Step Parents? Step Children?

Question

Step Parents- Do your step children call you Mom or Dad, Step Mom or Step Dad, or do they call you by your real name?

Step Children- Do you call your step parents Mom or Dad, Step Mom or Step Dad, or do you call them by their real name?

Answer 1

After my husband and I were engaged, I told my step daughters that they could call me whatever they wanted, as long as it was a nice name. They immediately called me "Mom." Honestly it didn't feel right but I told them it was their choice. When they got home to their Mother's house... she told them to call me by my name and that was all. I am fine with that too.

Answer 2

My stepdaughter calls me by my name when she's talking to me or about me.  She sometimes calls me 'dad's wife' when talking about me to someone else -or- 'my stepmom'.

Answer 3

My fiance and I will be married in October. My kids are 12, 7 and 2. They call him by his name and I can't see that changing once we get married. It really depends on whether the other parent is in the children's lives or not and how young they are when you get married. I would never tell my kids they have to call my husband 'Dad'. But if they wanted to, he would be honored by it.

Answer 4

My daughter, 3 yrs old, calls her step-dad "daddy, and her sperm donor "my other daddy".  He's baically disappeared from her life and only recently has he seen her for a few hours.  When we first met her stepdad I made her call him by his given name, though she tried to call him daddy immediately as she wanted what his daughter had!  About 6 months ago she asked if she could call him Daddy.  I was happy she felt comfortable enough to ask and he was honored.  

My 4 yr old stepdaughter who lives with us has in the past two weeks slipped and called me momma on accident.  I told her it was okay and that she could call me whatever made her the most comfortable.  Ma, momma, mommy, or my name..it's all good.  I know part of it is the other two children in our house call me mom and she feels left out, though her mom is in her life on a sorta-semi-regular basis.  I'm happy with whatever she finally comes to decide on.  I only hope her mom doesn't influence/force her too much.  So far, I'm momma when she wants something and my real name is used when she's not so happy with me!  :)  Her choice.  

As our girls are so young, it's hard to explain the whole step-family issue to them.  I pretty much tell them they are lucky girls.  One has two daddies who love her very much, the other has two mommies who love her and hope that they turn out to be well adjusted happy children!

Answer 5

never met em  :(           they live  out of country,

Answer 6

I call my step-mother, Thea in front of her because I was an adult when they married and calling her mom would be a little odd.  We're not close, but we get along ok too.  If we're in public I'll say mother if she's around just so people won't ask questions or give me weird looks.  If people assume she's my mother, I don't correct them either.  It's easier to let it all roll LOL.

Answer 7

My step son calls me mom but my step daughter who is 15 doesn't call me anything.

Answer 8

My husbands parents are divorvced and we call his step mom and step dad by their name but our son still calls them grandma and grandpa.

Answer 9

They usually call me by my name.  I say they can call me whatever they want, as long as its respectful.

Answer 10

If they have a good and alive mother first name sounds fine to me!

Answer 11

I always called all my step moms over the years (5 so far... I'm not fond of #5 though, I hope he moves on to #6 soon) by their first names. I have a mom, she's the one and only.

Answer 12

I can actually answer both sections since I am a stepmother and a stepdaughter as well.

My stepdaughter calls me by my first name.  

I call my stepmother by her first name, or depending on how she's acting other choice words/names.  But we don't get along.

Most people use the first names unless the real parent isn't around at all.

Answer 13

I don't think my stepkids like the terms step mom or step dad.

They seem to get confused as to what to call to me so they usually just call me by my first name or when introducing me, they hesitate and stumble a little bit with, this is my step mom.  I don't care what they call me as long as it's respectful.

I want them to be comfortable.

Step family issues are so complicated. No one seems to like the use of step. It doesn't bother me.

edit: I can relate to what Jessica is saying. Sometimes people assume I'm their mom and I don't bother to correct it. It's usually out of ear shot of the kids anyway. I am kind of their mom but kind of not. It doesn't bother me but I worry that it will bother the kids.

Answer 14

My children call their step dad by his first name. My husbands children call me by my first name. As for the grandbabies...mine call him Grandpa, his call me by my first name and I hate it!!! Wish I had another word for step-grandma??

Answer 15

I have two step daughters....

They have their own mother.... and they call her mom and me by my first name.....

I married their dad when they were 4 and 10... but if they were really young - it might be different.

My opinion.... I am not offended they don't call me mom.  I have two sons and my husband remarried I wouldn't want MY children calling someone else mom.  Maybe they could do a nick name or something but I hold the mom, mommy and mother title.

Nickname like Mimi or something...

Answer 16

My step-daughter lost her mom a little over a year ago and since then she has always called me mom. I never thought she would call me mom, because she was really close to her mom, but she says that I am her motherly figure. So she calls me mom.

I love her to death!