Son almost never talks- need more advice?

Question

I asked this before, but I'm looking for maybe more advice. I can't do anything about my husband.

My son is going to be 10 soon and he suffers from a physical speech impairment. Whenever he says something unclearly in front of his father, my husband usually gets angry and tells him to "speak clearly or don't speak at all!"

In the last 1-2 years I've noticed he talks a lot less. And he hardly ever says anything in the presence of his father.

He's not an athletic boy (but not fat), and his teachers have told me that he has no friends and he never talks?

I don't want him to become a complete loner or never have any friends/relationships. And I want him to think that his thoughts/opinions are worthy of being heard

Answer 1

well your wasting your time, as long as your husband makes your son feel like dog c**p he will never talk, so if you think his life is worth it get your husband told

Answer 2

the problem, as you probably know, is not with your son, but with your husband. that's a whole other problem that you need to work out, for the sake of your son. how would someone with a difficulty possibly be able to get better if he never has any possitive reinforcement from his male role model? you have to explain to your husband that he is an important figure (if not the most) in your son's life, and thus he needs to help him overcome his difficulties, not make them more difficult. i understand that it may be difficult to deal with your husband, and thus easier to assume that you can fix it by only addressing your son's issue, but you have to understand that these things dont happen in a vaccuum, and that your husband (more importantly- his father) is a huge part of the issue. i suggest you talk to a social worker- thats my field, and i know that a good social worker would be able to address the issue on a larger scale than a therapist/speach therapist (who would only work with your son). take a more holistic perspective, and you will realize that your son is worsening most likely because of his father's reactions. had they been irrelevant, i doubt you would have mentioned your husband. think about it, and stop looking for the easiest way out. you are right to worry about your son, no one wants to see their child be lonely, so make it better now, before he hits puberty and gets even more socially awkward, better early than later. good luck

Answer 3

if you haven't already, make sure he is spending time with the speech therapist at his school.....if you can't do anything about your husband, make a point to have time alone with your son every day.....ask him open ended questions about the things you know he is doing or is interested in.....don't correct him or try to get him to say things more clearly, unless you have been specifically instructed to do so by the speech therapist...just let him talk and when he realizes that you aren't correcting him he will feel more confident in speaking to you.....over time (and with the therapy) he will also gain more confidence in speaking with others....Good Luck!!!!

Answer 4

continue to keep him in therapy and respect his uniqueness.  most people talk too much as it is.  our world is filled with noise pollution.  consider other options for his education.  public school isn't always the best.  if your husband verbally abuses the child, recognize the fact and get out of the relationship.  you can never "fix" an abuser.

Answer 5

I had a friend like that, and was always frustrated that he couldn't make the right words come out...So his parents put him in chorus...Something about singing is easier than talking...I don't know what exactly happens, but I just knew that when he sang, he could get what he needed to say out, without getting frustrated...Hope that helped

Answer 6

Wow.  It really hurts to hear this.  Boys need their father's love and support so much.  Before I married my husband, my son had a whole host of problems that I didnt realize that the influence of a man would help.  Your child needs a good healty influence.  I hate to say this but how do you allow this man to treat your child like this?  I know you love your child but that is exactly what he is, a child.  Love enough to make him your first priority if can not be a family priority.  Sorry.

Answer 7

First, your son needs medical evaluation to see what can be done for his speech problem, and he needs a planned program of speech therapy with a qualified speech therapist.  And you and your husband need to learn how to help your son.  The doctor and speech therapist will advise you.

How could you allow this to go on for so long without getting proper care for your son? And your husband's bullying is totally out of line and destructive.  And you let this continue while you watch your son deteriorate.  Your son needs therapy with a good counselor; your husband needs therapy for his bullying behavior; and you need therapy for your enabling behavior and ineffecualness.  You two are destroying your son with such callous and negligent behavior.

I know you don't like hearing this, but someone or something has to get you sufficiently outraged to get you off your fata$$ and do what is right here.  Your son is suffering and you know it.  Stop allowing this situation to deteriorate as you have for years now.

Answer 8

I think your husband is a bully and you need to tell him to stop it.  Have you considered that your son may be on the autism spectrum.  I think you should see your G.P. and ask their advice.

Answer 9

You sound like a great mother for asking!

My son is now 13, and he did not even really begin speaking until about 5.  I took him to UCLA and had him checked.  He saw a Speech Therapist, but they did not know why he was a late bloomer.  From the ages of about 6-12 he spoke but not really stuttering, just kind of mind got ahead of his mouth.  He has gotten better, but he is still not a big talker.  But he does speak more clearly now.  Try to get him to read out loud.  This helps with his skill.  Good luck and the best to you both!

Answer 10

its your husband that's making it worst.all your husband is doing is being mean and you need to tell your husband he is not helping but making it worst.it doesn't sound like your husband loves your son at all.no father treats there son so rude.i am glad my husband plays and talks with my 15 month old and never treat's him with hate.my 5 year old has autism and she never talks and still my husband doesn't make rude comments.your husband is a*****e!!!the sad thing about this question which you asked again and still got the same answers but you don't get it!every answer here agree its the husband who is to blame,but you still don't get it!what you can do about your husband is divorce him,its not hard!

Answer 11

From what you say, it sounds like there is a major issue with the father.  You need to speak with him about his actions.  His father should encourage communication and not discourage it.

Have you put him through speech therapy?

Answer 12

turning emo maybe got it from someone

Answer 13

I think you need to have a talk with your Husband as treating your son in this way will having contributed greatly to him not talking, especially in his fathers presence. I don't understand why your husband would say such thinks to him when he knows that his son suffers from a speech impairment, instead of saying those things to him he should be more patient & re assure his son & try to help him with his speech.

Tell him that you value his opinions & thoughts & assure him he can express them to you, just keep re assuring him & praising him when his speech improves.  He may be afraid of being teased or bullied at school because of his speech so chooses not to talk.  I'm sorry if i seem to be putting your husband down but i think it may have stemmed from there, your son may think that if he gets that reaction from his own father when he speaks then how is other people going to treat him.  Speech therapy may help him & boost his confidence.  

Being a parent is difficult at the best of times so it becomes almost impossible when our children have problems, you obviously care for your son a great deal and i wish you the best of luck and happiness & hope you find a light at the end of the tunnel. xx

Answer 14

Hon, you CAN do something about your husband. Seek counseling or something. Your son doesn't want to talk because he is embarrassed. Whenever he tries, his dad belittles him. He's hurting inside, and scared to try and talk because he might get yelled at. I would highly suggest counseling. I can GUARANTEE if your husband agreed and he was more patient and understanding, your son would open up and be changed. If your husband refuses to go to counseling and doesn't want to make the relationship right with his son, than maybe you could go on Dr. Phil or something. (In all seriousness). Maybe he has an anger problem. Of course if all else fails, get a divorce. Your son doesn't deserve that. After all, it's not his fault that he suffers from a speech impediment, and you deserve a happy loving family. I will keep you in my prayers, God bless.

Answer 15

well his father is being a bad influence on your son. your son needs all the help and love he can get if he wants to make friends. try to explain this to your husband or warn him that there might be consequences.  either your husband is messed up or he doesnt know how to handle what your son is dealing with. try to help your son make friends and put him in classes if he needs them. try not to let your son feel different from everyone else. try to make him feel as if everyone loves him and they want to listen to him. good luck!

Answer 16

Wow, I think for you son you may have to live apart from Dad.  Does your son have speech therapy because even  physical impairments can improve with therapy, at least so I thought.

I would have friends over when your husband is not around, and consider counseling, for you and hubby.  If hubby will not go then for you -- and perhaps for your son.

If your hubby can not come to terms, and be the adult and stop tearing down his son, you should seriously consider living elsewhere where it would be a positive encouraging place for your son.  Prasie your son when he talks, take him for ice cream, a donut, etc, and really try to talk to him.  There are websites with conversation starters, I would check some of those.

Good luck.

Answer 17

i think you really have to do something about your husband as well. its crucial.

Answer 18

Try engaging him in conversation with you (when your husband is not in the room). Ask him how is day went, talk to him about his favorite TV show, read together, etc. The more you engage him, even if it's not with his peers, the more he is going to practice what he learns both in school and in speech therapy (I'm assuming he does this right?).

As for your husband, I don't mean to sound rude or prying but that's completely unacceptable behavior. You need to at the very least speak to him about your feeling on how he degrades your son. You two need to be both on his side at all times to build confidence and encourage speech. Go to a family counselor if necissary but please you need to confront him about his deplorable treatment of your son before it permanently damages him.

Answer 19

your husband is obviously the problem.  seek some family counseling, maybe some speech therapy?  That's an awful way for a father to talk to his son though, and as long as he's in that environment he'll continue to stay mute.  get him into some sort of program like a sport or maybe the boy scouts, and keep him away from dad so he can get comfortable with himself

Answer 20

First of all Do something about his father. That's the problem.