Splitting the tab....?

Question

I'm going to lunch tomorrow with a friend. And to avoid the awkward "who pays for what" look when the check comes, I was just going to ask for two separate checks from the very beginning. Would that be rude? I mean, it implies that I'm not going to pay for her meal, but in a way, it also means I don't want her paying for mine either. And I don't want to ask the server to just split it down the middle if we were to go with the one check option. She's an old friend that I haven't seen for awhile, and we're both really excited to see eachother again. I just want to enjoy myself without any expectations, ya know? Thanks!

Answer 1

I say get the money stuff out of the way right at the beginning.  Tell them you will have 2 separate checks.  Then you can concentrate on your dinner and your conversation.

Answer 2

You could do that. Just do it like everyone else. Say you will be buying seperate orders. But will sit together. Ha!

Answer 3

Often times the waiter asks if we want seperate checks when my friends and I go out, he might save you the trouble. But, if he doesn't just pipe up and don't stress about it. No one can blame you for paying for your own food **gasp**

Answer 4

Actually I would get there a few minutes early and when they ask for your drink order tell them then that you won't be alone and it will be separate checks. Saves saying it in front of the friend and it just works easier that way. I would NOT split it down the middle. Because if she thinks your buying then you have to be MORE awkward and say 'HEY you gonna split this with me???'. Yeah I would just get there a few minutes early and say separate checks from the beginning.

Answer 5

You know, it really depends.  Did either of you INVITE the other to lunch?  If so, etiquette says whoever did the inviting pays.  If you think there is ANY form of expectation on her part that you were going to pay for lunch, I suggest you speak to her about it BEFORE you go, so that there is no awkwardness at the table.  Just call her and say "We were meeting at 1 right?  Oh, good...and I'm not sure if we discussed it before, but is dutch treat alright with you?"  Something like that...casual but to the point.

Answer 6

Actually I think that comes across as a bit tight. You should wait for the cheque and split it down the middle, reardless of what you have had. That's less nitpicky, I think. (Unless one of you orders a salad and the other a steak perhaps).

Answer 7

As a former waitress, just put it all on one tab and don't look like a petty person.  Who cares if you pay a buck or two more?  Won't it be worth it to see an old friend?  I think it looks tacky when you automatically jump in and say separate checks.  Just look at her and follow her lead.

Answer 8

i'm a server. when i do my initial greet i always ask if they would like one or separate checks. on average i'd say 75% of my tables would prefer separate checks. if your server doesn't ask, you should ask when you order your drink. it's not rude.

Answer 9

Asking for separate checks would not be inappropriate at all.