Step parent adoption question?

Question

I have a daughter how only has my last name I am the only one on the birth certificate I am re-married and my husband what his last name to be put on her.Do you think I have to ask the"sperm donor"to sign something so he can adopt her?That guy has never given me anything for her or cares about her what is your opinion? Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Answer 1

Adoption is a legal proceeding and unfortunately, whether the "sperm donor" has contributed to the relationship or not, he will need to terminate his parental rights - which also means terminating any child support (but it sounds like he doesn't pay it anyway).  I would suggest speaking to a lawyer to find out what the best way to go about this is for you.  

Good luck.

Answer 2

I would think if your name is the only one on the birth certificate it would not be a problem.   Go to  your county courthouse and they have packets that you fill out to have the name changed.  In the packet will be instructions and qualifications that you will need to be able to change the name.   I just now re-read your question... sorry.  If he wants to legally adopt her there is packets for that also.  I know that is much more of a process but at least you will know what you do and do not have to do.   I think that is awesome he wants to adopt her!   Best of luck to you guys.

Answer 3

Yes legally he has to sign off or have the courts take away his parental rights before your husband can adopt her.  If you don't do it the legal way the "sperm donor" can use it against you in the future.

Answer 4

Unless you want the law to come back and bite you in the bum, definitely get her biological father to surrender his parental rights so that your husband can adopt her.

This is just a side note for you to consider in parenting your daughter.  When you call your daughter's biological father a "sperm donor" you're not doing her any favors.  Every child intrinsically knows that they're part their bio mom & part their bio dad...therefore if bio dad is a terrible person, this must make them at least half terrible, too (this is the logic a child's mind goes through).  Please do your daughter a favor and either don't speak of her bio father or don't speak negatively of him.  (remember when our moms always told us "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"...lol)

Answer 5

Wow, I thought I was the only one who had a "sperm donor".

I am going through the exact same situation. Since he is not listed on the birth certificate or any other documents I was told that I do not need his permission.

I'm not sure if that is 100% true, it may depend on the state you live in.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I just asked a similar question in the last week or so

I don't know where you are but I am in Australia and I am in the same situation as you, but I have been able to change my daughters birth certificate so that she now has the same last name as my husband and I, instead of my maiden name I was able to change it without anything to do with her biological father, ( he isn't on her birth certificate), we are now looking at him adopting her and there are different rules between each state and territory, I am seeing a legal aid worker in the next couple of weeks about it because he has never had anything to do with us and would say no if i had to ask for his permission just to stir things up, by the sounds of it there is a waiting time between when your husband and you were married until when he can adopt your child in the ACT I think its 3 years and thats without the "sperm donor" being involved at all,

obviously none of this would be of any use to you if your aren't in Australia, but I hope this all makes sense

if you are in Australia contact me if you want and i might be able to give you more information in the next couple of weeks

Answer 7

depending on the state you may need to have him sign a waiver giving up his rights and then proceed with a step parent adoption.  If he refuses to sign the waiver then take him to court for child support Im sure he will change his mind quickly then.

Answer 8

Unfortunately yes, you do have to have the donor sign off. Stupid, I know. I am sure if he hasn't helped or been in her life, he will sign. Tell him it's that or he has a whole bunch of arrerages in back child support waiting for him!

Good luck!

Answer 9

If the "spermdonor" isn't on the birth certificate than no you don't have to have anything to do with him. He is nothing to her legally. You will have to go through court and usually pay a fee to have the name put on there.