Starting the adoption process through foster care...?

Question

I'm just wondering if it would be best for us to foster children in our home first? I also want to know if fostering can help us adopt quickly? Any suggestions would be great! We are not looking for a baby (although it would be nice), I would simply like to have a child that is less than four years old. I figure, if I'm going to take a year off for maternity leave, I would like to do it while that child is not in school. Otherwise, I might as well work. Also, we are not opposed to taking siblings.

Answer 1

I don't think adopting from Foster care is necessarily easier but is is quicker.  There  is an advantage, because you get to bond with the child  before you commit. Children under the age of 5 are very mold able.  I think in the world of fostering allot of people are in it for the money or what looks good.  Parents who want to adopt children from foster care are very brave.  God knows the children's hopes and dreams are to become a family member and not to wonder through life like falling leaves.  Taken by the direction of the wind.    Think of what change you can have in a child's life. I must warn you it's not an easy task but it's a very rewarding task.  There will be times you question your decisions.   But then when you see the fruit of your hard work it makes it completely worth it.  I have 3.  twins that are 20 now but were 9 when I had them.  I have a boy that is 15 and was 5 when I got him.  They are my happiness what I learn from them.  I would never find in text books.  Good luck on your new journey .  God give you the wisdom to change what can be change and accept what you can't

Answer 2

We adopted two little boys, brothers, one is 3 years and the other is 18 months, via "foster to adopt".  They are brothers and were removed from their birth family for drug and neglect issues.  When first began to foster them, they were still working their way through the system and they were not placed for adoption until 3-4 months later.  The entire process took 2 years, from starting the certification/home study process to finalized adoption.

I believe going through foster-to-adopt was faster and generally better.  Our boys met the characteristics that many people want for adoption and if we had not been their foster parents I have no doubt that there would have been many potential adopters.  In other words, our adopting them would  never have happened if they had not been fostered in our home first.

However, there were also several times when it looked like we would not be able to adopt.  There were several nail-biting moments when we were waiting for the results from court hearings or deadlines to pass.  It would have been very hard for us to have to give them back to a birth family who had previously done a poor job of their care.  (Look for a recent posting on the topic).  

In short, I do think it is a good way to go.  But, go into it with awareness of the possible problems.

Edit - Someone mentioned the cost.  Foster-to-adopt is indeed much less expensive than private adoption.  In our state, the state will reimburse your legal fees for the adoption through the foster system and you will still qualify for the adoption tax credit.  Also, if you are adopting harder to adopt kids, like minorities or siblings, you may also qualify for some benefits after the adoption.

My feeling is, these kids are in real need, and you can really make a difference in the life of a child.  And, save the money you would spend on a private adoption to spend on the kids or put away for their college.

Answer 3

I was adopted thru foster care. I was placed when I was 18 mths and i was adopted when I was 4. I really don't remember anything, expect my parents had to get a lawyer and a letter from the doctor who took care of  me. I was very sick when i was placed w/ my parents.

Growing up my parents did foster care and it is a very loving thing to open up your home. I will say this that sometimes foster care can take a toll emotionally. I had a foster sister and she was placed in another home because my family had to move out of state. The state we were going to move too, said that because my foster sister was with us for a year she could move with us. But the state we lived in didn't want to do the paperwork and my foster sister's mother didnt want to give up rights. My foster sister's mother lived on the streets and did drugs and she would come back now and then into my sister's life. So anyway the mother still wasn't a constant figure in her life and she wasn't wiling to give up her lifestyle. So the state could of made her give up her rights to my sister, but like i said they didn't want to do the paper work. So we had to leave her. Well the day she was being removed she tried to jump out our second story window. I balled my eyes out, i still hurt thinking about it. She was 7 years old and she became part of my family. i felt that a piece of my heart was missing and still is to this day. So, I guess what i want to say is foster care can be rewarding but it can also be disappointing sometimes. Especially if you formed an attachment to the child and they are taken out of your home because of some reason out of your control, It can be heartbreaking. I still wish you the best and I hope whatever you decide it works out. I just wanted to share my story with you.

Peace,

Healing Adoptee

Answer 4

DDT, that's wonderful. I admire you for doing this. That's really smart to want to do this while you are on maternity leave. I've heard a lot in here about adopting foster children and the costs have been said to be free (?, which I don't understand) to $1,000. As far as how soon you'd be able to adopt, I don't have a clue. But I wish you the very best no matter what you do. Take care.

Answer 5

Yes, adopting through foster care is much faster.There are phases of fostering children. They have foster: in this phase the parents are making steps towards reconciliation. Foster-to-adopt : this is the phase where the children will not be placed with the birth parents. The kids are usually put in this category while the county worker is preparing paperwork to relinquish parent rights. And some children in foster care are already placed in adoption category. I adopted a sibling group in the foster-to-adopt category. In this phase, you have a few more benefits than with regular fostering. In regular fostering, the children are placed in your home based upon them needing a place and a "transition" parent. But when you foster- to-adopt you can visit with the children to see if you feel they will be a good fit for your home. You can go see them for a while, then they can  come over for weekend visits. You get to know the children before they come into your home, which helps a lot with the transition into the home. The resentment that foster children sometimes feel when they move into a new home isn't there. As a matter of fact, they are excited about coming home because they already know you. So fostering-to-adopt is the best way to go if you know you want to adopt. It will also cut down on you being heart broken about children coming in and out of your home during regular fostering. I only take children that are foster-to-adopt because I know I can't bare them leaving once they become a part of my family.

Answer 6

We are in the process of trying to adopt a child we have had for quite sometime (fostering).  Although this child still has ties with his bio parents, these are in the process of being terminated - what we are waiting on.  Where we are, it was the easiest way to foster children at a very young age, it was also not guaranteed that we would get to adopt any of them as our goal was reunification.  In my experience, it would be easier to adopt if you did it through foster care with a child who does not have any ties left with the bio parents....meaning legally free / not legal risk.

Good luck!