friend in when  all are away to be  with you, call up some friends for a chat - Babies can  be quite a handful and as you are a new mom you also are internally dealing with the trauma ( U may not recognize that now) but  its called post delivery blues- Give  yourself a break and  think good thoughts like how wonderful it will be when she is a few months older and starts to laugh  and  gurgle

Enjoy your baby , she  is worth more than  all others  

Answer 6

Honey you are not bad parent! These are normal feelings for a new mother. No one is a perfect parent, although most of us try our best! A bad parent WOULD act on these thoughts and take it out on her child. Besides, you have already said that part of your frustration results from your baby's father working all day and not seeing your family very often.. a bad parent would blame it all on the poor child!

You were so concerned about this that you posted a question online.. that right there proves that you are a good mother.

Don't worry honey, I promise it will get easier. You will get more and more used to the "inconveniences" of new motherhood.. we all do! Enjoy your bundle of joy! They grow up so quickly.

:o]

Answer 7

no way u are not a bad mum.  I have a 23 mth toddler and a 4 mth.  I get so irritated with both kids.  i don't have a solution except sleep when they sleep. To facilitate and help my 23mth sleep his one nap during the day i have resorted to sleeping or sitting on my bed with my other son so he settles easily and sleeps at the same time.  Also i have a energy drink - Volt which helps me!!!

I also make sure i leave the house each day - i go and by bread from the bakery and surf the aisle in the supermarket - it clears me head for an hour.

Good Luck.  

Ps the first is always the hardest. U will get there in the end.  we all go through the same thing but are reluctant to talk about it.....

Answer 8

you are not a bad mom.i know it is horrid but i use to yell at my daughter every now and then.when she was about 6 months.then i would cry.we all do it and trust me you will keep getting irritated.(she is now 11 months)we all yell once or twice and wonder how we could have been so cruel after wards.when i am getting frustrated with my daughter i put her in her crib out of the way so she can not get into anything then i walk out of the room and take a minute.that is the best thing to do.i am also a stay at home mom and my husband works 14 hour days so i get lonely and i feel like i need a break when he gets home!you will be ok and you are not a bad mom just put her in her crib, bassinet, or playpen and take a minute or 2 until you are calm.it really helps

Answer 9

your not a bad mother, just take deep breaths and know that she is only fussy or jerking around because she is still getting use to life. it will pass and you will miss those moments :)