Stay at home vs Return to work? My husband and I are deciding which is best.?

Question

Has anybody any advice regarding the choice between staying home with the kids or returning to work? I am due to have a baby girl in August, and already have a 3 year old son. My husband and I were looking at local options for infant childcare, and not getting any warm and fuzzy feelings. Plus, our work schedules are nutty enough that we may be best served to have someone come to our home as a live out nanny, which is pricey, it eats up a good chunk of a second salary. We both make generous incomes, and both of our employer's offer fully paid benefits. My son starts Pre K in the fall, so that means one of us would need to transport him there in morning and pick him up at noon, our town has no bussing. This makes a nanny better, as the nanny could do that, as well as care for the baby. With all these issues, my husband asked if it was worthwhile for me to return right off. It would be a huge adjustment for me. Has anybody else a story similar? Or tips?

Answer 1

I worked full time for about 50 hours a week.  I tried to go back for about 2 weeks and I couldn't bare to leave my daughter with the babysitter.  I was only making about $1000 a month on top of paying the babysitter just to work.  For me the $1000 a month was not worth it, so I stayed home.  It is so nice because now we can plan around my hubby's holidays and be able to actually get time together as a family because we really only have to follow his schedual.  If you have any doubts about leaving your children somewhere, stay at hom and enjoy a bit of time off.  You can always go back to work, but your babies are only little for so long.

Answer 2

Only you can make that choice. Obviously your finances are going to play a part in this.  If I had kids and it could be done, I would choose to stay at home with them.  My sister and her husband both work and they put their kids (4 and 2) in daycare, and they are always coming home with ear infections and other illnesses.  Plus my sister is missing out on time with them she will never get back.  Also, this way you can instill the values you want your child to have, instead of others.  These are their formative years.

I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide.

Answer 3

All I can say is from my own personal experience.

I would do ANYTHING to be able to stay home and raise my son.  I'm a single mom, I have to work to provide for myself and Johnny.  But it tears me up to leave him in someone else's care while I work.  

And if your daycare is going to be eating up a good chunk of what you would make while you are at work.... Then what's the point of working?  Unless you are the type of person that really needs adult interaction during the day.  

I don't know.  It's a hard question to answer.  I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

My fiance makes excellent wages. I was making a nice figure too but my job was more dangerous, stressful, and difficult. We talked in length when I was 5 months pregnant and retired from my line of work due to health issues, but I got a 2nd job that was just as good. After some long disscussions. We really decided we can do fine on one salary. I have to cut my spending way down, we buy generic, we use coupons now, we bargain shop, and dont go on out of country vacations for awhile. I got to stay home with my daughter full time. It is the most rewarding thing ever. I see her grow, I know what shes eating, what shes doing, whats happening. She has had only ONE eye infection... otherwise one 7 day bought with the flu in her 15 months of life. We only see the doctor for checkups and vacs.. That has been wonderful. I raised my brothers daughter for 3 years and she was in daycare, and I think everyother week I had to go pick her up for a fever, or some infection. We were at the doctors constantly. I HATED daycares and I changed them like underwear. I ended up paying my cousin through the nose to watch her.

I wouldn't go back to work unless I needed the cash flow.... Its tight, budget and animals and all but we are making due. Though I spend less a week doing it myself than on gas to take her to day care, drive to work, daycare dues, doctor visits, snacks for daycare, and gas to drive home. Plus if you breast feed you dont have to worry about work and in turn make less milk. It was so nice to just walk around the house in PJ bottoms and nothing else!!! I was in a better mood, I make dinner EVERY night now, we eat healthier than ever cause I have TIME to make good food. Not bring home burgers and fries or something quick. Clothes are washed and pressed, house is clean and I dont pay anyone to do it!!! So in the long run if you can budget you can do it on one salary. It will benefit you and your kids and even your husband, not to mention pets!!!! My animals love I am home more now too!! I am sure of it.

Answer 5

Why doesn't your husband stay home and you go back to work?  Or better yet, why don't you both work?  If you can afford to live on just one income and you want to, then one of you can stay home.  But if not, you're better off working.

Answer 6

When this happened to me and and my wife I "went out for cigarettes." Let me tell you....my life got a whole lot easier. I wonder how they are doing sometimes. Who am I kidding? No I don't.

Answer 7

try it out for a bit and see how it works.  some people LOVE staying at home with their children.  some people feel really rewarded in their careers, and value the relief an extra income can bring to their families.  try it out, and see what happens.  but in either decision, don't let someone let you think you're a bad mom! if staying at home doesn't work for you, then work.  if working doesn't work for you, stay at home.

Answer 8

Between day care and a nanny, I would go with the nanny.  

I wouldn't make up your mind now though. See how you feel while you're on maternity leave.  

I'm a SAHM and i love it.  I did public relations before and made a good income, but i don't miss working at all.  My husband is in real estate and we're able to live off his income. we're just more budget conscious than we were before.  

If you love your job and would miss it, then I recommend you stay with it. (you can quit at anytime!).  Get a nanny. If down the road, you feel you made the wrong decision then you can very easily change your mind.

Answer 9

I'm currently going through the same situation.  My husband and I both my generous income's and I would love nothing more than to stay home with the baby but it would be too much of a financial loss to stop working however all the childcare we have been seeing is extremely costly.  My current commute is about 2 hours into the city so Im probably going to try to find a job closer to home and we are trying to find any friends or relatives that are retired and want to make some extra money.  We figure we trust this person and we can pay them half of what we would pay a service.  The idea is still up in the air but if you can afford it, stay home.  I wish I could give up my income but bills are too high and even with a large income it wouldnt suffice.

Good luck with your decision.  I hope this answer helped.