Starting over in college...

Question

I'm a girl and I went to a small boarding high school. I've hooked up with one guy before, I know that's pathetic. Sometimes people tell me I'm beautiful but I don't think so, it's mostly about my body (tall, thin). People do say I look 'innocent.' Sometimes I can be shy around guys or even girls I meet for this reason, I'm pretty complicated in that respect. However I do think I have a really good personality. Can anyone give me some good advice, besides 'being myself,' that will help me get a new start to make new impressions in college? (It's a big college where supposedly a lot of the guys are g*y, and the location will make it hard to meet people, so it's important to become friends with those who I do meet, unlike the small community/family of my H/S.)

I don't want people to look past me. I want to be someone people invite everywhere and want to know and meet. Thanks...

Answer 1

just be yourself, join or start a club on campus, socialize and study with class mates, and participate in class, so others will notice you. no one notices the quiet people who sit in back of the class. sit in front, and answer questions.

if your professor asks for someone to come and work out a problem on the board or read a poem- do it!

college is such an easy place to network, nothing like high school. don't worry about others liking you, like yourself,and others will like you too. also your goal is to finsh school,not get boned by some bozo, so focus on your studies and you'll meet people.

insecurity oozes from peoples pores and predatory players look for that. don't look for that attention, you are better than that.

Answer 2

Spend a lot of time on campus - cafeteria, dorm rooms, student social center. Talk to people next to you in class. Speak out a lot in class. Attend school activities. Join a club.

Answer 3

Try to be more outgoing and bubbly. I'm sure if you opened up a bit more people would love that. Good luck!

Answer 4

um what worked for me is to SMILE, be nice and have a sense of humor and don't be shy, talk to people.. and it's cool when you find things in common with who ever you want to talk to.. just think of who you would want to talk to.. i guess it's that simple? lol

Answer 5

I would like to see you think in terms of picking people who are worthy of your friendship.  Think of yourself as someone special.  You are.  To focus on quantity over quality in friendships is important, I believe.  Please avoid being rude to others.  Even, if your opinion of them may be less than superb.  It is about liking yourself that all good and beautiful within you flows.  Of course, study. The library is an excellent site to meet college students who are serious about school and usually respectful of others.  I think you will thrive if you just treat your depression like another disorder. You should not work too hard to build friendships.  You will create wonderful friendship by respecting yourself and seeking out others who are respectful of others.  

Answer 6

First off, what is so pathetic about being with only one guy? That's an achievement, don't get it twisted. It means you don't have herpes and you're not a s***k. s*x and love is one thing, but s*x and s*x and more s*x is not very good for a young woman's body and mind. Try and keep things relaxing and non abrasive in your life!

If people tell you that you are beautiful, it means that you are, so stop thinking that you aren't, and you might start to feel better about yourself. Nobody likes someone who fishes for complements by constantly talking themselves down. People are usually too concerned with how THEY look to care about anybody else, really. And sometimes the "innocence" thing is s**y.

And I know you don't want to hear it, but being yourself IS the best advice anyone could give you. Trust me, when I started college, I tried acting all different and changing my persona. It's fun but it doesn't work. It leaves you feeling empty and lame. There's nothing better than finding the things you like about yourself and building the REAL you up. Not a fake you.

You cannont decide for yourself how people will feel about you, so stop trying. Life is not a contest, however much it might look like one in the beginning. The teen years are short and painful no matter what you look like or how many friends you have, so you might as well spend the time getting to REALLY know yourself instead of becoming just another lame and empty copy of everybody else around you.  

Answer 7

Perhaps you could join organizations in your college like SGA or something. That would help you meet guys that share the same interests as you do. Plus, you'll meet guys in your classes, so don't be afraid to ask for or offer help. :)

Answer 8

Be the person that always has a smile on...those are the first people i feel comfortable and easy to start a friendship with. best of luck! :P