Spoiling kids?

Question

Does constantly taking kids on outing and making them happy cause problems later on? Im under the impression although my lo happiness is my priority she also needs 'normal' everyday experiences such as shopping, going to the park or simply reading a book. I think to many toys, outings or simply giving in to please is not good idea.

Answer 1

That is obsurd, are you joking? Of course it is good for children to go on outings, having interesting toys-anything interactive with you or others is good for them. There is no such thing as spoiled, the more interaction a child has the smarter they become.

Answer 2

spending time with your kids doing fun things could never spoil them. Although I hope they give things a try that you would like to do also. Buying them everything they want without teaching them the value of a dollar will spoil them. If you are spending time with your children and their friends that is great no matter what you are doing.

Answer 3

Before I met my fiance and his daughter, Me and my 2 children did alot of stuff during the summer that didn't involve money. Parks, exploring, swimming, etc. Since meeting them we have done just the opposite and spent alot of money last summer on different stuff. Well, this summer is going back to no spending. My kids enjoyed all of that before and they were getting spoiled with spending money everywhere we went. This is so they appreciate when we do spend money.

Answer 4

its not the outings or trips you should worry about, its the i pods, computers, games consoles, music boxes, TVs, that clog up most kids bedrooms these days.  Books are good and doing things with your children can only be a good thing.

Answer 5

Spoiling is getting your child everything they want whenever they want, giving into tantrums, and not using discipline.

If you do that they'll be bratty.

Answer 6

Hope she finds a husband with a gold mine when she gets older because most people won't be able to provide the entertainment you have gotten her used to on an adult level.

Answer 7

If you dont cover them in plastic wrap and refrigerate them they might spoil!

Answer 8

If you are spending time with your children and giving them your attention, this is not spoiling them.  Giving love & attention is the most important thing.  

You have to be careful not to give in to all requests for the latest in this, that and the other.  If your child asks for something, put a value on it, and make them 'work' for it, e.g. keep your room tidy for 1 month, wash the dishes, help out in other areas, etc.  You are then instilling in them that nice things cost money and they can't just ask and get.

This is how it worked in my house.  Hope it helps.

Answer 9

buying kids things you can afford to buy, and taking them on outings, does not spoil a child.

What does spoil a child is buying them things you know you can not afford.  And giving into tantrums.  allowing them to do whatever they want whenever they want.  And not loving them enough to say no.

Answer 10

It's not the things you do with her, it's the things you give her. If you give in to her every request then the problem starts. When you decide to or need to say no she wonders why mommy is being "unreasonable".  It is the sense of entitlement or the belief that things equate love or the teaching that posessions make you happy that  what you want to avoid.  Children all have to be allowed to experience some let down so they can see that after disappointments life goes on.  Don't try to make them happy, teach them how to be happy.

Answer 11

in my experience with other family members who are more well off, the spoiling will only come about if the kids are allowed to be complacent about outings, treats etc and no longer see them as treats but expect it.  It means as they get older, if they dont get their expected treats they think theyre being hard done by, hence being spoilt.  As long as children know that a treat is a priviledge and are made to feel thankful for it, they should be fine.

:D

Answer 12

Children become spoiled when they are not taught to appreciate what they have and not taught to feel grateful to the person who gave them the things (or gave them their time & energy).  

A child is not spoiled because they have things or get attention, they are spoiled if they don't show proper respect & honor for the things & people in their lives.  

Don't give in just to please.  That won't teach your child to appreciate what she has or to treat others with respect.  But, do enjoy the life together that you can afford (both financially & in time/energy).  Don't hold back on life to teach a lesson - I don't think that teaches anything & life is too short to waste like that!

Answer 13

i believe in firm boundaries with kids

once you have a healthy and respectful relationship going with them then you can have fun together with outings and treats and the like

but if their whole life is a 'treat' then that in itself can become mundane and the whole idea of learning about life and chores to become independent one day can be lost because an adult has decided to spoil the child (by self indulgences)

the adults have to decide what the long term aims are with a child - is it to breed a sense of entitlement?  or is it to prepare them for life in the adult world?

Answer 14

I think that making children happy and always taking them out and spending time with them is the absolute best thing for them. I'm 33 years old and my parents did it with me and I'm so thankful . I hope that I will be like that with my children one day..when I do have any...hopefully...!!

Answer 15

Many great answers here. Really. You, cannot make your child happy. Its how she sees things that make her happy.