Stay at home mom returning to work ...so sad?

Question

So I have had the honor of staying home with my son the first year of his life. I am sooo attached to this little guy. I have to start working tomorrow and my stomach is in knots. I feel like Im going to throw up. I feel like I will be sad, he will be sad, and it will just be no good. He will be with my mother in good hands but Im so afraid I will miss something and will come home one day and he will have a mustache. How can I not be so sad and stop crying?

Answer 1

You are lucky you got to stay home an entire year!  Many of us single working moms are lucky to get six weeks off with our newborn.  

Answer 2

You've made a decision for your family, if this is the best overall plan for your family then explain to yourself like you would to a friend, why. Practice until you can say this statement to yourself and others. Maybe something like: I was able to stay home with my son for a year and now he'll be staying with my mom while I go back to work and build my career/ make money for my family/ reenter the workforce.

Good luck, he's in great hands with someone who loves him!

Answer 3

Oh honey!!!!!! I feel your pain. But you have to remember , children at this age are very resilient and you shouldn't feel bad about going to work. You stayed at home for the first year and now its time for mommy to get back in the groove of things. i wish i could work but my son is only 4 months old and i watch way to much lifetime and CNN to let my son go to daycare. I mean its really nice being at home with him but it would be great to have a conversation with someone everyday that doesn't drool and throw up on me LOL My husband is sooo tired when he gets home from work he eats dinner and goes to bed....You have to learn to relax.It's not like you will pick him up one day and he won't know who you are!!! He is a year old and probably pretty independent!!!!! It's just one of those things that your going to have to sit back and let happen. And he is in good hands. Your mother raised you . She is more capable than you think. Just take a deep breath and try to just let chill. Good luck to you and i hope this helps!!

Answer 4

It always gets better with time, keep telling yourself that. You'll probably hate life the first couple of days being away from him but after that has passed you'll feel more confident and feel like you are doing the right thing. You will still get to be around him when you come home in the evenings so think of that as well.

Answer 5

well dont go to work give it up if u can be  mum

live ur dream

im sure u will get benifits and u will not miss anything in ur sons life

and go back to work while he is at school

also if u can not leave work try using a webcam so u can see him all the time  

Answer 6

No denying it, this is a toughie.  I remember my first day back to work after my first son was born. It was awful!  But just because your stomach is in knots, make sure your little one views this in the most positive light as possible.  They pick up ques from Mommy and if Mommy is acting like the world is going to end, they will feel the same way.

Try to do your best to smile and explain that you are going to be doing some grown up things during the day now and he will be staying with Grandma (or whatever he calls her).  Tell him that you will be home soon and that he's going to have so much fun with new adventures and games and toys with your mother.

Give him a picture of yourself (preferably one of you holding him) to keep nearby to look at during the day.  Write him a little note each morning and leave it for your mother to read to him if he gets sad during the day.  You might even want to take some photos and drawings to make him a little "book" that Grandma can read to him, showing you getting up in the morning, getting dressed for work, hugging and kissing him good bye.  Then have some pictures of him laughing and playing with Grandma.  Then show you coming home at the end of the day, hugging him and showing that he can look forward to seeing you after a fun day with your mom.

If she's able to, it may be a good idea for your mom to join a play group (like Mommy and Me) that she can take him to during the week that is special for just him and Grandma.  He'll interact with other kids and it will provide something positive to look forward to that he can go with your mom.

It's ok to cry during your lunch hour.  Keep a picture of him on your desk and remember that it will get easier and easier.

I have 3 boys - 12, 5 and 3 and I've had to go back to work after each one.  I spent a year with my oldest, 8 months with the middle one and only 8 weeks with the little guy.  I was sad each time, but it got easier to let go.  

You'll also be surprised at how much you will gain from "adult conversation" on a regular basis!

I wish you and your little guy the best

Answer 7

Hi there,

I know what you are feeling. I remember when I had to go back to work after staying home with both of my children. It is one of the hardest things to do and I know you feel sad and probably a little guilty too if you are like me.

First of all, like you said he will be in good hands at your Mothers. You are very lucky that he doesn't have to go to day care like mine did.

That should give you a little piece of mind knowing that he's with his Grandmother.

I'm not sure if you will have a computer where you will work, but you could have a camera where you could watch your son and check in that way whenever you feel the need.

Or you could get your mom to video tape him. You can get decent deals on eBay for a camera. So in case he starts to say some new words or walk ( if he's not already ) your mom could film it so you won't miss those first steps or words.

Call home and just talk to him on the phone and let him hear your voice.Eventually he will start to talk back.

Have you checked at work to see if they have a day care there ?

That might be an option a couple of days a week.

If you live near your Mom's maybe you could go home for lunch, or your Mom could maybe bring him to work for lunch.

I know it doesn't feel like it but it does get better/easier after awhile once you get into the routine. Then when you get home just spend as much quality time with him as you can.

He will do fine with your Mom . He has a safe and secure place and once he sees that you come home everyday and you have special time together he will adjust very quickly. Children adapt very easy to new situations, we are the ones that have the hardest time.

You sound like a wonderful loving Mom that's going through a new transition. You will do fine.

Tell mom to take plenty of pictures too !

Then comes College before you know it. Both my kids just left and I'm having major empty nest syndrome.

It's all part of life. Not always easy, but it's a positive thing.

I hope some of the tips will work for you.

Don't be so sad, be happy that you have such a sweet little guy to come home to.

Take good care !

Answer 8

Aww, cheer up! You'll find that your life will be much more fulfilling and wholesome now. Besides, your son needs a break from you. It'll be good for him to be around others.  

Answer 9

oh..dont worry hun...it is all ok..

I am 6 weeks preg now :) and i cant wait till i see my baby...

going to work will also b a good change for you..Now you may b feeling bad..but after a month...you will feel good..And you are so lucky..u have ur mom to take care of the baby...so..she will be happy tooo..am sure...

All things in life happen for a good reason...dont get nervous...things will b gud as always..take care...