Stealing Problems? 6 year old?

Question

As a lot of you know I have been having problems with my six year old son and stealing. In the past month, he has done it three times. The first time he took five dollars out of his father's wallet. He was spanked. The second time he did the same thing to his grandmother. We made him go admit to his grandmother what he had done and offer to do chores (and of course give the money back) then again he was spanked. After the third time we realized the spanking was not working. Right now he has lost pretty much all privleages. He is not allowed to swim in our pool for a week, we took his video game, and all electronics and toys he plays with out of his room. I just wanted to ask again if any of you had this problem, and what you did to solve it?

Answer 1

he sounds awful young for this kind of behavior, so i would keep the counseling in mind. usually kids that young don't even know the exact process of acquiring money=buying items=gratification, you see? 1/2 of the students doesn't even know the right coin for particular amounts. so i don't think it is about money itself. he hasn't seen someone else doing it right? and it has only been money? or has it been other items?  i don't think giving him "more allowance" would solve the problem, he has stolen it so he will think if he does it again you will again give him more. i also don't think giving him the option for more chores for more money is the solution either. i think you should concentrate on the "stealing" aspect only right now. i bet if you sat down with him and played pretend store, he wouldn't know how much change to receive, how much to give (almost every time). he may know  small amounts, but not exactly how much to get back. that tells you right there that he is taking it because we wants to take it. not because he is "saving "for  a a particular thing, etc. i had this problem with my 9 yr old. after 3 times, i called the local police department.  i explained the situation, told them it was the 3rd time. they sent an officer down, he came to the house, with his lights on, and knocked on my door. he said in an intimidating tone, asked for my son, "i need you to come with me son." he did the whole works. he played it up  great. asked him if he was going to cooperate or if he should use the cuffs, etc. my son looked at my like" omg, mom what are you going to do???" and it was one of the hardest things, but i just said," i love you! i hope they are easy. i told him to talk to the police and let them know he would never do it again. these werent' items from a store either. they were things from the neighbor, his grandpa's and his friends. he took him in the cop car and said" sorry, son criminals don't ride in the front". and he was great!  my son (actually step-son) is now going on 16 and he still remembers that and he has never stolen anything again. he also figured out that day that when he makes ignorant decisions, he will not be bailed out everytime by his parents. very good lesson! the whole thing took about 20 min, it was worth it!!!

Answer 2

First, keep up with the punishments. He needs to know stealing is wrong, and not acceptable.

I would also, question your son, in a non threating way, why he wants the money. What does he want to use it for?

Understanding this, may help you come up with a plan to prevent him from stealing.

Perhaps setting up a weekly allowance would help.  This would give your son his own money, to do with as he pleases. If he wants to toy, then he can save up for it. If he wants to buy mommy/daddy a gift he can...

Think about it from your child's perspective: He asks, "Can I have it?"

Mommy/Daddy says, "No."

Your child has NO control. Providing him with a way, in which he has a little control may be all he needs.

If your son is receiving an allowance, you can simply say, "You can have it if you enough to buy it. How much do you have?"

Son, "$3"

Parent, "Oh, it's $20. You'll need to save your money and maybe next time you can get it."

Son, "HOW MUCH IS THIS?!" - The money may burn a hole in his pocket.

This  could teach your son how to save. Which most adults do not know how to do. Most adults pull out the credit card to buy, instead of saving up the money to pay in cash. Teach your son how to save, and not go into debt. :)

Answer 3

I think you're on the right path.  Just be very consistent w/ the punishment.    If he does it again, up the stakes.  Make the punishment longer, take the tv, make him do some work (age appropriate, of course!).  If he continues, maybe you should seriously consider counseling.  He could be acting out for a reason.  Are there any other behavioural issues?  Does he seem depressed or angry, anything else out of the norm?

Answer 4

You've listed all of the consequences that you son has recieved, but have you talked to him yet? First about why stealing is wrong and how it hurts the people he steals from, then about why he is doing it. Six is pretty young to be stealing, so it might not be for the reason you expect.

Talk to him, if he does it again  take something else away, but talk to him again. Each time make him apologize while looking the person he stole from in the eye, and return the money. Add extra chores, and keep talking. If he continues doing it, you might want to consider talking to a child psychologist, or even just his pediatrician.

I hope things work out for you and he stops the stealing. Good luck.

Answer 5

Lose the spanking and be consistent with all other punishments.  Make VERY certain you do make a clear distinction between the behavior which is not acceptable and the child who IS acceptable and lovable and very dear to you.

Answer 6

If the spanking is not working stop it all together. Try giving him specific chores to earn money. Tell him to empty trash, feed pets...etc... and let him earn it. If he gets a regular allowance for his chores he may be less likely to steal.

Answer 7

He is acting out for some reason.  Maybe for attention even if negative.  The best solution is in constant reiteration of good behavior versus bad behavior.  At that age they need to be told a few times.  Reward good behavior and make sure you point out when things are good.  This helps children when it comes to realizing they seem to get more privledges upon good behavior.  Stay consistent and steadfast so they never doubt the lines of good and bad.

Answer 8

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