Son 11 not doing his school work Daydreaming?

Question

please help me, My son taylor is in the 5th grade. I know that the 5th grade is harder and the kids are required to do things on their own, But my son goes to school and doesnt turn in his work....its done very sloppy unless you stand right over him...and he just doesnt care at all... He has had all his stuff took from him...games t.v. playing with friends The only things he is allowed to do is to go to school and church and do his chores and school work... I am at a lost we have promised him the world if he brings home good grades to no avail...please I need help before he fails. thanks guys

Answer 1

So you found out that bribing your son fails...gee.  You've taken everything away and it hasn't phased him?  That's what you get for handing him everything in the first place.  He obviously didn't have to EARN watching television or his games etc.  What is going to happen if he fails?  Do you think the world is going to end?  From what I'm getting is that you believe your child's failure in school is a reflection upon your parenting skills(?) and if he fails YOU will look like a bad parent.  You even say "I need help before he fails".  It's not about YOU.  It is about your son and lack of discipline in the home.  Bribing children to get good grades never works, besides what happens when he gets into college?  Are you going to be there bribing him to get good grades so he can graduate?  What about when he goes to work?  Are you going to bribe him there?  You've obviously haven't noticed that your son is in puberty...I guess some parents forget about that.

Answer 2

Try rewarding him when he does do his work. Verbal encouragements also should help. It wil be tough staying on top of this at first but in the long run I think he will progress.

Answer 3

Sometimes, children like this can seem to be almost hopeless. You should have him tested for A.D.D. attention deficit disorder. Which makes it hard for him to focus and stay on task. Try taking less things away and more rewards for good. The only thing i recomend taking away from your child is any gaming systems. Also, try hiring a tutor, or have a relative sit down with him every day for a half hour or so. As you, his parent, help him get organized. This helps a lot. and I mean organize everything room as well. Get some extra folders. Anything. It will help out! Also... this isn't a problem you can solve overnight..... It will take time, If not years before he realizes that he is hurting himself and he has to deal with it.

Answer 4

My husband and I are in the same boat with our 10 year old. The school says he's not struggling enough in the prescribed areas in order to qualify for help (tutoring). So we have had the year from h*lL because of it. He just seems overwhelmed at the littlest things and doesn't want to do the simplest of tasks. Everything seems overwhelming and yet here we are nearing the end of the school year. We too have promised and threatened and yet he continues to have to be pushed to get all C's. Last year he was an honor roll (all A's) student. I've spoken to many of my friends with boys the same age and they've experienced the same things.

Answer 5

How tough it is as a parent to see our children make bad choices and feel powerless. I can't give you a pat answer but I do have some questions for you.

Is he getting enough exercise? After a day of sitting, kids sometimes need to exert themselves before they can concentrate. Could you take 15-30 minutes and go for a walk with him? Or let him play outside for a little before starting the homework?

But even more important than the temporary ability to focus is the affect that outdoor time can have on one's feeling of well-being. Could he not care about grades because he feels depressed?

Is your family getting time to connect? Can you blow off the grades and love him for who he is before he's expected to get those grades? Could he be questioning your love for him?

Does he understand what poor grades mean? Has he met an adult who's working in a job they hate because they chose not to work hard as a child? Could you help him tour something like a factory where people work very hard for little pay or a fast food restaurant?

Is the school too full of stimuli for him? Is there so much going on in the classroom that he can't even think?

Is he eating foods that help him maintain an even blood sugar? Simple carbs like chips, soda, white bread, jelly, most regular cereals - these things cause our blood sugar to spike and then crash. This results in a lack of focus.

And if you are Christian, the Bible has a lot to say about God giving us talents and us throwing them away. I believe it is called "the parable of the talents". You could read this passage with him and discuss the gifts he has been given. You could ask him what he's doing to use them.

So I would suggest that if you aren't already doing these things,  you consider:

-feeding him a breakfast rich in fruits or veggies and protein. (a spinach omelet, blueberry whole-grain pancakes, granola on blueberries...)

- make sure he gets outside every day and gets to move

- limit tv, game and computer time so that he moves more and interacts with people more

- make sure your family gets to have fun together without behavior requirements

- touring a business where people work hard for little pay because they didn't get a good education

I hope this helps!

Answer 6

Then you stand over him and make sure it gets done right.  When children see that adults value education enough to invest time they get the message.  If you are not willing to take the time to force his doing the work and doing it well; then he gets the idea that it is not important.  This will take a while don't give up.  He is at an age where you will soon start losing your influence.  All of those other things will still be there later, but you only have this one chance to make a difference in his future.  Show him how much you care.  He should also appreciate the attention.  I believe things will change for you.

Answer 7

I have a 9 1/2 year old and he had ADHD and the teacher tells me that he spends some of his time daydreaming.  I am just wondering if he has been tested for that.  Does he understand the work that he is doing? Could he benefit from tutoring?  Is he bored, does he know the material too well and maybe he just isn't being challenged.  Is this a major change from years before? Are there kids at school that he has issues with?