Son wants to be adopted by someone else?

Question

I met a wonderful man when my son was 2 months old. He has been raising him and he's now 9 years old. My ex-husband hasn't seen him in almost 6 or 7 years. He 's actually in jail in Washington State. Where would we even start to take the first step into getting this done? We are no longer together but he really wants to adopt him. And I would like him to also. He is a wonderful person. Has anyone ever been through this?

Answer 1

It's a fairly easy thing to do, but it is expensive. You can go through the family courts in your state. Please for your sons sake, make sure this is the man that you want to adopt your son. He will carry this mans last name for the rest of his life. What happens if you meet Mr. Wonderful and you want him to be the boys father? Just think it through.

Answer 2

Don't you just love it when dead beat dads turn around and took a bite out of your heels?

Answer 3

Even though he is incarcerated, he still has rights (fortunately/unfortunately).  Prior to engaging an attorney, you are going to have to contact your ex-husband somehow and ask if he will sign over his parental rights.  Depending if he is in for life or whatever, you can get past this with an attorney.  However, if his situation is for a small amount of time, he may not want to sign over his rights.  If he agrees to sign over his rights, you can then contact a family attorney to take your case, otherwise, you will pay the attorney $$ for nothing, basically.  Next, I would evaluate the relationship with your new guy, for example, a commitment for marriage.  Adoption is forever, so even if he ups and leaves, you can't terminate the adoption without his consent.  So . . . try for a commitment such as marriage with your new guy - he sounds wonderful!

Answer 4

Its sad that your sons not seen his father, but that's not your sons fault. Did he walk out of yours and your sons lives? If this man wants to do this, I think you and the man who wants to adopt him, should talk to his father over the phone or face to face and tell him what he wants.

Talk to the courts and see what can be done, while in jail does he have any rights?

Answer 5

Your first step would be an attorney that specializes in family law.  My mom and step dad started my adoption just a few months before they split up.  They actually got divorced in the middle of my adoption.  They went to the attorney, paid him of course, got my biological fathers parental rights revoked(he was all incarcerated), and then started all paperwork for the adoption.  I was only 12 when it all happened so I don't know the complete details of everything. I would just go talk to an attorney that has a free first meeting to see what you have to do.

Answer 6

Nearly the same thing happened to me, and if it's best for the kid, it's best for everyone.  You should probably call your City Hall and see what they say about it.  I know, for sure, that it's not that hard to get done.

Answer 7

In order for another man to adopt your son, the biological father's rights must be legally terminated in court.  

Find a reputable adoption attorney (possibly one affilliated with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys).  Get a consultation before you hire them; many lawyers say they can 'do stepparent adoptions,' but make sure you are hiring one with knowlege and experience.  THEY will handle all contact with your exhusband, don't do it yourself.

If you have an order for child support and proof that he has paid/not paid, be sure to give your lawyer a copy.  You will need to build a case explaining that your exhusband does not care about your son, but this other man does.

Answer 8

no

Answer 9

no but it should be ur dision

Answer 10

This is just like what happened to me when I was in 5th grade and my step father adopted me. First of all the fact that he has been out of the picture for that long of a period is definately is helping you, and that he is in prison is helping even more. You can file the adoption papers,they will send them to the father if he wont sign them you can present a case, in which you show the judge that it is in the best intrest of your child to be adopted by your new husband. If the judge agrees, he will ask the child what he thinks and if that is what he wants, then he will sign the papers, make the name change on everything.

Answer 11

No, I have not been through this but I know someone that had a similar situation.  If the father still has legal custody rights, then I believe you will need to have them terminated through the courts.  Then, you can proceed with adoption.  It may be a little tricky since you are not married to the man that wants to adopt.  Personally, I think this is a risky situation for you and I would not do it.  At least not formally.  I realize that wasn't your question, but do you really want to give legal custody rights to a man that you aren't married to and isn't the birth father?  Also, does your child live with this man?  If so, I'm curious WHY he doesn't live with you.  I'm thinking you could be putting your own custody rights in jeopardy.  I really don't understand why you would want to do this.  However, your first step should be to speak to a family law attorney.  You can find one at www.findlaw.com.

Answer 12

First thing you will want to do is petition the court in your county to terminate parental rights of the biological father...that can be done through a lawyer...second you will want a accurate log of phone calls and visits or lack thereof...depending on childs age and state he/she can also petition on behalf of the court to get his name changed and be adopted as well...I was a foster child that was adopted so I can give you some first hand experience and yes I was 14 when I went so I was very aware of things going on around me...if you want a more detailed answer send me an email there are many circumstances and details to be taken into consideration on this matter...best of luck to you and your family.

Answer 13

You need to consider all the financial ramifications of the adoption.  This wonderful man can always take an interest in your son, and be a friend and mentor to him, whether he adopts him or not.  But if you are no longer together, does he realize that he will be on the hook for child support until your son reaches the age of majority?  

Would there be any possibility that the incarcerated biological father may be eligible for Social Security Disability, and that your son, if there were no adoption, would receive a dependent's benefit through him?

I hate to be crass, but is the incarcerated father is elderly or in poor health, and therefore likely to die soon?  If so, your son may be able to receive Social Security Survivor's benefits through him.

If the incarcerated father is to be released soon, is there a possibility that he will become gainfully employed and start paying child support?

These are just things that you should take into consideration.

Good luck.

Answer 14

yea I'm sure there has been.

Answer 15

My youngest brother is actually my stepmom and another man's biological son. The father rarely ever saw my brother, and calls my dad 'dad'. Psychologically speaking, no matter how he is raised, biology is biology and he will have adapted some of his fathers aspects- even if the biological father is not raising him. However, a dad doesn't have to be defined through biology but rather by who the child considers his father. My dad has not legally adopted my younger brother-who is now 12, but they have looked into the process.

You need to first and foremost talk to your son and make sure that this is what he wants. You then have to contact Human Services and arrange for you and your ex to sign adoption papers. I'm not sure how this would work because the two of you are no longer together, but I'm fairly sure you would have to arrange for shared custody.

Hope this helps!

Answer 16

u need to ask ur self is it in the best interest of ur son. How does ur son feel about this guy if he calls him dad refers to him as a father type it is in the best interest to do this u can doit down at ur court house. Just go get the forms and it takes like 90 days to process. this does mean he will be able to take ur son on weekends or whatever u two agree on

needto talk  [e-mail]

Answer 17

do not know check with adoptions and see what they say.

Answer 18

Your ex is going to have to relinquish his parental rights in order for your significant other to adopt him.

Answer 19

My mom remarried when I was a year and a half old.  This man raised me until I was 11.

While my mom and step father were trying to decide where I would go just incase anything happened to my mom during her surgery, this came up.

It had come up before but now it was serious.  Having 3 siblings from this man, I would have liked to stay with him but my dad wouldn't sign the form  to give up his parental rights.

This is the most important step, you shouldn't have any problems after dad signs that paper.  I think you can pick it up at your county courthouse.

Answer 20

check out your Family Court or it's equivalent in your state -- they should be able to get the ball rolling.