Stepdaughter late for kindergarted 13 times.........?

Question

When we got my step daughters report card in april she had been late to school once on the first report card, 9 times the second and 2 times the last report card (fall, winter, spring they only get 3 report cards) through the school year. Her mother has physical custody of her and we have her every thurs-sunday so we bring her to school every friday and we have never had her late. In court papers if she is late on our time(fridays) more than 3 times troughout the school year then we lose the overnight stay from thurs to friday because that s what the mother asked for in court. She has had her late 13 times and every time its more than 10 mins late, sometimes even hours and they are all unexcused according the to school....sooo what should we do about this? Is there anything we can do? I dont think its right that if we have her late more than 3 times we lose time with her. We live in upstate ny.

Answer 1

your right it does sound like the mother is placing conditions on the father and not following them on her part. kindergarten isnt really looked at in truancy but next year is a whole new ballgame.

first i would talk to the mother and get documentation of her excuses(cause you know she has some ready) and then see how things go next school year. inform her that you are concerned with the way kindergarten went and what actions you will take if first grade looks to be going the same way.

get the school involved also and let them know what steps you have taken to do your part and dont badmouth the mom that only makes you look bad.

if you want to make provisions to your order then have proof of things that you have an issue with and talk to a lawyer. that really isnt my area so this is all i can offer you and i hope things go well.

Answer 2

You have no rights other than for her biological parents to disucss what the problem with getting her to school on time is.  Your husband can take his exwife to court for shared custody based on her tardiness but that is all you can do legally since the current court order only states that YOU have to make sure she is in school on time and makes no reference to the mother.  If you wanted to have some sort of recourse your husband should have had the same codicil added to his side of the case.

Answer 3

The school will take matters into their own hands.  Schools get money from the state and federal government for children being in attendance and lose it if they aren't, so they will end up charging her with truancy once they find it is a problem.  The only thing you are going to do by getting involved is cause a lot of trouble that you really don't want to have.  Let the school handle it.  Maybe there is a reason the child has been late.  Schools don't like to excuse anything anymore.

Answer 4

petition your local friend of the court for a change of custody based on the best interest of the child.apparently there is more going on here and the home and mom need to be thoroughly investigated for signs of abuse,neglect or substance abuse in the home.only do this if you are prepared to raise this child and love her as your own.good luck!!!!

Answer 5

so hang on - your concern is not for your step daughter's education - ie that she may miss information etc when she is late

but that it isn't "fair" to you ???

I would be more concerned with any effects on HER not you.

Get over yourself.

Good heavens being late to school does not in itself constitute abuse.   There may be quite practical reasons as to why she is late.  

If her father is concerned then he should check it out with his former partner and the school - if they are on speaking terms.  It may be something that is quite resolvable.

Answer 6

i would go up to court and tell them that she has been late alot but that she is never late when she is with you only with the mother

Answer 7

I know what you are going through! My stepdaughter was late all  the time and I know it wasn't when i had her. her mother works nights so she basically watches herself all day and shes 6 years old! On her report card it said absences  effecting school work and that's ridiculous!!! there should be no excuse for her being late all the time. Her mother says its hard for me to get up to take her to school but yet she doesn't get that if her daughter isn't doing good in school that she needs to get another job!  I would say go talk to a lawyer and then show the judge that she cant event get her to school on time u might be awarded more days to help her with school.

Answer 8

Maybe during the 2nd semester, something else was going on?  Since she was only late twice for the 3rd semester, I don't see a pattern yet.  See what happens next year.

Answer 9

my guess if she is late by the hours maybe she has doctors appoinments etc.... so am i bad mom as my son misses alot of school he is diabled and has alot of appointments maybe something came up sometimes people sleep in i dunno to me 10 minutes late for school isnt a big deal but days are maybe ya need to confront the mom and ask her cause if ya do get  alawyer and stuff and she can back up every reason this little girl was late then it is just gonna make ya guys look dumb i dunno i think this is taken out of portion and is there a reason it was stated like that in the court oviously he wasnt awarded custody for something i dunno custody battles and fighting only hurts the children this is petty

Answer 10

In kindergarten, tardies are NOT considered to be that big of a deal. Does this lady have other children at home to get ready in the morning? Does she have a JOB to get ready for? Does the girl put up a fight a lot in the mornings?

There are so many things you should take into consideration before you start saying that this isn't fair.

If she was HOURS late as you say, I'm sure she had a really valid excuse for that. If schools start to detect a pattern, they will step in and talk to the parents...it's part of their jobs. I also am not sure how you can state that "the child was not at the doctor's we did our research". Ever heard of HIPPA?? The clinic couldn't tell you even if she was there!

Honestly, I don't see that there's anything you can do about this at all. Unless the school asked her dad to come in and have a chat about the girls grades slipping or her being out of sorts in school, I also wouldn't worry about it.