Son's teacher is rude sometimes?

Question

My 9 year old son has been coming home from school seeming very depressed lately. He mentions to me that the teacher speaks to him harshly, in a sarcastic sort of way, but speaks kindly to other kids. She told him yesterday that he was going to get the lowest possible grade on his report card (I don't know in what and neither does he). He said she gets very close to his face and talks through her teeth like she's mad, but he doesn't know why. My son is a very kind hearted child. His main problems are getting easily distracted and not being able to follow verbal directions. How would you handle this situation? I've called the school and left a message asking for a meeting with the teacher but I'm still trying to figure out how to approach this without being totally accusatory and putting her on the defensive. I want to give the the benefit of the doubt because I have been a teacher and I know how stressful it can be, but at the same time, I can't allow my child to be hurt.

Answer 1

Just tell the teacher how your son feels in a non threatening way.  Let her know that you understand that he is 9 and may be misinterpreting the signals she is sending, but that is how he feels.  Try to find a way working with her to make sure he doesn't feel this way anymore.  Ask her if she has any concerns about him in class etc.  The best way to solve this problem is to do so with tact.  If that doesn't work and he is still feeling like she is doing this in a few weeks, then you will need to take more drastic steps like having him moved to another class or something.  In all probability the teacher probably doesn't realize that the child is feeling like she is being rude.  She may be able to remedy this very easily and quickly by monitoring her speech around him more.  Good luck, and remember you catch more flies with honey.

Answer 2

how is she rude plece tell

Answer 3

An all out attack on the teacher will be counter productive.

A productive approach the the situation, is to meet with the teacher, and possibly principal at the school for a meeting.   Acknowledge that their seems to be an issue, however you are unsure of what the causes are and you would like to open the lines of communication to come to a resolution.  Work with both the teacher and the principal, if necessary as if the teacher contacts you either via email or phone call if their is a situation with your child she is concerned about.  

As you know from being a teacher, getting easily distracted and not following verbal directions can be a huge stress for a teacher with an overcrowded class room.  She may be getting very frustrated.   This would be a good time to both work with her and give her some tips on how to handle your child's behavior.

Answer 4

Frankly, I am what I am because of the harsh words from my teachers.

I have to admit that even my mum gave me the harsh words herself.

I was angry when I could not solve my math's solution. My mum scolded my that learning was for my own future and anger would not help me at all.

I was not paying attention in the class since I already understood the concept. My maths teacher scolded me for being snobbish. And I determined to show her I could score A1.

I did not do my homework and was punished to standing in my class. And I studied hard myself to achieve A1 in the English language.

I asked my teacher on the courses to take in University. She advised me to take anything but medical course. I am now not any guy but a specialist.

So go and see the teacher but with an open mind. Your child might grow up be a better person and successful one.

Answer 5

I would talk to the principal of the school about it.

Answer 6

Just go and ask for her side of the story and get the facts.  If you are not satisfied with her answer or doubt her then go to the principal.

Answer 7

I just had a similar problem with my son's teacher.  He is 10, can be impulsive and is definitely distractable, but has a really big heart and is always looking to please.  He has never been defiant to any authoritative figure.  His teacher has called him 'ADD' among other not so nice things in front of the class.  Her behavior has made him literally sick to his stomach prior to her class.  I contacted the school psychologist first because I did not want to make the situation worse for my son in school, but I also didn't want this to continue to happen.

After a few meetings, the final outcome was a meeting with the teacher and having him moved out of her class.  I never confronted the teacher about the reason for the move because I cannot stand someone who disrespects my child and honestly would not have been able to be civil.  

The best advice I can give you is to stick by your child.  He's depressed for a reason, and if you can, talk to the teacher, see whats going on.  Otherwise, you need to go to administration.

Answer 8

u better get to noe whats going on before u point ur finger on others..but the teacher is kinda wrong to mock ur child..i think the best way is to unveil ur child's attitude..if he is really kind-hearted,then the teacher will be the 1 should be censure

Answer 9

your baby comes first. special treatment towards other children can really effect your son's self esteem. you need to put that mess to a screcching holt and report her immediately.

Answer 10

You have a very good attitude going into this. Being calm and non-confrontational at first. Go in with the attitude that you want to learn what is going on, not going in with an assumption about what happened. I would start with general questions about how do you think he is doing in school? Have you been having any problems with his attention span? You can move into the area where you  say, "Johnny tells me that he thinks he disappoints you." And then just be quiet.

See what she says. At some point you lay out what your son says and acknowledge that he has learning problems or attention problems. Tell her that you think that scaring him and treating him with disrespect will not help (if that is the conclusion you draw). Offer to help in getting him to do his best. Tell her that you will not let these personal attacks continue (if you feel that this is what actually happened).

Now, you need to figure out why your son has this problem because, regardless of the teacher, it sounds like he will be having problems. For example, my son's mind will wander if he is bored and it is hard to get his attention. But I have seen children who just cannot focus. You need to better understand the situation and help him get better.

Answer 11

I went through a similar situation. My son is now 20 and still is a knight in shinning armour. His teacher was consistantly rude. One problem I solved with a trip to the office and school administration. another I didn't. I wish I would have simply put him in another class so much now. It would have made a big difference. You do need to let your children understand that they will always meet hard, rude people in their life-learning to cope is part of growing up-but again, its their childhood too and you have to consider that.

Answer 12

u done great

just go for the meeting

good luck

Answer 13

As a teacher myself, I understand where you and your son's teacher are coming from. I'm glad you acknowledge your child's challenging behaviour during lessons.

Never let this situation escalate into a confrontation with the teacher. Rather, win her over by telling her that you are trying to 'help' her help your child during lessons. Provide a personalised set of visuals and place them on your child's classroom desk. Every time he is distracted, get the teacher to use the visuals to redirect him back to his task at hand. It helps that your personalised visual enforces a reminder for your child to stay focused.

And if your child has difficulty understanding a verbal message, ask the teacher to write out the message on a notepad. Some kids are more auditory while others are more visual.

Tell the teacher that you are with her and not against her. You'll see a change in her attitude after that!

Call for a meeting with the principal only after all efforts fail.

Answer 14

You are more patient that I am. I  would not call the school, I would go there and be nice. explain what your son has told you and of course the teacher will deny it.And ask for your son to be taken out of her class and be put with another teacher. instead of doing a he said/ she said I would simply say, I want my son moved from her class.

also, i would document dates that he would come home and say  things,and what he said.

Answer 15

You should talk to the principle, especially if it's really upsetting your son. It can't be right that she puts him down in that way.

Answer 16

Don't call...you go up there and find out what her problem is. I saw on GMA last week or so where a parent put a recorder in her childs backpack and when they got it back they heard the teacher calling them stupid and being mean. I would try to find out what her problem is. There is something going on if he's feeling that way.

Answer 17

have her fired

Answer 18

Talk to the principal, if you just talk to the teacher, it may not stop, only get worse.

Answer 19

Sit your child down, put the hot light on him and sweat it out of him. You know as a teacher she is not just picking on him, he did something and does not want you to know. When you talk to the teacher, find out what he did. Now I am not saying all teachers are always the best people in the world, but nine year old children that don't pay attention to the teacher is really going to get her upset.

Answer 20

"His main problems are getting easily distracted and not being able to follow verbal directions."

This would be distracting outside a special needs class.  Talk to the teacher and then determine who is actually right and wrong about how your son is being treated.

"I can't allow my child to be hurt."

IF and only if your child is a pain in the tush in class then you need to address the problem.  You can not keep, nor should you, your kid from being hurt it is a natural part of life.

Answer 21

OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!!!! YOU GET YOUR *** TO THAT SCHOOL STRAIGHT UP IN HER FACE AND SHOW HER NEVER EVER TO TREAT A CHILD LIKE THAT- ESPECIALLY YOURS!!!! THAT TEACHER SHOULD BE FIRED OMG! SPEAK TO THE PRINCIPLE. BE OFFENSIVE & AGGRESSIVE, THIS IS YOUR CHILD! WHAT A BITTCH!

Answer 22

You are right in requesting a meeting! Make sure it happens - and does so quickly. Include the principal if necessary.

Also know that children can exaggerate - not that I'm saying your child is lying - but I know my own daughter. Many times, she came home and said that someone was 'mean' to her. Upon investigation - it wasn't so much 'mean' as 'firm'. After telling her 4 times to sit in the chair - 'sit down now, or you can go to the principal's office' to a child is 'mean', but also appropriate. Just go in with an open mind - even if you know your child is 100% accurate, there are two sides to every story - that will help you stay objective so that it doesn't appear defensive.

Also, it may not be a bad idea to see if you can sit in class one day. Both the teacher and the child would be more 'cautious' with you there - but if there is something going on, they would most likely let their guard down by the end of the day - especially if you sat in the back, out of direct sight.

Good luck!

Answer 23

Just tell her your sons been acting differently lately and you were wondering if there was something going on in class that you aren't aware of ( act dumb) so she won't think he's been telling you all this stuff and make it even harder on him. Then see what she has to say and take it from there. you should be able to tell by her tone if shes putting up a front or not.

Answer 24

If you've been a teacher you know kids and that they don't always tell things exactly as they are.

I'd open by saying your concerned because he seems depressed when he comes home and can she think of anything that may be causing it  then, depending on her answers, lead up to his accusation.