Stay at home mom and keeping up question

Question

i have 4 kids/husband why is it that if you relax for one day your whole house is destroyed. i feel like i just cant keep up. i get so bored of the same old cook, clean, clean, cook, clean any ideas on staying on top of things and feeling like i have something else to live for. (yes i live for my kids/husband) so please be nice. anyone with the same situation will know what i am talking about

Answer 1

Maybe you could have weekly girls nights or a spa day! It is amazing that you live for your family, but everyone needs a little "me" time every once in a while or they will go crazy! Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Explain that you know he works very hard to provide for the family, but you also work hard doing the same thing in a different way. I don't think he would be too opposed to helping out at least one night a week. Maybe you could even leave the kids with a sitter or family member once a week and have a date night! That way you and hubby could keep things fun! I hope this helps! I respect greatly what you do for your family and hope you always enjoy it and never resent it! Good Luck!

Answer 2

It's hard to be happy with the ones you love most when you're stretched in a zillion different directions, isn't it? It concludes to us that there must be something better out there. My kids are grown, but the burn outs I felt are still embedded in my brain. Try cooking microwaveables and using paper plates. Kids love finger food...no utensils to wash. Give the older kid a feather duster. A tired mommy makes a really tired wife...so much for s*x. Can you make date nights for you and him? Don't be afraid to park those kids in front of the t.v. once in awhile.Give yourself breathers. I survived three kids who were 18 months apart and bringing them up alone for awhile when the hubby decided he needed his freedom...what a wimp. Oh, and a glass of wine or some chamomile tea after the kids have gone to bed sure helps to. And don't forget to take an occasional bubble bath. Mr. Bubble is for mommies too!

Answer 3

yes, it can get really boring and is really depressing if youu don't get help because you find yourself doing the same thing 3 or 4 times a day.

Try to give your kids little chores so that you don't spend your whole life just doing that.

Maybe yu can find some friends at the kids' school or in the neighborhood.  How about finding a pal to go walking together?

Visit your local library and borrow books either in print or on tape.

Answer 4

I have 3 kids and its destroyed so fast....but its ok to rest now and then u need that hun....and theres lots fun ways to relax 2

Answer 5

Yes I feel your pain! Yep that's alot of cleaning on your hands. I know you are tired and depressed. Sounds like you need some 'ME' time more regularly. BUT..here's the BIG issue: why are you the only one cleaning?

I question WHY your children are not more involved in the cleaning. This is a HUGE mistake. Any child after 2 years old can help around the house - even just by picking up their own toys. You are a making a SERIOUS mistake because you are not teaching responsibility and self-care, you are raising crippled children. Watch the Nanny some night. She immediately institutes CHORES. Every child NEEDS chores, especially after 3 years old. It can be as simple as cleaning up their little area or picking up their toys. It is never too late to start. If you are a stay-at-home Mom, your job is to organize and delegate NOT to slave away for everyone. You will be happier when you get a chart and put it on the fridg and make everyone stick to it. 1st graders and above should be cleaning toilets and sweeping; picking up shoes, hanging up their clothing. You are sending the wrong signals to your children - that you are nothing. That you are the slave and they are the leaders. A woman with 4 children really has 4 helpers! And your house should be pretty spotless with 8 pair of little hands! You should be doing the major stuff,  but you should NOT be picking up toys or hanging up clothing; heck all 1st graders can fold the washed clothing!

You should be able to relax daily and know that they will keep it moderately clean. When they get out of school, it should be chores FIRST, then homework, then PLAY. No one plays if the house is dirty. My husband's mother made him the perfect man (almost!). My mother-in-law had 3 boys and she raised them up cleaning; by 10 years old they were all doing the yard, washing their own clothing and cleaning. They were taught very young to PITCH in and that Mommy was not the slave. What a wonderful husband he is now because he believes in TEAM work in our home, not slavery!  If you love your children, you teach them to clean. You raise them as responsible people. Loving them isn't letting them around and do their thing - it's their home and they should be taught to RESPECT it!

IF you love your children, you train them up the right way. My friend's son has been cleaning his room since 3! He's now 7 and she says some days the only room in the house clean is his, but its his doing! And she's proud of that. She said she's raising a MAN, not a baby! So your load would be lighter if you spread the work around. It doesn't mean you don't love them less, it means you truly love them because you are training them to be moral, responsible people and to value Mommy. Mommy is not a slave, but a helper! It's a family, a team!  

Answer 6

I only have two kids and I feel like you do! You let it go for even a day and it takes 3 days to get it back together. People even have the nerve to ask me what I do all day! I love that one!

I made myself a calender of "chores". I clean one major thing every day (mop floors, clean bathrooms, dust) and I do a couple of loads of laundry a day. I also do dishes daily.

After that I commit myself to having fun! I play with my kids in the dirt and don't let myself worry about the mess. I stay up late even though I know I am going to be tired in the morning. I drink a wine cooler on a Wednesday just because. I say YES when my husband wants to have s*x. I also have begun demanding more from my husband. He will throw a load in the wash if he sees the need, or wash the dishes from dinner. His work day starts at 7:30am and ends at 4:30pm. Mine starts at 6:00am and goes until 9:00pm, so the way I see it, he can help when he gets home!

I am allowing myself to buy things for ME now also. Like a pair of super cute black pumps that I know I won't ever wear because I never go anywhere. But I like them and they look cute, and if you can't buy something just for you, just because then what the heck is the world coming to?! You have something to live for... YOU! Before you had kids and a husband you were living for you! And even if it wasn't a great life, there is no reason why you shouldn't give yourself a great life now!

Leave the kids with your husband on a week night and go to the mall by yourself. Try on things you would never buy. I do that sometimes. I tried on prom dresses this past spring. It was so much fun... even if I had to cram the extra baby weight into a size that I swore I would never be! ;)