Stay at home mothers: How can you afford it?

Question

I keep seeing answers over and over saying that they rely heavily on a double income for their families. I'm curious - do your husbands support the family fully or do you do any work from the home (piano lessons, tutoring, etc.)? The reason I ask is that I can't see myself being able to support a family on my man's income alone. Perhaps he doesn't make enough? hahaha :P

Answer 1

Like others have said, it's all about choices.  We purposely left New Jersey, when we were expecting our first child.  We moved to North Carolina, where for the same price as our NJ condo, we could afford a house that was twice as big, and on a half acre of land.  We lived within our means, and didn't drive expensive cars.  We used frequent flier miles to take trips, and pay for hotels.  We used the library, rented movies, didn't have 600 channels from the cable company, etc.

Answer 2

well my mom tried that when she had the baby but she has to get a job now or we will have a hard knock life for the rest of our lives

Answer 3

I don't have kids, and I never will!

Answer 4

um im in a family of 5 my dads a lawyer my doesnt work were livin life happy thank god

Answer 5

When my mom was at home, she gave piano lessons at night at $11 an hour. As far as I know, that money was only for her, since my dad made pretty good money for all of us as an HR manager. But my mom didn't like being a homemaker, so she went back to school (smartest thing she's ever done).

Answer 6

My husband earns a good salary, which is perfectly adequate to support the four of us (five if you count the hamster).  But even if he didn't, I would have to be in a position to get a job where I was earning very good money in order to be able to afford childcare and have something left over.

for instance, assuming I got a job working regualar office hours, it would cost £60 a week (about $120) to keep both my sons in the after-school club.  Then there would be the question of what to do with them in the school holidays, that wouldn't come cheap either.

Since I never earned much above the minimum wage when I was working, I doubt I'd make much of a profit if I did go back to work.  Even assuming I could get a job, which I would think unlikely in the extreme.

Answer 7

It helps that my husband has a very good job but that aside. We are not materialistic people so we are not constantly buying new and better things.  We only have one vehicle which is all we need. We do not buy disposable diapers( we use cloth only) and I do not use convenience foods. I do most of our food shopping at our local farmer's market. We do not feel deprived at all but very rich that we can raise our children ourselves.

If you really want to stay home you can do it.

Answer 8

I am lucky to be supported by my man with his good earnings and I take care of my kids....running here and there with them for their classes.

Answer 9

I am a single stay at home- studying, and looking after my daughter.  I wouldn't be able to support us if I worked, the childcare here is so expensive.  I am lucky enough to live in a country that has a pretty good social security system.  I use  the time I have while staying at home to work towards the career I will have when my daughter goes off to school.

I paid my taxes before this, and I will be paying them after- I don't see the problem in accepting a hand from the government.  I receive the same amount in pension payments as I would were I to work full-time in an entry-level job- only I don't have to pay half of that into child-care fees (which are at about AU$250/week.- US$275)  

There is a double-edged sword to this though: There are people who have babies for the money, without ever planning to work- and if you have 4 or 5, you do make a good living out of it.  I don't agree with it, but I'd much rather have this problem than have no safety net at all.

I do have to think carefully about what I purchase.  I have a tight budget, and I stick to it.  No take-outs, no impulse buys, etc.  It can be done.

Edit: What's with the thumbs down?

Answer 10

i wonder that too it's obviously not a choice everyone has.

Answer 11

I stay at home because i want to bring up my own child because that is why i had her in the first place and luckily for me my husband has a good job with good pay!!

Answer 12

It's not a question of whether she can afford it.

It's a question of whether or not her husband can afford to keep her.

In most cases if they could get the 'stay at home' part right, it wouldn't be too bad.

But they expect cars and shopping for clothes and many other things which are non-essential to child-rearing. This puts an unreasonable burden on her husband's income.

Answer 13

Some women stay home because it is cheaper to lose her income than it is to pay for daycare.

I think usually the husband supports the mother and child, if they are fortunate enough to have a decent job.

Otherwise, I'm sure lots of mothers run their own daycare or do things to make some money on the side.

Answer 14

We make it primarily on my husband's income, and I've got investments and a little something in a bank somewhere...The thing is, you've really got to decide what you're going to spend your money on, what's really important, and cut out those impulse buys and those trips to restaurants...take care of the stuff you do have so you aren't replacing things constantly...it's hard to do sometimes...

Answer 15

Here are some things I have done over the years to enable me to stay home with 3 children:

Careful budgeting, avoiding impulse buys, knowing the trade off between cost and convenience.   Gardening and freezing helps control food costs, and simply cooking at home instead of eating out reduces expenses.  Even coffee is much cheaper to make at home  than to buy it on the run.  

Baking cookies is a double bonus...it serves as entertainment, and you get twice the number of cookies for the same price when you bake your own --and no preservatives!

Driving a used car instead of new, limiting luxury items like cable TV packages, cell phone packages, etc.

For entertainment, a hike in a state park is free, local memberships to museums or small water parks are worth their weight in gold, but the big parks are a rare luxury expense.  Public library.... also worth it's weight in GOLD!

Waiting for a first run movie to hit PPV so we can all watch it together for $5 plus $1 for a box of microwave popcorn.  If we went out to the movies together, it would cost $40, sans snacks.  I refuse to pay theater prices for popcorn.

It boils down to lifestyle choices.  You just have to think, instead of spending.