Stay at home moms!?

Question

My son is 10 months and my husband works all day so I am here alone. I have no friends or family in this state. I love that I can be a SAHM trust me but now my son is 10 months old and into everything sometimes I feel like all day is just sitting getting him out of stuff. Even though I am home I still can get NOTHING done bc he just crawls to me or cries if I am away. How to you cope to do daily things and keep your sanity?

Answer 1

It's no picnic being a SAHM is it!!

The way I kept my sanity is to make sure everything he could break or damage is out of his reach or put away (or does it really matter?) and then just let him have free roam of the house. That way you don't have to keep pulling him off things and telling him "no" all the time.

And if he makes a mess, don't worry about the mess. It will keep him happy for 10 minutes so enjoy those ten minutes and clean up later.

Try some things like: give him a bucket of water and let him get soaked while you do a few things. Is there anywhere in the house or outside he can do that?

What about an educational DVD (like BAby Einstein)? I used to put it on when I wanted to eat my breakfast unmolested.

When it boils down to it, you have to reach a compromise between how much daily things you want to get down and how much you are prepared to put up with a whinging baby to do it.

So maybe you can get a few of those things done and try to put up with his whinging and crying while you do it. If he is safe and can see you, he won't come to any harm.

And maybe you can think: "well, some of those things aren't really that important so I can spend a bit of time now with him to make him happy".

Yes, you need to try to keep your baby happy. But you also need to try to keep yourself happy too if that means keeping a tidy house and other things. A 10m old baby is not too young to start realising that mum sometimes has things to do that take her away from him for a little while.

But it is hard. It's amazing how much time a baby takes up in the day isn't it. I was totally unprepared for it when I had my first child.

Hope you find it gets easier soon.

Answer 2

Have an area where he can have toys, pots pans, spoons.. can make some noise but can't get into everything... somewhere he can see you while you get your chores done... let him cry here and there.. no longer than 5 minutes.. then walk over calm him down and continue doing what you need to do... he'll soon realise that hey mummy doesn't come on demand any more... (on demand is when he cries) .. he is fine.. turn some music on and sing to him... With my daughter.. i do my house work in the morning while she plays with her toys etc.... then after 1 hour i spend time with her or take her to play groups/park/swimming etc. When she has her lunch time nap i either relax or get the cooking done. the afternoons are for me and her. Good luck. Let him cry a  little it wont hurt him.. he needs to be able to play by him self.... dont run to him as soon as he cries.. let him cry for a little while.. go and sit near him.. dont always pick him up when he's crying.. he'll only cry once you put him down again. Just distract him.

You probably notice.. the more restless and cranky he gets the more tired he is

Answer 3

Being a stay-at-home mom is a wonderful gift and comes with it's own set of challenges :)

Some ideas to help maintain your sanity and peace...

*designate a baby-safe room - pick aroom in your house (living room or family room) and designate that as the general play area.  Baby gates work wonderfully in doorways, with outlet/ electrical plug covers on all unused electrical plugs - and cord covers on those being used - keeps little hands from pulling cords out and/ or accidentally getting electrocuted.  Another thought is that it's a good idea to get down on your hands and knees and look at the room from his point of view - amazing what we can miss that they see, crawling around on all 4s :)  Keep all breakables up and well out of reach (think 2 year old when you do this, so you don't have to do it again in a couple of months *grin*)  Make sure none of the furniture can tip if pulled up on, as your little guy starts cruising and pulling up on things - if anything seems like it might tip, you can get furniture straps at hardware stores, baby stores, etc - This helps keep the room safe and baby/ toddler friendly.

Next, set up a toy area - you can use rubbermaid or sterilite plastic storage containers that come with lids (very handy, and not only makes the containers easily stackable, but also keeps inquisitive little hands from dumping everything out at once and making a huge mess! *grin*

Now that your room is set up, you can plan to spend a couple of hours a day in that room with your little one, playing, or even resting where he can play and keep an eye on you :)  it also helps keep the rest of the house from being torn apart and cluttered up by a roaming crawler...

Next step, make a schedule and stick as close to it as you can - even if the schedule is just mealtimes, nap time, and bed time.  Structure is very important - and if a baby (even one who can't tell time, they have an internal clock of sorts) knows that mealtime is coming soon, naptime or bedtime, they have a sense of security that babies without structure don't have.  Babies can safely have an hour to two hour nap in the afternoon - or some babies nap for an hour in the morning and again in the afternoon - based on your child's sleep needs, plan a routine around that :)  You can take an hour a day (you might not need the full hour, either) to clean house, do extra baking, read a book, take a bubble bath - just be sure to keep an ear out for your little one if he wakes up and needs you.

If he isn't used to a schedule, it may take some adjusting - but you'll be so glad you went to the effort of making it work! :)  Nap time allows you a rest, or time to clean up around the house, or time to play or do something of interest to YOU that your little one would have no interest in...

The first year, especially with the first baby, can be rough - you're learning to be a mom, while also being a wife - taking care of your home, and possibly having some friend-time...  

Another idea I would highly recommend, if you haven't already, is to reach out to other moms of little ones...  there are MOPS groups nationwide (mothers of preschoolers - this is for infant through preschool age) - do a google and search for MOPS and your state to find a group in your area :)

There are MOM groups (moms on the move - a stroller group - moms who get out with their little ones in strollers and go for walks together)

You can also look for other young moms at your church or community center or possibly through your husband's work - does he work with other new dads whose wives might like to make friends with another mom of a little one?  This not only gives you social time, it also gives your little one social time, and someone new to play with :)  Babies LOVE other babies :)

Reach out and find some other young moms to connect with - designate a set "baby play zone" in your house (this of course doesn't mean your child shouldn't be allowed in other parts of the house - it just designates a play area, to help keep the rest of the house clutter free and tidy).

Enjoy these baby days - they go so fast :)  And the memories are wonderful to look back on (and on and on and on...  *grin*)

HTH!

Answer 4

we go out often...to the park, the library, the grocery store....even if I have nothing to buy...it helps break the monotony...and is fun for him...I get him to 'help' me with things around the house or at the store...I work on his cognative development...I do housework while he is both napping and when he is awake...he will follow me and we will do the laundry together...he just wants to spend time with you...so anything you do that includes him will be fine.

Answer 5

you need to start finding things to keep him busy.  Blocks, puzzles, a walking toy, etc.  be creative!  See if you can find a local moms group (search the net, yahoo groups, momsclub.org)  for when you want to get out the house.  Come to mommy-talk.com and ask other moms, great site!

Answer 6

I have three kids under the age of 4, so trust me, I know how you feel.  I'm also a stay-at-home mom.  We are military, so we don't live anywhere near my family and friends.

At 10 months, its just important to make your house as kiddy-safe as possible.  If you have locks on doors and cabinets, he shouldn't be able to get into too much.

When my son was that age, I just learned to have him "help" with whatever I needed done.  If I needed to clean the kitchen, then my son would sit in the high chair with some wooden spoons.  He got to make "music" while I did the dishes.  We were both happy.  I also took advantage of snack time and such.  While he's eating some cheerios, you could mop the kitchen floor or whatever.  With every new phase of a child's development, parents have to learn to adapt.  Its just the way things go.  You'll get the hang of it soon.  Then he'll start walking and you'll REALLY be in trouble.  lol

Also, have you considered gettting a small part-time job outside the home?  Just work when your husband is off so that you can get out of the house, have some adult interaction and make a little extra income as well.  Its pocket money to spend doing fun activities with your son if nothing else.  I worked Saturdays only at my local flower shop.  It was perfect for my situation.

Answer 7

Its a tough, but wonderful thing being a SAHM! I am home all day with a 4 year old and twin two year olds. What I always try to do is make sure that the house is baby proof enough or have a designated room for your little one. Our living room is 100% toddler proof, so I can leave them in there with crayons, toys, a movie and get a few things done. Try giving your son plastic spoons and dishes to play with in the kitchen while you do things, a stack of towels to "fold" while you do laundry ect.. The most important thing is to break up your day. Take a walk, play outside together and try to enjoy your time at home. When I am feeling weighed down by my kids I try to plan a fun activity like baking or playing a game in the yard. It helps me slow down and appreciate being home. If you don't take care of yourself, you will resent being a SAHM. So make sure you carve some time for yourself, either in the AM, PM or at nap time. Read a book, take a bath, zone out, exercise. These are all important things that are easily forgotten when you are home with a little one! Hope this helped!

Answer 8

Ohhh honey... I remember when my first daughter was that age, and I'd be crying on the phone to my mother while my husband was at work.  Its very hard when they are getting into everything, but dont understand boundaries yet.  All I can say is to baby-proof your house as much as possible.  I bought a big cabinet with locking doors to keep things in.  Movies, books, anything that was normally in her reach that she liked to drag all over the house.  It helped a lot!  You could also get a baby carrier, and just let him ride around on your back or your chest while you get things done.  You can talk to him, sing to him, dance with him, while he is in the carrier.  He'll get the mental stimulation of seeing you do things, and hearing you talk to him, but he wont be able to get into stuff.

Other than baby-proofing, and trying to wear him in a carrier as much as he will let you, I cant imagine there is much else you can do.  Its a phase where you have to chase them A LOT!  They do eventually grow out of it!  My oldest daughter is 3 now, and she wants to play alone, or with her friends most of the time.  I find myself wishing she'd want MY attention again, lol.  But I've got a 2 month old daughter now, so I know that in a few months, I'll be bawling again about how I cant take my eyes off of her for 2 seconds.

This too will pass my dear.  And someday, you'll miss it, lol.  Hard to imagine, I know.