Stay at home mommies/daddies?

Question

Anyone ever feel like they don't do enough? My husband works 12 hour shifts so I feel the need to take care of the cleaning, dishes, laundry, bathing dogs, floors, and taking care of our one year old son. I also work 20 hours a week from home (via computer) but if I skip one or two things (which happens) I feel like a disaster! We've always taken one of his off days and cleaned the house together (which is super fantastic) but it always leaves me feeling guilty like it's my responsibility to do the cooking, cleaning, and everything else in the home. Sometimes it just feels overwhelming to take care of our very movile baby all day, get my work done, and keep up with everything else. Am I wrong for thinking this way or should I be doing most of the work at home? Also...anyone have any tips to get into a routine cleaning plan? I feel like after a year of being at home I should have this down pat but I feel like a disaster!!!

Answer 1

Yes I feel that way sometimes as well. I dont work but I am looking for a job online. I go to school online i take care of everything needed while my bf works.

Sometimes you might feel like you dont do enough but you do. I think that we all have our days. The easiest thing I have come up with for cleaning is lol I mop and sweep while everyone is sleeping or gone, I do dishes each time I use them so there isnt as much, I hav emy husband give the baby a bath because they get to play and have fun splashing and squirting each other with the toys, trust me they love it. when im done cooking if the pan will stick I soak it right away so that it is easy to clean.  

Answer 2

Hi there,

I know were you are comming from i feel like that all the time but the difference is i have 2 kids one is 2 and the other is 4 months.

My routine is get the two boys fed and into clean clothes get the little one settled put the 2 year old infront of the telly with colouring in books.

Get a washing on, get the dishes done, make the beds

Put the wet washing out or in the tumble dryer.

Get the kids the lunch get the little on settled again

Get another washing in, do the lunch dishes,do the hoovering, dusting, and clean the kitchen and bathroom.

Make dinner get the two boys fed and in a bath get the little one over

Play with my 2 year old read him a story and into bed

Get the dinner dishes washed get the washing put by

then eventually sit down and have some me time.

Answer 3

http://www.flylady.net/

i just started maternity leave last week but am feeling like you already. baby is due in 5 weeks, but i feel like c**p when hubby comes home and everything is not perfect. mine works long hours too. i think they realize though that your just not bumming around all day. i gave a link to the flylady. she has all sorts of great tips to help keep house clean without having to clean for hours.  

Answer 4

Okay I feel the same way, if I don't do everything that needs to be done I feel like I have failed in a way. Even though I run a in home daycare and take care of our 5 month old, cooking, cleaning, everything that needs to be done in the house. I don't think that we should have to do this alone. My spouse works 12 hour days to but I just feel like he expects me to do everything and that it's my job. I have been trying to let go a little, not everything needs to be perfect all the time. You should ask him to do a few things during the week to help out whether it be laundry, cook dinner, or just give you a couple hours to go shopping by yourself. About the housecleaning schedule what I do is get on my computer and it has a spot for chorelists that are already made and I make a daily and weekly list. It helps from everything building up into one day and keeps the house looking good all the time with less effort, I just check it off when it's done. Like monday i vaccuum and sweep, tuesday I mop and dust, wednesday, take the garbage out and clean up the nursery, etc. Good Luck

Answer 5

I definitely understand how you feel.  My husband works and I'm at home with our 11 month old plus I am currently 34 weeks pregnant.  It has been tough to keep up with all the household chores so I had to kind of learn how to let go of some of my responsibility.  I also thank my husband for the type of relationship we have because we don't put labels on who's job is more important.  He knows that I do what I can to the best ability that I can and vice versa.  When I am slacking, he steps in and the same for him.  We are a team and we have to work together.  Have you talked to him and seen how he feels about everything?  That may help you feel somewhat better about the contributions that you do make.  Hope this helps.  Feel free to contact me if you would like to chat more. :)

Answer 6

I'm a SAHM/WAHM of 2 kids..2yr old and 9 mo old...and my hubby works all day also.  I know how you feel when things don't get done the way you want or that you feel it's your job to do it all.  But just b/c he works and brings the income in, doesn't mean you have to be the mom, maid, babysitter and more.  Get a routine that works best for you and do things like dishes everyday, laundry on mon, wed and fri.'s, sweeping on tues. and thurs and so forth, that way you don't feel overwhelmed w/the whole house every single day.  One of my routines is that the kids get up, I feed them, I let them play and I might crochet for bout an hour, then I get up and clean the kitchen and do dishes, I'll do a load of laundry, make lunch, while they eat I will do laundry or pick up, then it's nap time...during this time I will do my ebay work and all the quiet stuff I can do, then they wake up and I'll do more laundry and pick up and then hubby comes home and he makes dinner and I get to relax.  I believe as long as the dishes are done and most things are picked up and laundry is decent..then you shouldn't worry yourself.  Yes he brings in the paycheck and you stay home..but it's cheaper to have you home to do a few things and take care of the baby than to have the kid in daycare.  Don't stress out and he needs responsibilities also of doing things.  My hubby takes trash out, cleans bathroom, cooks and on weekends helps w/cleaning.

Answer 7

I feel like a disaster too but I don't feel guilty.

You work 20 hours a week and take care of your child and you do everything else at home so it's bound to feel overwhelming.

You should cut yourself a break and your husband should cook every so often.  I assume he doesn't work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week, right?

He can cook and clean on his days off too.  :-)

I recently had to step back and ask my husband to do more.  Right now he's cooking dinner for us!  Wooo hooooo!