Speak up, or mind my own business?

Question

My husband has an eight year old (well, almost..he'll be eight in August) and he still sleeps and showers with my inlaws. He has a bedroom but he doesn't sleep in there, and the two or three times he did (about five months ago) my MIL had a baby monitor in his room! He also showers with them, still. I know it's none of our business, but my husband and I are worried about him because he isn't maturing at all, and acts like a child or 5 or 6. On top of all this, he is very very jealous of my son (who is 1) and he drives us crazy. If my MIL is trying to hold our son, he is in her lap, too and climbing all over them! We have had problems in the past with him actually hitting and kicking my son. We didn't go around for a few months and my MIL finally dealt with it. He still plays too rough, but it's improving.. Anyway.. what should we do? My MIL isn't the most adult person, either so I don't think she even realizes the problems she is creating by babying him like she is..

Answer 1

Why is he living with his grandmother and not with you and your husband? Sounds like he will be needing counseling soon if you dont make some changes. I'm sure there is some jealousy going on with a new sibling  now in the picture but he appears to be very immature for his age. Perhaps  his Dad needs to spend more boy time with him

Answer 2

Why does your mother in law have your husband's child?  If he's concerned, he should try to get custody of him.

I'm so relieved that it is his brother!  OMG!  He needs to tell his parents that their behavior is as inappropriate as the boys.  Did they do this to your husband?  That could give hope that he could turn out normal.

Answer 3

If the 8yr old is your ILs only grand child I can understand this. Especially if he lives with the grand parents. It's grand parents priviledge to coddle. At 8 theres lots of time for him to grow up.

Answer 4

hThat's a tough one, my neighbor has a kid that she never took to school he was 7 before she decided to home school him. I was really worried about him, he was  nice kid but I had to stop visiting because he would just get out of control.

They moved away before I spoke up to anyone.

Maybe if they go somewhere where the 8 year old can socialize with other kids that age maybe you MIL will realize how different he is. or you can call a family help place too.

Still showering with the parent is really disturbing, especially at eight.

Answer 5

Why doesn't the son live with his father? I'd be jealous too if the new baby got to go home with daddy and I had to stay with grandma.

When he hits or kicks the baby he needs to be put in time out. He is 8 years old so that is 8 minutes.

Maybe he has problems because his father left him with his parents to raise. Maybe that's why the father can't handle his son.

I think he is too old to be showering with the in laws...he should be bathing himself. I am sure if his father was more involved in his life he would know the boy probably has a mental disability.

I love how your blaming your MIL for the boys problems. She did not have him, but she is raising the boy.

You didnt go around for a few months and now your MIL has finnally dealt with it!  Why didn't his father go see his son!  He don't need you and the baby to go Visit

Answer 6

I'm assuming that MIL means 'mother-in-law.'  If your husband is concerned about this as he says he is than your husband needs to speak to his parents about it.  You shouldn't say anything because they're not your parents and it might cause more problems.  Why don't you and your husband take custody of the boy if he is your husband's son?  Otherwise, technically, your MIL is in charge and you can't do much.  All your husband can do is tell his parents that he's concerned about it.