Song list... :(?

Question

i'm getting my song list together for the wedding, and i don't know quite what to do...

is the father daughter dance first?

is it improper to dance with my new father after the dance with my real father?

is it okay to play songs and toss some not so slow songs in there occasionally?

and my fiancee hates the song linger by the cranberries... but i love it. should i surprise him with it? =P or just leave it out alltogether?

Answer 1

First, let me recommend that you and your new husband jump right into your first dance together as soon as you're introduced at the reception.  We did this, and I'm so glad because not only was everyone more attentive and less chatty because it was the beginning of the reception, but it also broke up the long list of formal dances expected at a wedding (first dance, father/daughter dance, mother/son dance, etc.)

After your first dance, go into dinner, and after that into the Father/ Daughter dance.  Then into the Mother/Son dance.

After your husband dances with his mother, I'd recommend that you dance with your new father (if that's what you want).  Instead of boring your guests with another whole song of watching you dance, instead tell your DJ that you want to dance with him alone for the first half of the song, and then invite your guests to join you on the dance floor to the rest of the song.  This way, your guests are already on the dance floor and ready to start the party.  This is how I organized my special Uncle/Neice dance.  

As far as "Linger" goes... I don't think surprising him with a song he hates is much of a surprise... why not pick a song you both like to dance to at the very end of your reception, when you're ready to begin your honeymoon.  

Hope this helps.  Good luck!

Answer 2

Your first dance song should be something you both agree on so it can be memorable for both of you. I danced with my step-father to There You'll Be by Faith Hill and it was very emotional. My real father wasn't there so I am not sure how you want to do that part. The couples dance is first followed by the father-daughter and then whatever other dances you have such as groom and his mother.

Answer 3

The first dance of the reception is usually for the bride and groom only.  It's their first dance as a married couple and they usually pick a song that is significant to both of them.  After that, the bride dances with her father to a special song, and then the groom dances with his mom to a song he picked out specially, and then (FINALLY) the dance floor gets opened up to everyone.  I personally think I'm going to feel really awkward dancing with my husband and then my father while everyone watches and nobody else is dancing, but it's tradition, and I'll just have to suck it up, I guess. : )

I'm having a similar situation about the whole father-daughter thing.  My "real" father has been divorced from my mom since I was about 4, and I haven't really had him in my life since I was about 12.  Recently we've been in a bit more contact, but we're still not what I'd call close.  On the other hand, my mom's boyfriend is someone I hang out with at least once a week, with my mom, and we're quite close, but it would be totally hurtful to my biological dad to choose to dance the "father-daughter" dance with my mom's BF instead of him.  To add to the confusion, I have an uncle who's been like a dad to me my whole life.  Yikes!!  So what I decided to do was this:  I am letting my uncle walk me down the aisle, I have gotten my mom's BF ordained online so he can actually be the one to officiate our ceremony, and I'll do the father-daughter dance with my dad.  That way, nobody's left out.

If your fiance hates "Linger," then DON'T play "Linger."  I like that song too, but it's not a great way to start out a marriage, purposely "surprising" your new husband with a song you know he can't stand.  It would be like if my fiance told the DJ to play "We Are Family" just for me, even though it's totally on my DO NOT PLAY list.  Listen to "Linger" while you're getting ready that day, on your iPod, if you want to hear it on your wedding day.  Besides, it's not very "wedding-y"- it's about a breakup, for God's sake...

Answer 4

nah its usually the bride and husband's first dance so try something memerable like van morrison - these are the days. and for the father and daughter song hmmm maybe baby love or something to show that the daughter is growing up etc..

Answer 5

Usually the the bride and grooms dance is first.  Leave out the Cranberries song if he hates it.  You don't want your new husband mad at you at the reception.

Answer 6

This is how ours went:

We showed up, had our first dance.  Then we ate.  Then we had a toast and the cutting of the cakes.  Then we did the bride/father dance, the groom/mother dance, the bridal party dance, and then regular dancing and music and fun.

You definitely can dance with your Father In Law.

Of course its ok to do fast and slow songs mixed in together.

You need to compromise.  He hates it but you love it.  Its not just your day, its his too!  IMO If you play "Linger" he should be able to have a song YOU hate be played at the wedding reception as well.