Step mom is splitting up with my dad, please help me?

Question

It's about money...the number one reason why couples split up. She has been paying for all of the bills, all payments, the down payment for the house, groceries, absolutely everything. My dad has been in debt since his last marriage, which was 10 years ago and he doesn't make enough money to make the payments. My step mom got money from her recent divorce and that money has all ran out so she's now in debt from him. I don't know what to do and I just moved here from across the country, I've been here for 5 days and now this is happening. She can't divorce or leave because her name is on my dad's credit cards since he has bad credit, so he can get a lower interest rate, and since she paid for the down payment on the house, 80,000 dollars, she can't just leave. She'd lose all that money and have nothing to her name. This is so awful and my dad is being very selfish. I don't know what to do. I was thinking of buying a plane ticket to back where I was living before since I have friends out there, a school I can go back to, and I can stay with my grandmother again. I just want to know what you think. Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

I would say you are on a healthy path going somewhere else you should not have to be the one to mediate. They must find their own amicable split with out putting you through what is their obviously unhealthy relationship which started long before you were in the picture. She had a divorce he had a divorce they both had situations win which they did not learn to be healthy at. So I would say get out before you are hurting in such an unhealthy life.

Answer 2

your dad needs to get a better job....thats for sure...i would definitely dump his butt if i were her....and as for you...go back to your home..you dont need to be unhappy, hes a grown man, he can take care of his self.

Answer 3

You have absolutely no control over what they do. It's an adult issue. Your father had financial issues in his first marriage and apparently he didn't learn anything and dragged them into his second marriage. You step mom is probably learning a hard learned lesson about why his first marriage didn't work. I hope that he will get some counseling for that. However, your step mom has probably been dealing with this for some time and is at her wits end. I wouldn't make a rash decision until you talk to them. Maybe it's not as bad as you think. Ask if you can talk to them and explain that you are aware that there seems to be some issues they are dealing with. Would it be better for everyone if you went back to your Grandma's until thinks get straightened out? If you feel that your being there is a burden or that you would be more comfortable some place else then go back. You seem to have resources and family to have no problem doing that. Good luck.  

Answer 4

well it really has nothing to do with you and you shouldnt get involved,,,,so i would say go back to where you know you'll be better off........

Answer 5

your dad needs a good talkin to, and a slap to the face, a father can't be selfish if he expects to be respected and loved by his wife. Even with the money problems, she may finally see that he is selfish and unwilling to change. The only thing you can do is pray for your dad... that he will swallow his selfish pride and start living for someone other than himself.

I don't know your dad... and he most likely has been selfless... he had you, he took care of you... (hopefully) but everyone has room for improvement. If he could think less of himself and more of his family, things would get better.

Answer 6

Go home and forget this mess

Answer 7

This marriage has nothing to with you. Go back and live with your Grandmother. Your Dad is not a good person for you to be with right now.

Answer 8

They are adults, so they will come up with a plan to help themselves.  You should think of yourself.  Move back with your grandmother.