Stepdaughter issues... help!!!!?

Question

So, i have a 7 year old stepdaughter. Her dad and I only get her on the wkends so installing certain morals/values into her is a relatively difficult task. We are having a huge problem with her sleeping in her own bed when she is with us. It is always a huge fight..she screams and cries...and when she finally falls asleep, she will wake up all through the night and try to climb in bed with us..it is such a struggle. This has gone on for months now. She also is starting to have an infatuation with seeing her father or myself naked. everytime one of us are in the bath/shower..she always makes an excuse to come in. She's 7! is that normal? it concerns me..i dont beleive she is parented correctly on the other side of the spectrum..also, lately she's been telling me about bfs she has in her class (1st grade!) and how she shows them her panties sometimes. This is killing me. What do i do? i just dont feel it appropriate for her to sleep with her father anymore. is that wrong of me?

Answer 1

About the sleeping part everytime she gets out of her bed and trys to come sleep with you, you have to pick her up and put her back in her own bed and do this until she gets the point that she is suppose to sleep in her bed. not yours. And about her wanting to see you naked this is an easy fix. just dont let her in the bathroom when you are showering. tell her that when you are done taking a shower that she is allowed to come in. And bf's in first grade, well thats normal every girl has there first crush in 1st grade and consider's them her boyfriend.  shows them her panties?? well thats not right and i think her other father has alot to do with this. maybe he sexual abuses her and this is her way of acting out.. what i think you should do its maybe get a counsler for her. that way she can tell the counsler what she feels and whats going on and what happens  at her other dads house.

hope i helped

=]

Answer 2

fallenaf,

She seems normal to me. Gentle correction from her primary parents on the panties thing about appropriate times and why it's not done, would be in order.

if you are in the room and she wants to clime into bed with her dad and you, she may be feeling insecre in her little world.

Think about it. Here is a child who has yet to develope any guildlines in her life, and the adults around her being selfish and only thinking of themselves turned her once stable life into a floating ship on a ravaged sea.

The things any child learns as acceptable behavior, comes from her environment and what she takes in. From entertainment to her family to her freinds.

My suggestion to you is that all parents and parent figures need to sit down out of earshot of her and get on the same page of how she will be raised.

The primary parents are the ones who need to set the standards and you need to follow them. You may give input but they make the final call.

After all come to agreement than you need to have a talk with her while all are present, so she can have some semblance of stability in her life. the other things will pass if ya'll get together and put her benefit first.

Answer 3

She needs some talks for sure.  She is truly struggling with the split parents.  Maybe it is time for birds and bees talk.  As for the sleeping keep gently working on it. Good luck.

Answer 4

My sister has went through this herself.  You need to make hubby step up to the plate and put his foot down about her sleeping habits.

As for the other stuff... is it possible something more is happening at the other home??  I dont think that kinda stuff is normal...  I'd definitely do some investigating.