Speech delay and BIG behavioral issues?

Question

My son is 30 months old and has a speech delay .He is about 15 months old in speech. He will be going to speech therapy. I cant take him anywhere in public or he is completely non compliant. He screams louad and high pitched ...will run away and not come back,lays on the floor and goes limp. When picked up , twists his body back and forth while trying to punch, when being picked up attaches his leg to mine so I cant get to him.....he even trys to bite. He is too strong and the evaluator has never seen this because he is more shy in front of her. We went to Panera before and he was banging his hands into the glass window , running into the bathroom fullspeed and screaming ( and this is when he is not having a tantrum. He is social with kids his age, laughs and is very happy sometimes too. But, I have a hard time controlling him and if he isnt getting to grab something in a store, he throws everything .I need my husband to help me Does this go hand and hand with speech and if not, Im not sure what to do to get him to listen. He just does not. Thanks

Answer 1

He needs a behavioral health evaluation done to determine if it is just a discipline issue (meaning you have to find the right way) or if it is a behavioral disorder that may require more than just basic discipline.  ODD, PDD, ADHD are three that come to mind right now.  

Answer 2

If you were having a hard time communicating with the people around you, wouldn't you get frustrated and act out too?  My daughter had speech issues and would throw tantrums.  They did drastically reduce once she started therapy.  Don't let him get away with this.  You do need to stop the poor behavior.  If he starts throwing a tantrum in public, immediately stop what you are doing, pick him up and say "this is NOT how we behave" and take him home.  If you are shopping, leave your stuff behind, if you are eating, pay the bill (they will gladly get you out of there asap)....just leave without saying another word to him.  When he settles say "Thank you for behaving so nicely".  Praise the good, punish the bad.

Answer 3

If you ask 20 parents of speech delayed children, you will probably get 20 different answers, there is a huge overlap of symptoms with the various disorders surrounding speech delays.  Yes, tantrums are common with speech delayed children.  I'm not an MD, but sometimes other moms who have lived it have better advice than the experts.  It sounds like your son is also exhibiting "sensory seeking behaviors."  

I can recommend books and videos that helped us get to the bottom of my daughter's speech delay and behavior issues, which were food allergies and Sensory Integration Disorder.  I highly recommend "A Picture's Worth: PECS and Other Visual Communication Strategies in Autism" by Andy Brody.  This book helped decrease the tantrums and showed me a path to encourage good communication skills even if my child wasn't verbal.  Don't let the title scare you, it doesn't mean your child is Autistic.  Do what works.  I would also recommend "Kids in the Syndrome Mix" by Martin Kutscher and "The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz.  

I also swear by videos for the visual learner: Baby Einstein, Baby Babble, and My Baby Can Talk are all great for increasing vocabulary (even if your child can't say COW, he should know what one is) and implementing sign language.  

I would also recommend that you google "Babies Can't Wait" for your state.  It will help you find other resources available to you.  

Answer 4

my son started speech therapy for his apraxia at 27 months old. Up until then he was a very frustrated little boy every day. a little thing like wanting to stir what I was cooking or flip the light switch could mean a 20 minute fit with screaming , kicking, turning red in the face and everything.

The first thing I noticed when he started speech therapy was that he started using his signs instead of his grunts and fits. his vocabulary gradually got better over the first 2-3 months of therapy. Around the 4th month something clicked and he started trying to talk in complete sentances. he still has to use his signs for clarity since his enunciation is poor, but the change in him in just 7 months is amazing. his personality blossomed and I discovered how smart he really is.

for now you might want to try and teach him simple signs such as "hungry", "thirsty", and "help". another simple thing you can do is give him a key ring of pictures of everyday things ( cup, toys, a snack, his bed, a potty, etc) so he can show you a picture of what he wants.

there is a chance that some of his behavior problems could be sensory related. My son in particular has tactile defensiveness above his shoulders...he freaks when you do something like wipe his face with a baby wipe. my daughter used to do things like kiss him on the top of the head so he would scream! It may be that being out in public is overstimulating to him. I think you will find great insight if you read a book called "the out of sync child". this book deals with all manners of sensory dysfunction and how it relates to a child's behavior.

feel free to e-mail me if you need a little support. My son is 33 months old and I know what kind of stuff you are going through. PLUS my oldest has PDD-NOS and has been having viloent rages directed towards me since he was 2 years old. I currently have a big bruise on my arm and a bruised nose from a rage he had a week ago.

Answer 5

My son also has speech delays and behavior issues.  He's 36 mos. now, speech therapy started at 17 mos.  The behavior did improve as the speech improved, but not entirely.  Definitely get an evaluation done--ask your pediatrician or speech therapist how to get an eval referral to your state's early intervention program (its federal law that every state have one).  But do it right away as that is only available until his 3rd birthday. After that age, it becomes your local school system's responsibility to provide services thru their Head Start program.  Both have behavioral types of therapy, but it is EXTREMELY important that you be brutally honest about every little and big episode.  DON'T try to make things sound like it's not that bad just because its embarrassing to admit to the evaluator.  They will  deny him admission if you make light of any problems.

The help is there, and sometimes you will have to push your way through the system.  The state Early Intervention program fee is based on a sliding scale, but I can tell you it is still VERY affordable, especially compared to insurance copays.   Head Start is a free program.