Speech greeting?

Question

i need a good speech greeting and i want it to be funny. something like, "As King Henry VIII said to each of his wives, "I wont keep yu for long"" Accept, something else...

Answer 1

Esteemed duchesses and dukes, the importance of your time is, as I know, very great.

Answer 2

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I will be brief and to the point.

Answer 3

I'd like to help but need to know the subject of your speech so I can offer something that would be relevent to the subject.