Sorry, the last one somehow deleted, Please tell me what you think of this?

Question

I am 14 years old

I wrote this poem when I was going through a really tough time

Can you please tell me what you think?

Feel free to give edits, suggestions, anything

Sunset

Shut those eyes

Tears falling

Darkness arrives

Ive got no heartbeat

I miss the light

All the good memories fading,

Out of my mind, they've taken flight

I cant wait any longer

Please wake me up

I'm sitting here crying

I need that sunrise

Answer 1

i like it

Answer 2

very nice good job.

Answer 3

I would like to say that this is very good. When i was 14 my parents begun there divorce. I have books filled of my own poems. If you ever right anymore of these could you send them to me? This was really great and i really liked it. Keep it up. Dont change anything about it.

Answer 4

Very nice! Hope your life is better now than it was back then...

Answer 5

Very emo. Very depressing. Very typical of teenagers trying to figure out who the heck they are.

Answer 6

it sucks...like picasso  

Answer 7

beautiful, one of the best ive read that werent proffesionals, but you forgot the line break at line 8, "they've taken flight" should be a seperate line

Answer 8

very upsetting but good

Answer 9

Wow not a happy poem...

Answer 10

Very deep for a 14 year old. I hope everything is okay and that you have people around you that love you!

Answer 11

Thats amazing! You shouldnt change a thing! But I hope everythings ok.

Answer 12

wow thats really intense. um the only suggestion i can think of is adding more but its really good

Answer 13

woah, deep.

Answer 14

i LOVE it

Its Really Good

:D