Stag and Doe Question?

Question

I've asked this before but got nothing but rude responses from people.

For everyone's information stag and does are common where I live (in CANADA) and if you think it's tacky or don't agree with it then keep your mouth shut and don't answer my question.

Stag and Doe: When to have it? My MOH asked me the other day and I had no idea how soon was too soon. We're getting married in August and she was thinking of having it in March because that's when we'll need to book our honeymoon and she wants us to have the money before then, is this too soon?

ALSO, I haven't been to a stag and doe in years, and she's never been. Anyone have any good ideas for one? Are 50/50 draws done? what about raffling some booze off or something? Any suggestions would be great. THANKS!

Answer 1

Hi, I'm from Canada too and when I asked a question about a stag and doe a few years back nobody knew what I was talking about.  usually they are done about 2 months before the wedding, but I've seem some done as early as 4 months prior.  I would say March is a bit early for an August wedding.  I would go no sooner then May when planning it.  Book the basics for your honeymoon then add the fun details once you see how much money you have.  Some travel agencies allow a payment plan too as long as its paid before the time of the trip.  All the stag and does I've been to, tickets were $5, 50/50 draws are popular and often there are prizes to raffle off.  the last one there was a case of wine, a nice camping tent and a BBQ.  they made quite a bit of money off that stuff.  I would start looking now for some sales to pick up some prizes.  with summer nearing its end, you could probably get a good deal on some things to raffle since your stag next year will be approaching summer.  I've also seen crown and anchor or toonie tosses as well.  Also, getting a place where you can bring in and serve your own alcohol is good too because then you make money off it and the liquor store lets you bring back what you dont use if you get too much.  

edit:  I am from Ontario and around here, if you dont have a stag and doe people ask whats going on!..lol.  it has nothing to do with being hard up for money.  its a good time out with people you know.  Cover for most bars are $5 anyways and drinks are alot more expensive at a bar then a stag.  Also, at least at the stag you get a chance to win prizes and something to eat so they are pretty popular.

Answer 2

The last one I was invited to was in April, and the couples wedding was in August.  But I was also invited to one in June that was for an August wedding (the same day in August actually. lol).

At this one I was invited to all the raffles were for booze!  It was very popular.  The jeweler that made my engagement ring is a good friend of my fiance's dad and he offered to donate a pair of diamond earrings for us to raffle off if we have a Stag and Doe.  So you can pretty much raffle off anything!

What about gift cards for the movies/dinners out, etc?  Those always seem to be things people would like to win.  That and gift cards to electronics stores (best buy, etc).

Good Luck!

Answer 3

I'm going to guess that you live in Ontario. I'm in BC and that type of stag and doe is unheard of here, and considered rude and tacky. I lived in Ontario for a few years and before that had never even known that these existed - but to everyone out there, it's normal. (A stag and doe here is just a combined bachelor and bachelorette party.) Honestly, I think if you need the money that badly, cut back on some of the things at your wedding. JMHO.

Anyway, the typical time to have one of these is the same time you'd have a regular bridal shower. So, about a month or two before the wedding. March is too soon.

Answer 4

Hi Nikki:

I have never been to one....never heard of it until I started posting on here, but they do sound fun.

My thoughts are....I don't see as why it would be a problem at anytime during the engagement.  Or should I say, anytime during the one year prior to the wedding (as many are engaged for 2-3 years or more.)

Also, I think March would be perfect.  It's months past the Christmas holiday....kind of yucky outside...so it would give your invitees something to look forward to.

Really, I would not have a problem with going to a stag and doe in March for an August wedding.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you.

Answer 5

I admit, I had to Google it.  Didn't know what it was nor had I ever heard the term before.

After looking it up, I like it.  I think it's an interesting idea.  But, from what I've read, here's my take on it.

First, as long as the people invited to attend are people you'd want to be there (but really, isn't that usually how the invite list is made out in the first place!).  No matter how much you need the financial help, getting it from people who will cause h**l isn't worth it.  And just a few months spacing doesn't sound too soon to me.

Second, I think that as long as the initial charge covers something (a small token, the buffet, whatever the host or hosts decide), then it isn't tacky.  It's certainly different and unusual to me, but many traditions or beliefs are going to be different to someone who hasn't heard of them.

Finally, I think the ideas you asked about would fit right in.  Are they done?  That I don't know, but if they're not, why not?  Maybe if you have some fine jewelry or dishes or something of a knick knack collection, you could do a silent auction?

Hope that I've helped somehow.

Answer 6

I think raffling some booze off would be good.Congrats and best wishes on your wedding.