Stay at home moms...help...how do YOU do it?

Question

I have a 6 year old and a 4 month old. I just started staying home full time when my 4 month old was born. I am SO overwhelmed!I can't seem to get anything done...breakfast, lunch, dinner, laundry, cleaning, baths, and bedtime (Not to mention actually spending quailty time with my husband and kids). I just can't do it all. Do any of you have this down pat? Can you give me an idea of how your days go so that I might be able to stay sane?? Thank you so much!

Answer 1

I only have a 2 year old and it is hard.  Forget about trying to be perfect, I tried it and it leaves you drained.  Do as much as you can but if certain things don't get done oh well.  Don't be afraid to accept help.  I don't know if your kids nap but if they do instead of doing more chores during nap time, take a break(eat, nap, take a shower).  What helped me was to just get out of the house, go to a park, one that has a fenced in play area so you don't worry about your 6 year old and you can sit with the little one, go between 12 and 2, that's when other mommys go and you can at least talk to someone.  I started making dates with friends or neighbors that have kids and we meet for lunch or at the park or whatever and it is so refreshing to know people that can relate to you.  So start making friends, it is important for you to talk to adults also.  My hubby also tries to take the baby somewhere when he gets home to give me a break and sometimes I take that time to catch up on chores which is easier to do with no kids and faster.  So see if your hubby is willing to help you out when he gets home.

Answer 2

ok when you cook  meals if you make Lasagna or special dishes make double so you can freeze one meal. Don't stress if your house isn't spotless because it really doesn't matter, doing the laundry and the dishes are the most important so do them each day first. If you need, do a day plan and work on one room per day other than that just keep things picked up off the floor, its more stress full if you put to many expectations upon yourself life does get less hectic in time, but now is not the time to expect to be a miracle mother/housekeeper/lover, just except your human and spend time with your children.

Answer 3

the best piece of advice you will ever get. think about it. please.

"you dont know what you've got until it's gone" believe me.

i know it. in a different, more painful, way.  

Answer 4

First you need to give yourself a break. You can't do it all. My husband and I divide and conquer. I find I can do more cleaning in 2 hours if nobody else is home then trying to clean when they are. Also, NOBODY has a perfect house AND little kids - not possible. Just prioritize and enjoy your life. Your kids will never remember if the kitchen floor was clean but they will remember having fun with a relaxed mom and dad. Figure out what you can get accomplished in the time you have while enjoying your life and accept that as "good enough for now". When your kids are grown you'll have lots of time to clean.

Answer 5

You have to have routine. You can not be on the phone all day nor watch t.v. (not saying you do) Each day has its own routine. Do things while your kids are napping that you can't when they are awake. think about dinner (supper) time at breakfast and don't wait until its that time to put food on the table. Do Landry everyday. You can do things while they wash. Fold clothes directly FROM the dryer while they are hot, that will save you ironing time. Get your 6 year old to be responsible too. One toy at a time, one game at a time, no new games/toys unless the old ones are put away. Once you start thinking in this way, your Mother instinct will kick in and you'll do great.

Most of all don't panic. Your a Mother and your trying to live like you use to. Can't do that! Just get yourself organized and write out that routine for each day. Stick to it and soon you'll be adding things to it...good luck!

Answer 6

You CAN'T DO IT ALL.  And not to be mean, but usually husbands of SAHMs think now that all they have to do is get up get dressed and go to work.  Then they come home from work "exhausted" and take a snooze before dinner, right?  mine does.....We've been married for 10 years and we have 3 boys, ages 9, 7 1/2, 3 1/2.  I remember when I had 2 at home both in diapers!!!  AHHH!

Here are a few suggestions and insights.  The baby should have quiet/nap time at 10am and again starting between 1-2pm and should last anywhere from 1 1/2-4 hours depending on eating/growth spurts.  Remember, babies need "down time" and sleep to grow.  Nobody ever died from crying is a familiar motto in our house.  Babies sometimes need to cry as they get over-stimulated.  As always a mother knows if the cry if "off" --- but I really do believe that a baby does need to acquire the skill of "self soothing".

Bathing - Suggestion is to take a bath/shower at night with one or both of the kids for the time being.  Sometimes it's all we can do to keep ourselves and others clean. OR, ask hubby to take over the older child while you bath with baby AT nighttime.

IF you are breastfeeding, the food/meal part is difficult.  Nobody ever died from eating the same thing for awhile.  Like instant oatmeal, fruit and milk for breakfast, PB&J or grilled cheese with veggies for lunch.  Dinner, well, you might want to look into some frozen lasagnas and hamburgers and easy stuff- crockpot meals for awhile until you feel like you can get into the groove more.

Laundry -- UGH!!!! Start a Load the first thing you do in the morning and at least get THAT one load dried, folded and put away.  Even if it's small, just do it.  

Now, if you can afford it hire a housekeeper to come in once every other week.  That is your ONE and ONLY day off.  It truly is wonderful.  I have done this off and on over the years and recently started again after a 2 year break of not having one.  IT is a GODSEND!  This is something to fight for, in my opinion.

Once school starts I think you will find yourself forced into some sort of schedule.  You'll make it.  It's hard, you'll get through it. I will list a couple of websites that I use to inspire me sometimes. Hope this helps

PS - all of my kids do chores. they start at age 2, putting the dish towels away, picking up after dogs, putting their own laundry away, taking trash out to garbage can and to curb on trash day, recycling, switching loads from washer to dryer and starting it when asked. This years they will be adding K.P. duty to their schedule for dinnertime. Obviously they clean their own rooms when "asked".

Answer 7

MAKE OUT A SCHEDULE AND STICK TO IT

Answer 8

well i am a stay at home mom and first start with get the kids on a schule then do stuff why they are sleeping and why your hubby is at work then at night you can spend time with the kids and your hubby then whe nthe kids go to bed then it is you and your hubbys time

Answer 9

homes is an idiot (sorry) he/she has apparently never been around kids schedules NEVER work unless your children r perfect (wich i doubt they r bc no child is perfect) my mom manages 6 kids ages 11mons-13 and works nights. the only way she gets through it is play dates sleepovers and her husband. some of the kids spend the day or nite at a friends we have TONS of toys to play with and parks inbetween it all mothers helpers help to (me being almost 14 helps alot to but since your oldest is 6 i suggest a mothers helper) it works for my mom cause shes not dead (yet) lol hope that helped

Answer 10

First of all...u dont need to do it alone....im sure ur husband is quite capable of helping you out...and ur wee 6 yr old can also help...even if it means just putting his/her toys away.

Secondly, dont have a schedual...they never work...something always crops up....just do what u can when u can....if people r expecting miracles out of u, tell them 2 hire u a nanny and 3 maids.

There is no point in stressing urself out over the dusting and vaccuming....make sure u sit down and have a cup of tea or coffee and a bite 2 eat then if u feel up 2 it...carry on with whatever u can

Answer 11

I have a 5 yr old with autism a 3.5 yr old and a 2 yr old and am a stay at home mom. I try to make things ahead of time. One night I will make a huge batch of scrambled eggs with meat and veggies and pancakes and then freeze them. They are easy to make in a hurry. In the summer I try to keep them outside as much as possible in the summer and try to find activities for inside in the winter. Wish ya the best of luck I know how hard it can be sometimes.