Step-moms and step-dads....?

Question

do you get along well with your spouse's ex? I am just curious because you hear more about ex's and current spouses hating each other than you do of them getting along.

My husband and I are separating and eventually filing for divorce and I was just thinking about this.

Thanks for your answers.

Answer 1

I am 32 and my parents divorced when I was 4. My Dad re-married and my Mom and Step-mom get along fine. I think you and your soon to be ex should have this discussion and agree to continue to "parent" together and that if either of you start a new relationship that becomes serious that you will convey your agreement to that person. Good luck to your family. Your kids need you to communicate as parents if not as spouses.

Answer 2

OH NO NO WAY! I have nothing against my husband's ex wife except the fact that she didnt feed her kids and didn't clothed them well. She's jealous of me and talks badly of me which I don't care but when she had negative things to say about my children I got in it. Because first I am a mother and defend my children. I even tried to be nice to her but she don't want to be friends.

Answer 3

Not at all. My husband's ex wife has hated me from the day I said, "Hi, my name is Lisa." She hates the fact that I have a good relationship with her 13yr daughter and that I now have a son with her ex. She didn't want the divorce and does everything in her power to make the two of us angry/upset/stressed etc.

On one hand, I completely understand how she feels. My mother felt that same way about my step mother growing up, which is why I tried my best to make his ex wife comfortable with me. I presented myself in a respectful manner.  I stayed out of things concerning their daughter unless I was invited or my opinion was asked for. When my step daughter came to me with issues concerning friends, boys, clothes etc, I would always tell her to try and work them out with her mother first before she came to me, that I didn't make the shots when it came to rules about certain things. I always asked for permission from my husband's ex when it came to taking my step daughter certain places, to do certain things or get her something for her birthday, Christmas etc. I wasn't really affectionate with my husband in front of my step daughter.  I tried to talk to her, to have an acquaintance relationship with her. How many people would do what I did...go completely out of their way to make someone like this happy and comfortable? Not many.

No matter how hard I tried, I failed. She criticized my every move to my husband on the phone the days after he brought his daughter home. She'd make comments behind my back and to my face. The two I heard weekly was, "She's not a mother so she wouldn't know anything about ______" and "She should save her motherly comments for her own kid." Finally, I just gave up. Why bother trying to work things out when I'm going to get the same result by not trying?

Our son was born in back in May and since then, shes backed off a bit with the comments. Our son was very colicky and my husband and I were extremely tired.

I know it's hard to see another woman "in your place", whether your ex is just dating someone or is married etc. No mother wants another woman "mothering" her child or wants to her that their child would rather go to them to discuss problems etc. It hurts. I think that if my husband's ex SPOKE TO ME about how she felt and explained to me what would make her feel better, rather than just...bitching...all the time, things would have worked out. If not to me, than my husband.

Get everything out in the open before hand and truly make the effort to stick to each other's word about these kinds of things. When it get's ugly, it hurts everyone, especially the kids. I can't tell you how many times I've seen my step daughter get upset over something her mother has said about me or her father.

Good Luck

Answer 4

I have a step mom and her and my ma don't hate each other but they most certainly do not talk!!

Answer 5

my parents are divorced and get along great, no fights no custody battle, nothing.