Step parent adoption anyone have any experience?

Question

I had my son at 17, hes 8 now, and his natural father has never wanted to play a part in his life- his loss.

I met my husband when my son was 6 months old, and although he knows the truth (we dont agree with keeping it from him) my husband is his daddy.

He also knows all about the adoption and wants a party when its all over, how sweet is that.

Anyway i just wanted to see if anyone has any experiance of this process and what we can expect and how long it will take? Will they want to speak to his natural father (although even if they did he wouldnt go against it so that not worrying me at all).

More importantly how iwll this process affect my child? What will it entail for him, i take it they "interview" (for want of a better word) the kids?? Ive also heard they like to speak to the adoptive persons family, my in-laws. Again there will be fine as they adore my little boy!

Its just quite a daunting process

Answer 1

My husband adopted my daughter in September 06' and it was actually a very good experience all around. Her bio dad hadn't seen her or pd any support in years and voluntarily signed away his rights. Once he signed away his rights we went to court w/ in 30 days so a judge could sign off on it and offically take them away. ( they give 30 dys for him to change his mind). My husband and myself also had to get child abuse clearance and criminal background cks. ( that took a few weeks) Then they scheduled the actual adoption hearing. The court had to notify my ex as to when this hearing was going to be because he had a right to be there. ( He didn't show.) In our county they do adoptions once a month at the court house so we were w/ a bunch of other families. They called us in one family at a time. My daughter who was 12 at the time had to be present and state that she understood the whole process. That was it. Six weeks later I rec'd a new birth cert. for her w/ my husbands name on it as her father. As far as costs go because her bio dad gave up his rights so easily it wasn't too bad- about $1100.00 from start to finish. Also the whole thing took about 6-9 months. We live in PA.My daughter loves the fact that she now shares the same last name as the rest of the family. She really needed the stability that came w/ my husband officially adopting her. Even though he raised her and supported her since she was 5 yrs old and was always her "dad" having it be on paper, I think helped my daughter feel more secure. As for the way she feels about her bio dad - she still loves him and misses him. She actually keeps a journal where she writes down how she feels when she finds herself thinking about him a lot and I think this really helps. She also knows that when she is older if she feels the need to find him we will support and understand that. I hope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 2

I think it is quite a daunting process. Usually a social worker from your local office will come and meet you all, spend some time with your son and will then report on whether this is in your sons best interest. From what you have said, it should be fairly straight forward. You say he is 8, presuming you never married his birth father then he has no rights, no parental responsibility, nothing. Once the adoption is complete you will however no longer be able to try to claim maintenance from your ex.

Good luck xx

Answer 3

ive never experienced it, but i would think if your husband has been his daddy since he was little & doesnt know his real father i wouldnt think it would have any effect on him~ your son someday may want to meet his biological father when hes older, so i can only suggest to keep his information around in case that happens. it seems like your son is excited about it~ after all it doenst matter who his natural father is~ hes had a dad all his life~

Answer 4

Where do you live?  I'm in the same boat as you - i met my current partner while I was pregnant with my first son. He is now 4 and he is my sons father.  I have looked into adoption here in Australia, and we have to be married for a minimum of 2 years before we can start (doesn't matter how long we have been together for).

From what I can gather, as long as my sons biological father doesn't have a problem with this, there will be no need for court hearings, etc.

Answer 5

The statutes covering adoption vary by state.  I adopted my (step) daughter about a year ago.  Her mother hadn't visited, called, etc. for over three years, and my daughter asked me to adopt her.  We filed, and her bio dragged herself out of the bar long enough to hire an attorney and file an objection.  The adoption can be done without the other parents consent, but he or she will be informed.  If you don't have an address, it will take a little longer because they will have to publish service in the paper.  All said, it took us less than 6 months.