Son going to school for the first time

Question

My 5 year old is starting kindergarten this fall and at first I was very sad that my baby was leaving but now that were getting closer I'm getting much more happier because he's driving me nuts! Heres my problem he doesn't want to go. I have been talking to him telling him how exciting it was how he'll make new friends, ride the bus, color, play games. No matter what I say to him he just starts to get sad and say please mommy I don't want to go. This would be the first time he has ever gone off somewhere by himself we are together everyday since I am a stay at home mom. I don't know what to say to him I though I was doing right by getting him excited about school but it just seems like I'm just making him depressed. How can I get him more pumped up for school?

Answer 1

Children vibe off of others especially their parents. Besides that HE WILL get over it, they all do. Believe me you'll come to appreciate the time apart, as well as the new sense of independence he'll gain.

Answer 2

It sounds like maybe he suffers from anxiety. I don't mean that you need to seek therapy or anything like that--it's normal for a lot of kids to feel separation anxiety from their mothers when they start school. Especially if you are a stay at home mom and you are together 24/7. He may feel scared to be away from you.

I would start doing things now to help him feel more comfortable being away from you. I don't know if you have a family member who could keep an eye on him while you go out for the day, but it would be a start. If he has any friends (or if you have a friend with a child his age), maybe you could take him over there and see how he reacts if you leave.

I might be way off here--maybe he's just really scared of going to school--but I know a lot of kids just want to be with their moms.

Don't worry--you're doing fine! Hopefully he'll like it once he starts.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

This anxiety is normal. Do you know any others going to kindergarten who you can socialize with before he goes? Expectation is usually worse than reality and after a day or two he might love it - new friends/activities etc. If he doesn't then communicate with the school. Find out about children in his class/group. Invite them round for tea etc (1 or 2 who are friendly personalities) to let him get used to 1 or 2 at a time. If he is used to you 24/7 then too many might be overwhelming. Once he has his foot in the door (a couple of friends) he might feel more secure.

Take credit from the fact that if he wants to stay at home is because he loves you. The next step is for you to support him widen his circle of experience - one step at a time.

He won't be the only one feeling this way.

Answer 4

I was the exact same way for about the first two days,after that I thought it was fun.To get him exited take him out to get new things,I always loved shopping for school.Don't worry too much about it,I was so upset my first day I waited outside and cried for like five minutes until my dad had to nearly force me to go..he'll be fine after he gets used to it,it's just separation anxiety.Plus he needs to learn to be somewhat independent.  

Answer 5

Do you know any children that are going to be in his class? You could  try to get him a few kindergarten friends and that way they can be in it together. Maybe you could take him to the playground and tell him that he gets to go on the playground at school and get new friends.

Answer 6

maybe you can set up arrangements to go to school on the first day with your son but the second day tell him he has to try it himself.

Answer 7

He will be fine.  He is likely just afraid because it is new to him and he is used to being home with you.  Take him on his first day (but don't stay....I doubt you would be allowed to anyway).  Once he goes and gets used to it and sees that he is having fun and making friends he will enjoy it.  

Answer 8

well just tell him he has too

Answer 9

Simply stop building it up. Have him get involved in choosing the items he'll need for school supplies, and clothes, etc.

Other than that, maybe read a few books about making friends, and talk with him at bedtime about proper behaviour in different situations.. . there are kids books on manners.

He'll be fine once school starts and he is actually there and realizes what it's like. Sounds like you haven't fostered much independence in him, and that's why he's being very clingy.

Answer 10

Maybe you have talk so much about it that you are pushing against it.

My suggestion would be to lay off the subject for now.  I am guessing you will have an open school night to meet the teacher?  Wait till then and get ready with joy.  Hopefully when he gets there he will see the teacher and other kids and be more at ease.

Going to school at 5 is frightening.  The dear of separation for the child is great.  You are his everything and will take him a while to adapt.

In fact it might hit you too!  I cried the first time I left my boys school like a sucker....  Today they go to college and I still worry to death.

But again my husband calls me mothen hen....  LOL

Answer 11

use an air hose, that always pumps me up. just quit talking about school, your probably pushing it on him too much and ther poor kid is getting nervous, try to find out another kid thats gonna be in the class and arrange for your son to meet with him, that way he knows someone else that will be in his class and it wont be as hard for him

Answer 12

Well I think that you need to test him out a bit so to speak and try him in daycare for 2 days a week in preparation for kindergarten.  That is what I did with my daughter.  I started out with 2 days and then went to 3 days and after that she was used to it and no longer cried when i dropped her off.  She made the transition into school life with ease as a result.  Alternatively, you could leave him with friends that you trust while doing your grocery shopping or running errands so that he learns that you always come back so he wont be scared when he starts school.