Starting a family? Would I be making the right choice?

Question

Hey, I'm a college student, but one day I want to start a family. I know this is not the place to ask but I figured that I would anyway. When I was in high school I did not have a lot of friends and the friends that I did have lived all the way across town but they lived in huge houses in development's that had hundreds of houses. I don't know why, but I loved it there because a lot of kids from school lived there and my friends had so much stuff. It isn't that my family wasn't rich it was just we lived in another part of town but nobody really lived near us, but my parent's never really treated me I guess you could say but they are not bad people, they got me into a great college and I'm very thankful for it. What I am trying to say is that in the future I will make more than literally anyone in my whole family has ever made, I'm talking about a career in the medical field, no one in my entire family had made as much as a doctor makes today and I don't a surgeon, I mean a regular old doctor. So, one day some years from now I WILL be practicing medicine and soon after that I want to start a family and I know I will find the right woman. However, I want to have children but I want them to grow up in my old town but where I WANTED to live, I want my kid's to be able to have all of these great friends who live in the same area. There was this one area where there was this HUGE development with 120 houses and right next to it a development with literally 300 houses. All of this aside though, my question really comes down to this:

Would I be doing the wrong thing by wanting the kids I have to grow up how I WOULD HAVE WANTED TO? If I do have children I just want them to be happy. I want them to live in a house my parent's could never afford to buy, but I can. I want them to be able to choose what kind of school they want to go to and everything, and I would be able to afford all this. Am I wrong in wanting this?

Answer 1

No, not at all. You just want what's best for them and what will make them happy. There is nothing wrong with that.  

Answer 2

I wouldn't say you are wrong for wanting this, but you ought to recognize that you do not want this 'for your kids', you want it for yourself.  Making your child play a sport because you always wanted to be on the team, learn to play an instrument because you didn't get a chance, or play with the kind of friends that you wanted to have is reducing your child to playing the role of Daddy Ditto or Mommy Jr.  The child will spend years talking about how he/she would have been much happier if only --

You can never ever go back and live your childhood over with different choices.  If you've ended up in a good place and you are satisfied with where you are, all those choices helped get you there.  You could more productively make choices in your own life right now that might result in 'having all these great friends' among your college classmates instead of waiting for a potential child to have lots of friends for you.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with wanting your kids to have it better than you did.  They will have wants and needs of their own.  Kids will let you know what they want at a very young age.

Answer 4

If you think that the way you wanted to grow up would be the best thing for them, then it's fine, but if you just want them to grow up how you wanted to but you're not sure that it's best for them, then you should think about it.

Just think about their future before you think about letting them grow up the way that you wish you had.

[[not trying to sound mean if I did]]

good luck with school and starting a family.