Spending what my hubby spends?

Question

I have been married for 6 months now...and my husband has expensive hobbies. He golfs, shoots and drinks...all of which cost a lot when you add them up. He buys and sells guns, which is fine when he can make money or break even on them, but ammo is not cheap. He buys box after box. We spend $50 on it last night, and he'll shoot through all of it today when he goes out w/ his buddy. and golfing at least twice a week is another $30-40 depending on where he goes. It just makes me mad b.c he spends so much w/o even thinking twice. I would be ok w/ it if he did it once in a while but it adds up very very quickly. And just going out for a few beers after work adds up to a $30 tab at the end of the night too. I figured up his golfing was about $200/mo alone. Add everything else ontop of it and its a lot. I was thinking about taking the same amount that he spends on himself out of the atm and stashing that cash into my personal checking account at another bank I had before we got married. It only has a $200 balance in it just b/c I didn't want to close that account, but I just want to show him how much he really is spending w/o thinking twice. Our account will deplete very quickly and he'll get pissed, then I'll prove my point by coming to the rescue w/ all the money I was able to save. He does make twice as much as I do and he tends to walk all over me financially telling me he's the one making the money so he should be able to control it and spend it blah blah bhal. first of all, we live in a small town, no one here ever makes over $12/ hour. Im stuck at $10/hr. Hes working for the military making over $20/hr. I don't think thats fair at all...and half his job is a freaking vacation anyway. I work my butt off. so that makes me even more irritated...anyway, back to the plan, would you do this if it were your situation?

Answer 1

So tell us why you married this guy?  Didn't you have a clue about his spending habits BEFORE you agreed to marry him?  Your husband is going to tank your finances...time for a serious talk about financial future now if you plan to stay married to this man....

Answer 2

Shoot even if you take half out, and dont tell him that you took it, let him think he spent it, save it for a while, and take yourself a nice vacation...

Answer 3

first don't go to his rescue maybe he needs to see for him self what money management is.i would use your owe bank and do whatever you want with your money and have him buy everything is what i would do.that would hopefully seening all those over draft fees cost and a true wake up call to him.

Answer 4

First rule of the jungle "self preservation", You should definitely start putting money away for your self-survival. The last thing you want to do is depend on a man for your livelihood, this is a control mechanism that a lot of men use. You need to consider your future in the event that things do not work out.

Was this type of behavior apparent before you got married? If so the problem may be more serious than you think. At any rate start putting away a few bucks for yourself.

Answer 5

i like your idea. put it in your other account. however, he makes double what you do so just take 1/2 of what he spends and put it in your other account. that way he can't bring that point up.

Answer 6

I think that your plan is a good wake up call to him if talking to work out. Me and my husband sat down when we first married and made a weekly exspense for eachother. It has to be equal and reasonable so that oyu can still both pay all the bills. Possible point out that you both work and you should only be able to spend a certain amount a week and that you both will get that amount. If you dont spend all of it use it the following week. It may not work if he isnt willing ot compromise but being married comprimise is something very imporant. Good Luck!

Answer 7

you need to take your plan into action if i was you do it asap even if its a road to desaster you will have a backup plan in your bank account

yep that what i would do and always tell yourself this

whats good for goose is good for the gander

in others words

do the same as the other does