Special name for birth mom?

Question

What do you say when you refer to your childs birth mother? Do you call her by her first name? Our adoption is semi-open, birth mom has visited once in a year and a half and may visit again. So far we have referred to her as her first name, but that seems so cold and impersonal for such a special lady. She's not an aunty and she's not mom. What have other adoptive parents done?

Answer 1

I'm a birthmom, and I go by Sarah.  We had an open adoption, but I don't visit.  Although I really appreciate that you are trying to be thoughtful of your birthmom's feelings, I am totally comfortable with Sarah.  I think that's the most appropriate.  You're right on about not being aunty, that's awful.  And not mom, either.  I'd go with her first name.  If you're comfortable asking, why not just ask the birthmom?  Hope this helps~

Answer 2

I call my bio-dad..........by his name Jerry

Answer 3

i have a friend who call her birthmom mom, and her adopted mom, mom. but i have also heard of birthmoms going by their first names. hope that helps. <3

Answer 4

Have you talked to the birth mom about it?  Asked her what name might make her feel more comfortable?  I'm sure she would really appreciate being asked if she would prefer something besides her name..though when you ask her be sure to specify that YOU are mom...

Answer 5

you didn't say how old the child is, my husband found out he was adopted when he was  a teen . when we got married he had just me him for the first time. he just wished his mom and dad had told him . let the child understand he chose you and as long as the real mother isn't very much  in the picture lately. tell a story as he grows up about a little boy or girl finding a mom and dad .  being father or mother any one can do that. but being a mom and dad is the ones who raised him and went place and was there sickness or trouble. she gave you the most wonderful gift give there is in this world her baby.don't lie or let some one tell him that's your place his mom. about him . as the  name and we tell other people when were talking about parents that his real father is one person   and his other man is dad ,his dad.

Answer 6

My best friend is adopted and she calls her birthmom "My birthmom". She calls her by her first name to her face. :)

Hope that helps.