Step dad too close with his kids?

Question

ok so i am a little worried about my step dad being to close with his kids....

so my brohter is 5 and my sister is almost 2 they have 2 differents beds but share a room

my step dad takes turns sleeping with them.

i think the last time he slept with my mm is when they had my sis

also he is very controling! he doesnt alow me to have a "sleep over" with them

which i used to always do. we each have are "own" couch and watch movies in the living room and sleep there.

and my borther who is 5 is obsessed with him. any chance he gets he is always with him. i dont no why becuase my step dad is mean to him alot of the time. but they even like snuggel.

it grosses me out.

is it normal? i dont think so but what do you think....?

if not what do i say or do that wont make him or my mom freak out?

Answer 1

You should talk with your mom, alone, about your concerns.  Do you have a good relationship with her?  If not, you should talk with a trusted adult about your concerns.

Answer 2

how old are you girl? from what you posted, you are the step kid? and your siblings are his biological children and your half siblings? right? As it mean as it sounds perhaps your stepdad is showing his preference for his biological children. The mere fact you posted this, the whole family situation at home bothers you. And you're mom should do something about it and be more concern. I suggest you talk to an aunt, grandparent about your situation or direct your mother to this post. Forget that she may get upset, at least you are bringing this serious matter to her attention.

Answer 3

Does your mother not know?  Girl, tell her..

Answer 4

Well, being very close to family is no big deal ,but in this case, him being TOO close is a little suspicious.

You should ask for the "sleepover" again and if he says no then ask why. That way, he would have to explain & he wouldn't have anything to hide.

Answer 5

It is not normal, it is very dependent and I know that sexual abuse, unfortunately does happen and is something to be aware of. Talk to your mom if you can, and of course try to ask your siblings if you have a chance. Sometimes it takes asking to know. I hope it works out for the best, it might just be he is dependent, which is hard to confront since  he is the "man of" that household. If there is abuse going on, I am sorry, but you would have to report it, like at your school if you tell a counselor she is mandated to notify authorities.

Answer 6

I have no clue whether or not he is doing something "horrible". I know some people just really love their family and I also know that some people are really sick, unfortunately. I would just really look into it before any accusations are made because that is a HUGE thing to blame somebody with.

Answer 7

This sounds very bad.  This is anything but normal.  Your Mom should already know since she has not sleap with your dad since sis was born.  Your step dad should not be allowed to sleep with them  anymore.  Your mom may have to call for help like social services or the police!

Answer 8

I think you're reading into this a little bit and jumping to conclusions. My son is 4 and he has a very close relationship with myself and my husband. We're a very affectionate family and do a lot of snuggling. My son slept in bed with us on and off for the first several years and we play musical beds a lot of the time. What I'm trying to say is that there are lots of reasons a family may have for unconventional sleeping arrangements and while it may seem suspicious to you it may be totally normal for your step dad and his kids.

Some married couples don't sleep together and they are fine with that. The thing about you having sleepovers confuses me a little bit. I'd ask your step dad directly about his reasoning on the separate couches, etc. He may have a perfectly logical reason, who knows?

If you really believe something is going on then you need to talk to your mom. Just let her know that the sleeping arrangements and rules are confusing to you and ask her to help you understand. Tell her what makes you uncomfortable and give her and your step dad an opportunity to explain. If they get defensive and angry at you then you may be onto something here. The best you can do is ask them directly and go from there.

If you have reason to believe that anyone is being abused in this situation then you need to contact cps and report it.